Did anyone else mourn their c-section?

[deleted account] ( 108 moms have responded )

Some of my local mommy groups raved about hypnobirthing and their all natural births and all I could do was go home a cry because I had mega drugs to have a c-section and felt guilty about it.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Bahar - posted on 12/02/2008

13

35

5

I had my daughter by c-section 18months ago and feel absolutely no guilt. I think it's sad that the moms with natural births look down on ones with c-sections!!! I did my research and educated myself on all things pregnancy and birth related. When the time came I chose what was safest and best suited for me and my daughter. I feel no guilt about that and I don't think I'm less of a mother for it.
Personally I think that the whole craze about natural birth is a back lash of the superficial society that we've become. It's great that people are trying to get back to the basics, but nothing is great in the extreme. I have 2 friends with kids about the same age as mine. They both had theirs "natually". One baby had to have extreme measures taken to resusetate her!! Her parents didn't even know that they'd had a girl for 20min after the birth!!!! The other baby was hospitalized for a couple of months because the labor took too long (2days!) and she ended up inhaling meconium and ended up with complications!!! I had a c-section and was happily nursing me daughter 15min after her birth and we came home...together...2 days later! Now you tell me which birth was safer...more pleasurable? I LOVE my daughter and I refuse to let anyone make her birth sound less of a miracle because she was never pushed through my birth canal!!!!

Susan - posted on 01/24/2009

1

16

0

You're not alone! I was horribly depressed after the birth of my first child - I got all the way through labor, failed to progress, and C-section was done. And to top it off, my son never latched on even though I was completely committed to breast feeding. Even after 2 weeks working with lactation consultants.

I finally decided that it doesn't matter how your child arrives - as long as the way to delivery is the best for health of mom and baby. And that you are not somehow "lacking" if you didn't have a vaginal delivery. What really counts is not how you bore the child, but how you love and care for that child. The whole parenting education system is set up around the imagery of perfection and mom's body doing everything it is supposed to. Well without a C-section my son, and I, might not be here today. How can I really feel bad about that!

I really hope I've made you feel a little better because I know how difficult it is and how friends, doctors etc. can unwittingly give those who have C-sections a real feeling of failure. If your child was born healthy, then you SUCCEEDED. However that happened.

Delight in your adorable child! Susan

Lynda - posted on 01/28/2009

2

26

0

No way, I didnt mind how both my beautiful bubs came into the world as long as they were both safe in which they were and healthy. I dont think it matters how you complete the deal you are a mum no matter what and that includes if you breast or bottle, go back to work or stay home, too much pressure is put on mums to do it all so book perfect. I truly feel for any mum who feels guilty about completing one of natures beautiful gifts and if it werent for C sections could you imagine how many beautiful bubs could be out there without their mums! Oh and just because you birth naturally, breast feed and stay at home does not make you a good, caring and perfect mother or have the perfect child. I am a great mum and did not participate in any of the above and my bubs are beautiful, caring little ferals who I and many others think the world of.

Hope this helps

User - posted on 11/23/2008

1

0

0

I also grieved my c-section... and now he's 22yo, taller than me, and we have SO many good memories together. He knows how he came into the world, which of course never bothered him in the least. So, don't worry, as time goes by, you'll have great times that will override any sadness about the birth (which was still a miracle, BTW). Perhaps you'll treasure her even more because you know how close you came to not having her.

108 Comments

View replies by

Kathryncarr - posted on 02/15/2014

10

0

0

Yup, know that feeling. It is a very upsetting experience. Don't let other women who have been luckier with birth experiences make you feel bad. If all else fails, a good dose of common-sense laughter about these pretentious idiots should make you feel better (at least that's what works for me!)

Lindsey - posted on 05/09/2010

50

67

2

i never morned about because iv had c-section and natural so i know what it was like and id would of prefered natural again but had have a heart con and i got pre-eclampisa and doctors needed to get baby out i was 34wk 2 days and she weighed 4.10llb i dont regret it but my back hurts so much now i wish the pain would go away... they do ask you after the op if your back hurts well at the time it dont cose your in pain in other places of your bady then omg whn they go you know about the back aches... but my little girl is amazing she is 6 months now n i love every bone on her tiny body...lol...

