why such resistance?!?!

Kristen - posted on 01/28/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )

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Since the time i said i was going to breastfeed my child i was met with resistance. I heard, "Let's see how long that will last, " from everyone on my side of the family and my husbands. Every time there is some minor issue, I'm told i should give my daughter formula. During the second week when my nipples were cracked..."you should just try formula," "Why dont you just give up." I had mastitis (more painful than birth!) and the first suggestion everyone had was quit breast feeding. My daughter is almost 8 months now, and when I tell people that i am still nursing her they look at me like I'm crazy and are ignorant enough to ask me why!! My husbands parents have been grossed out by it from day one. Every time we go to there house they ask when im going to stop. Just because you like to drink mass amounts of alcohol everyday, and do drugs, doesnt mean that it is a priority of mine. How selfish would that be?? I want to have a few beers, so I'm going to stop doing something that will make my child healthy for the rest of her life! I love my daughter. I am not going to be shunned to a bathroom to feed her because other people have issues. If more women came out of the bathrooms and fed in public I think there would be less resistance to women nursing. Im not saying whip it out for the wold to see, but if you are covered no one has the right to say anything! I cant believe there is such resistance to bfing..... even with all the information on how it is soo much better...why???

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Selia - posted on 01/28/2010

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I still don't get why people are grossed out by human milk but not cow's milk, especially when cow udders are sitting in cow feces all day. (they do cleanse them prior to milking, but still, ew!) Perspective people! It's way more natural to bf than anything else we use as substitute.

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[deleted account]

Resistance is actually a really good word to describe it, because it's such active opposition to something that's actually quite private, isn't it? I don't know why it envokes such negative emotions in so many people that they feel to comment or stare or make it otherwise known that they don't agree. It's probably a mix between ignorance, guilt and a misconception of breasts as being sexual. I thankfully didn't encounter too much of that at the beginning, but now that my baby is 14 months old it's happening more and more often. I'm hoping to let her self-wean, but already I am worried about how people will react in a years time or so. I wouldn't mind ordinary criticism so much, but when it comes to breastfeeding people have really quite harsh opinions. It's not nice when someone thinks you are gross or weird or a clingy mom. At the same time I'm really proud to have this great nursing relationship with my daughter despite all the opposition, and I am trying to be as open as possible about it, so I can set a good example for other moms and help normalize breastfeeding in public. I'm really sorry your family is so unsupportive, that must be so difficult. But in years to come none of the negative stuff is going to matter plus we'll probably be vindicated. After all, with all the research out there things can only get better, right?

April - posted on 10/24/2010

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that's depressing, Brittany! EIGHT great grandchildren and only 1 is breastfed! so sad!! it's amazing how people see only what they want to see (good example about your grandma complaining about the other kids being sick but then saying they are happy and healthy, etc..)

Brittany - posted on 10/24/2010

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My father's side of the family said the same things! Out of the 8 great-grandchildren that my grandma on that side has, My daughter is the ONLY one that is breastfed. That whole side of the family is against it just like you were saying. My cousin's reasons for not breastfeeding were things like, "it's yucky" or "I'm not going to be home very often so I can't". My opinion is that if you think feeding your child is yucky and you are never going to be home to see your kids, WHY HAVE THEM? They make their own decisions, though and of course I love those kids dearly but they are CONSTANTLY sick. Constantly coughing with deep chest coughs and runny noses and eye and ear infections and all kinds of things. Ever time I've ever seen them, they have just caught something , they are in the middle of a horrible sickness or they are just beginning to get over something. I don't think I've ever seen them totally healthy.

The most hilarious thing is that my grandma always complains about those kids always being sick and when she asks me when I'm going to stop breastfeeding because it's been too long (at 11 months LOL!), I start telling her that breastfeeding protects her against a number of sicknesses and diseases because it has antibodies that formula doesn't that are really important in strengthening the immune system. She actually says to me, "Oh come on, those kids are just fine! They are happy and healthy and smart!". I just laughed and said, "are you KIDDING me?" lol I proceeded to tell her that my daughter has never had so much as a runny nose in her life and she couldn't believe it. She of course didn't want it to look like I was telling her something she didn't know (pride) but she shut right up! lol

April - posted on 10/24/2010

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i am currently nursing my 22 month old. my hubby's parents think it's gross and my parents just think life would be easier if i weaned (grandma wants him overnight...um he's 1 and as much as he loves his grandma i don't think he would have fun)

Cari - posted on 10/24/2010

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I am so proud of all of the moms that stand strong against the ignorant! Keep doing what you know is the best thing and forget about all the rest. I'm sure they wouldn't like it if you decided not to gross them out and just quit taking the baby to see them until you quit nursing. Be strong:)

Lydia - posted on 01/28/2010

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I think people are just jealous that you could do it and they couldn't!! I would ignore all of those people and just do what is most important to you. Also it's kind of taboo in our society to breastfeed (although it's getting better, I think we are in the middle of a transition), because the breasts are a huge taboo.... but I would just ignore those people - they are ignorant. :)

Georgia - posted on 01/28/2010

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you can tell your inlaws they wouldnt be here if their moms didnt breastfeed them....if you can speak to them freely. i gave up on careing what people say to me about breastfeeding. one thing i have learned is in america, we look more down on people who breastfeed then do drugs. in my family we breastfeed at least until 20 months old. you know what is best for your child, and thats all that matters. dont let other peoples opion affect what u choose to do.



most people chose to do what is easiest for them, not what is best for their child, that is why people tell you to give formula. i dont care what other have said bout giving my baby a rice bottle. i know that the longer he is getting the best stuff for him, the healther he will b.



you know what is best for u child and you will make the right descion. dont take what other people say to heart. just know whats best

[deleted account]

Ignorance is bliss and people like being happy I guess. I agree with what Sara said, that people are just lazy. We all know that breastfeeding can sometimes be hard and take alot of work, and sacrifice, and some people, no matter how great of parents they are just can't do those things for their babies. Makes me very sad.

Sara - posted on 01/28/2010

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I honestly don't know. I think somehow our society is prude when it comes to breastfeeding, and natural things, and promiscuous when it comes to more... mature matters. I don't understand it. I nursed in public yesterday. In the car, but still in public. Something I was nervous about, and I still am, but I'm learning to not care what other people think. Really, what's the difference in watching a woman feed her child with a bottle, and watching her feed him with a breast? [Well I know, but you still get an idea of what's going on or what has to happen...]



I also think a lot of people are lazy. ...Maybe that's not the right word, but I can't find the right one a.t.m.. Some women would rather not feel so tied down - when babies are formula fed they aren't the sole source of food. They can't eat and drink everything under the sun that they want. I'm like that - I have to have Coke or something with caffeine, but I've cut WAY down on the caffeine because it's better for my kiddo. A lot of people don't understand how much healthier it is [...as long as YOU are healthy] for the baby to breastfeed. Whoever's giving you a hard time, I would ignore them - tell them your stance on it. They can take it or leave it. Tell them you don't want to talk about it anymore. ... I had the same issue when my MIL found out we weren't going to circumcize. :) I think breastfeeding is one of the best choices you can make for your child...

[deleted account]

I think that even if you aren't covered no one has the right to say anything. I mean, sure they have the right...freedom of speech and all. But us moms don't have to listen.

I'm always amazed and saddened when I hear stories like yours. I have always been supported in my decision to breastfeed. And in public, I have only ever had one person try to convince me that I should go nurse my son in the "family room" at the mall. That's the closest I've ever come to receiving negative feedback.

I think it's awesome that you have kept going despite all the negativity and struggles you have faced. Keep up the good work. You're an awesome mama! :)

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