Kytama - posted on 05/06/2010

88

33

15

I never mourned about it! I wanted to have a natural birth with my second, just like with my first. But there were some complications and the risk of losing him during a natural birth were too high. So we chose the savest way for the baby, not for me. That's why I never regret the c-section.

Karissa - posted on 03/10/2010

8

35

3

I've struggle with the fact that I had to have an emergency C-section also. My friends talk about how amazing it is to give birth to your child naturally, etc. But I couldn't help it. My pelvis was too narrow and my daughters head couldn't fit even halfway through it. I've slowly gotten away from feeling upset about it, bc my daughter is amazing and I'm grateful to have her in my life. BUT, I stress about having another child bc I don't know if I should try a v-bac. My doc said I was on the verge of needing a blood transfusion bc I had been in labor so long it caused me to bleed out during the c-section. Also, I hear some insurances won't cover a scheduled c-section unless your doctor says you have to have one. What to do?

Stefanie - posted on 02/16/2010

16

12

0

I had a c-section 6 months ago, and I still get upset over it. I find myself crying every time I read about c-sections (yes, I find myself a little bit teary now) and when I see natural births on the TV. It's stupid, I know, but I really can't help it! I was so set on a natural birth and when my waters broke, I built my hopes up a little too high just to get them dashed as I was rushed into theatre. Maybe it's because I was put to sleep as my daughter was delivered or maybe it was because I never got to see her for 9 hours after she was born so something keeps putting me down and I just hope it gets easier in time..

Penny - posted on 02/13/2010

23

22

2

Be thankful for it!! Obviously it was necessary. Be thankful you aren't morning the loss of a child. I was thankful for modern technoloy and the fact that the doctors knew I had to have an emergency C section or my daughter could have died.

Claudia - posted on 02/13/2010

4

18

0

The exact same thing happened to me! I just didn't go past 4 cm. And guess what... I live a block away from the hospital and can hear their generators at night. It kills me.

Claudia - posted on 02/11/2010

4

18

0

I have two children. My first daughter was born by emerency c-section. I had my heart set on vaginal birth. I found a doctor who was willing and supportive of me having VBAC with my second daughter, but it turned out to be another c-section. I suffer to come to terms with the fact that I couldn't give birth naturally. No matter how irrational it seems seeing that I have two healthy girls. I just can not get over it and sometimes I blame any random people for my failure. I feel less like a woman.

Jenny - posted on 01/23/2010

2

9

0

I stayed depressed for the longest after I had my daughter by c section. I felt like I had cheated the whole birthing experience. It was a scheduled c section, so I went in before I got to experience any kind of labor pains. It was so easy and painless. I regretted it for so long. But I wouldn't have been able to have her naturally because her head was so big it wasn't fitting into the birth canal, which explained why I never dilated. I'm having my second child in 5 more weeks by scheduled c section, and a lot of me wants to wait and go into labor, but its just too risky for me. Looks like I'll have another postpartum guilt trip to enjoy lol. It was all worth it either way!

Meradith - posted on 01/23/2010

2

13

0

I rejoiced over having a C-Section! I did not look forward in any way whatsoever to what I consider primitive and barbaric! When my final ultrasound showed my daughter was breech - I was ecstatic!

No room full of people looking at the ol' coochie, no sweating, no cutting or tearing to the place I have to you know what from, no yelling, no conehead baby!

Epidural, move you onto the table, baby out, DONE!

I would CHOOSE any day to have a C-Section if I could!

[deleted account]

I had a c-section 16 years ago and didn't feel any guilt. It was an emergency c-section 5 weeks early because I had toxemia (now called preeclampsia). It shouldn't matter how you had the baby, but that you brought this wonderful child into the world to live, love and learn from you, the mom :)

Tanya - posted on 01/20/2010

247

1

35

Just remember in years to come...it won't matter what other people think about your birth experience and most important, you have a healthy child. Plus, you are no less of a mother because you had a c-section. Period!

Jaime - posted on 12/12/2009

166

90

13

if i didnt have a c section my son wouldnt be here today so i dont mind at all when i get pregnant again i think is have a other c section

Helen - posted on 12/09/2009

224

3

39

my first two was natural my third was emergancy c section an i opted for the fourth to b c section on the fact i can recover alot quicker from c section i dont think it matters how ur baby is born at the end of the day u still created ur baby an its a miricle in its self the worst part of aving a baby is the birth as in the pain part i think its still the same feeling however they r born

Danika - posted on 12/08/2009

19

70

1

i got really depressed after the birth of my son...i had an emergency csection at 35 weeks due to preeclampsia...my whole childbirth plan went out the window...i wanted to have a water birth and no pain medications..i wanted to breastfeed or at lease try to...and i ended up having the csection and because of my bloodpressure and the csection i wasnt able to see my son till he was 48 hours old...i had a really really really hard time with that...i couldnt even breastfeed cuz of the blood pressure meds and the morphine i was on....and now the docs said i wont be able to deliver vaginally with any other of my pregnancies cuz i have to many problems with my uterus....i had my son almost 4 months ago and im still trying to work through it...i just wanted to be able to experience the whole natural birth thing and now i never will

[deleted account]

Yes. My son was delivered after 22 hours of labor, not by my choice. I cried when the doctor told me this was the next step. I feel robbed for not being the first one to hold my baby. While I understand in my head that he needed observation after complications during birth, I am angered that both of my parents were allowed into the nursery to see and hold my child before I got to. I was alone in my room for hours, as my husband went with my son to the nursery for care. I don't know why but my son also had serious feeding issues so I felt rejected every time I tried to nurse. I just felt like I did everything wrong. It took months to bond. It has been 22 mo and I am finally starting to come to terms and accept how everything turned out. It is difficult to accept that everything is not in your control in these situations and just because things did not turn out as planned, it doesn't mean you did anything wrong.

April - posted on 05/27/2009

43

47

6

I felt sad, not "guilty" for a few weeks, but quickly got over it. the safety of you and your baby is more important. now I am totally ready for my next C-sec in 4 weeks. I wanted a second one this time around.

Mandy - posted on 05/27/2009

27

39

1

I still mourn my c-section, although it was best at the time, I was 39 weeks along, and I was in labor for 32 hours!!!!!!!!! I was only dialated 7cm and my Ethan was not wanting to come out..when they told me they needed to take him by emergency c-section I started crying and felt like a complete failure. On top of that I didn't do any research on it because I didnt think I would need to go thru something like that! But in the end, everything was just fine and my baby boy came out perfect at 7lbs 13oz. I am pregnant with my second baby boy and will probably have to have a scheduled c-section. This time I am not scared but am looking forward to enjoying having my baby WITHOUT the labor. LOL.

Lynsey - posted on 05/16/2009

114

36

25

i got to be honest with you i would not of been able to go through with a normal birth the thought goes through me i was sooooo relieved when they offered me a c-section but i have always felt that i wish i could of at least felt one contraction then i would know what other women was talking about. Instead i went through an horrendous ordeal with my c-section which i wont put on here just in case there is any mothers to be reading this, i dont blame anyone in that theatre either i blame the useless midwife i had assigned to me not picking up on my pre-eclimpsia i was very ill. But it worked out wonderful i would go through the same for my goregous girl xxxx Just be happy you got your lovely child there are women out there who would love to be able to call themselves mothers so we should all be greatful we got our kids no matter how they came into this world....best wishes to you and your family xxx

User - posted on 05/05/2009

52

21

3

Quoting kelly:

. I don't feel guilty having a section. I'm so glad he's here and healthy (he's almost one). Ladies, don't ever let anyone make u feel bad for having a section! Maybe we can't be in their "exclussive club" but we have our own "badge of courage" a cute little sun roof scar :)


Amen, Sister!!   Maybe we should start our own exclusive club - - then the Va-jayjay ladies will know how it feels!!   lol   :)



 

User - posted on 05/05/2009

52

21

3

Quoting kelly:

. I don't feel guilty having a section. I'm so glad he's here and healthy (he's almost one). Ladies, don't ever let anyone make u feel bad for having a section! Maybe we can't be in their "exclussive club" but we have our own "badge of courage" a cute little sun roof scar :)


Amen, Sister!!   Maybe we should start our own exclusive club - - then the Va-jayjay ladies will know how it feels!!   lol   :)



 

User - posted on 05/05/2009

52

21

3

Quoting Courtney:



i feel ROBBED! it feels like i have missed out on something big... call me crazy but i wanted that experience of deliever my baby myself... i had 2 emergency c-sec.. the first was cause baby went in stress for being induced for 3 days straight.. i tried for a VBAC the second time around but the day of my due date i recieved another emergency c-sec cause i had a placenta abruption... it was a scary situation.. i never got to see my son for over 24 hrs.. he was in the NICU and i was soo doped up and not feeling good due to the blood loss... i would LOVE to try a VBAC this time around.. but as far as i have been told i wont even be able to try.... makes me sooo sad... SIGH... at least i know im not alone here!






 






Tell me what would have made you feel more robbed?   Having a c-section and delivering you children - or experiencing vaginal birth and God forbid losing your baby?



If I would have had either of my children vaginally either one or both of us would have died.  I in NO way regret delivering my children via c-section.  If I had it to do over again I would do it the same way. 



Now I'm not saying that there are not risks or complications involved with c-sections, there are many stories on this thread and others that contradict that statement, but be glad that you got to deliver your children into the world where they can grow to become wonderful adults and you will be able to be around to witness it.

Deann - posted on 05/05/2009

25

20

2

Its nice to know I'm not the only one who felt bad after having a c section...I didnt geta choice becasue my daughter was breech and I had difficulty with feeling like I did not really experience labor, like I was weaker somehow.

Katie - posted on 05/05/2009

62

30

10

Don't feel guilty! You don't need to have a natural birth to feel like a "real" woman or a good mother. Chances are you did what was best for your baby. If yours was any like mine, you had to have a c/s. I tried the natural thing labored for 14 hours and pushed for 3, my children were not meant to come that way and by forcing them to do so would have endangered them. So celebrate a c/s! Sex with my husband returned to normal after healing!!! Yeah! From what I hear from women and men it's just not the same after natural birth!

Kelly - posted on 05/04/2009

1

0

0

I went to the OR on all fours with people screaming and rushing. His heart stopped and it was the scariest thing that has ever happened to my husband and I. I'm so glad I was at a good hospital that was prepared for something like this (I had no complications during my pregnancy). I don't feel guilty having a section. I'm so glad he's here and healthy (he's almost one). Ladies, don't ever let anyone make u feel bad for having a section! Maybe we can't be in their "exclussive club" but we have our own "badge of courage" a cute little sun roof scar :)

Beth - posted on 02/16/2009

2

12

0

I so know the guilty feeling and now I am expierencing it again even before I have baby number two because the Dr basicaly scared me out of a VBACv by saying I wouldn't make it throught a "real" birth anyway  and has me schedualed for a repeat C-section.  I hate feeling like I am failed in some way eventhough I know I havn't .  I havn't quite gotten over the guilt and distress of my daughters emergency c-section and here I am  trying to cope with having another.  I guess I should be thakful that everyting worked out last time and will be fine this time but I still feel like I am missing somethign important. Like I did someting bad and was punnished by not being able to "give birth" to my daughter and now due to that my next baby.    I am truly excited for the new member of the family but already having to add another c-section to my record.  I am worried about not being able to bond as well with this baby and with the recovery being hard on me taking care of my toddler as well as the new baby.  I feel guilty puttig my family through all of this eventhough it is kind of out of my hands



 

Melanie - posted on 02/16/2009

26

0

1

I definitely feel sadness about having a csection. My son is almost 3 months old and I think about it often. I just don't feel like I belong to "The Mom's Club." No one makes me feel that way. It's just me. I don't feel like I "gave birth" to him. They took him out of me. It's just something I have to deal with on my own and move past it. My next will be a csection also (once I get pregnant!) A part of me wishes I could have experienced labor and delivery. Then I look at my son and realize that it doesn't matter how he got here. I gave him a wonderful home while he was inside of me and am doing my best to give him one now that he's here. That's all that counts.

Michelle - posted on 02/15/2009

9

42

0

Yeah the judgements from others are really hard to deal with.  We just all have to remember that we do what is best for ourselves and get on as best we can given the circumstances.  Well done to you and best of luck for the future.

Michelle - posted on 02/15/2009

9

42

0

Well done to you.  I am a Type I diabetic, so when I got pregnant I knew what I was in for, I hand it to you for looking after yourself during your pregnancy, I think it is a hugely difficult thing to get grips of when it is only for a short period of time.

Jennie-lee - posted on 02/14/2009

1

3

0

I know how a lot of you feel i had to have a c-section with my first i felt that id been cheated because i didnt give birth naturally i was lucky with my second they had me all booked in for another c-section but she didnt want to wait. Im just glad that they were both healthy and i wouldnt change them for the world, as i sure none of us would.

Korinne - posted on 02/03/2009

2

9

0

I wanted a natural birth. I had a very quick labor after only 4 hours after my water breaking I was pushing. The dr. grew concerned when nothing was happening although I was giving it all I had. That's when they discovered my LO was breached. I was rushed off for an emergency C-section. I had felt like I tripped right before the finish line in a race. I also felt so guilty for the way my son was brought into this world. I cried for 6 months and still can't stomach other's stories of childbirth without feeling so jealous at 15 months later. It's really hard. My DH and I are talking about baby #2 and I'm scared I would have to have another C-section and it would keep me from wanting to have another baby.

Whitney - posted on 02/02/2009

93

19

4

I still grieve mine. Where I am in Arkansas they are in the process of not allowing VBACs so, I don't get an opportunity to try and have my second natural. I think the thing I missed the most was having them hand her to ME not my husband ME!!! I am still angry over it. I labored for 24 hours and pushed for over an hour and went in b/c she was sunny side up and wasn't coming out. Plus her heart couldn't handle the strain of being pushed out wrong. I burst into tears when they told me I had no other choice, not b/c of being scared but because i was PISSED!!!! I wanted my chance to have her naturally and it's like all the other options (forcepts and vaccum) weren't even an option they would consider. I was so angry!!!

Lorelei - posted on 01/27/2009

12

0

1

My first C-section was scheduled. My daughter was breech and so we had a planned c-section. I did not feel at all cheated or upset about our decision. However, when my son was born, this time by an unplanned c-section, I was upset. I don't know if it was because I felt I should have been able to go through labour, pain and all, at least once, or that I was failing my child, or what, but when it was decided that I would need to have a c-section again, I bawled like a baby. But I got over that as soon as my baby boy was born, I was just so incredibly happy he was healthy, I forgot all about wallowing in my self pity. The only time I even think about the fact that my children were born by c-section is when friends talk about labour pains and delivery. At that point I just say that instead of doing all that, I just had a zipper put in! They always tell me I was lucky not to go through the pain. Ha! I think I would like them to have a c-section so they can see how "painless" it is.

Emily - posted on 01/27/2009

16

2

0

Quoting Maria:



  Plus, my husband and I call my insicion a "smile", it is there smiling at me to remind me of what I accomplished with my daughter.






 





We call it a smile too - my "Zachary smile"!!



Bravo!

Melissa - posted on 01/27/2009

27

12

1

Thanks for starting this thread! I had a c-section in April after long, drug-free labor during which a doctor who didn't want to be liable for a VBAC crushed my willingness to continue. I was ill through summer and into fall with an infection. Just as I was starting to feel better a wave of my friends/family had normal, healthy vaginal deliveries. I felt so grateful for their uncomplicated births but wanted to cry, and sometimes did, when I thought of what I'd dealt with.

My daughter is a cuddler, which helped remind me why it's all worth it and kept me from dwelling too long. But, reading all this has helped too. It's good to know that I'm not the only one thinking this way. Thank you all!

[deleted account]

Felt guilty w/ my 1st but haven't felt this way w my 2nd (Jan. 15th, 2009). My body just doesn't go into labor no matter what we tried. With my first, I labored for 20 hrs and only dilated to 2.5 cm and then had to have a c-section. So this time around I tried to have a positive outlook and remember this would be best for my little boy and myself. Things went so much smoother this time around w a planned c-section.



try to keep your head and remember every woman's body is different and not everyone can have a natural birth. that is what has helped me not feel guilty this time around.

Have a great day and God Bless!

Nandi - posted on 01/27/2009

2

9

0

Don't feel guilty, I am assuming that your C-section was not a planned one. I had to have my c-sections due to Pre-eclampsia but am glad that I did because I was up and about within half an hour after surgery and went home soon after that. The only thing I was concerned about was if I would have long term side effects as I was completly under both times. The first time due to some of my major organs shutting down and the second time due to being sterilised. It has been 8 yrs since the last c-section and I am not worried about things like weakend bladder, stretched vagina, and other related Natural birth issue showing up at my age.

Sera - posted on 01/27/2009

15

27

0

I am a midwife, and had alwasys dreamed of a slow, quiet, gentle waterbirth for mysef and my baby. After 30 hours of drug-free, wonderful (I am serious, I loved it) labor I was still only at 6 centimeters and the baby had actually gone back up rather than down. At that point my husband, attending midwife, and I all decided together to head to the hospta. Upon arrival, I decided that a cesarean was the route I wanted to go.



I have no guilt at all because I feel I was supported and empowered the entire way through. Women with vaginal deliveries feel sad, taken advantage of, and disempowered, sometimes too. I think what is imporatnat is that we all feel the expeireince was our own, and that we were supported.



That is my hope for all birthing women, that they feel honored and supported regardless of the route the baby takes to get here.

Maria - posted on 01/27/2009

10

16

2

Please, all of you out there who "mourn" your section.  Keep all of these things in mind... you sacrificed for the safety and health of your child, there is no written rule that you must give birth a certain way.  You did what your body allowed you to do and you all have a child to praise and talk about now.  It doesn't matter how you give birth, what your children will remember is how you were as a parent.  If you spend time regretting how they were brought into this world, you are missing time for how wonderful they are in this world.



I knew that I was going to have a section at 22 weeks.  I had a frank breech, butt wedged in the birth canal the entire pregnancy,  and preterm labor, preeclampsia and a host of other problems.  My daughter was born at 34w 4d and the section ensured that she would have no additional issues.  Plus, my husband and I call my insicion a "smile", it is there smiling at me to remind me of what I accomplished with my daughter.



Please, look at the positive sides of your sections.  There are positives and I don't feel as though anyone should feel bad about birth.  Not everyone is the same and not everyone can do everything the same way.  We are individuals and that is how it works.  All of you are strong, remember that always.

Courtney - posted on 01/27/2009

4

35

0

i feel ROBBED! it feels like i have missed out on something big... call me crazy but i wanted that experience of deliever my baby myself... i had 2 emergency c-sec.. the first was cause baby went in stress for being induced for 3 days straight.. i tried for a VBAC the second time around but the day of my due date i recieved another emergency c-sec cause i had a placenta abruption... it was a scary situation.. i never got to see my son for over 24 hrs.. he was in the NICU and i was soo doped up and not feeling good due to the blood loss... i would LOVE to try a VBAC this time around.. but as far as i have been told i wont even be able to try.... makes me sooo sad... SIGH... at least i know im not alone here!



 

Victoria - posted on 01/26/2009

1

3

0

I was given a C Section after 12 hours hard labour and it was all over in 15mins with mega drugs - I've experienced both sides - natural labour pain, a stint in the birthing pool for pain releif (OK actually) and in the end it was the drugs that worked!



look at it this way, at least you won't need to have your bladder remodelled with surgery - and who said all women should be the same in labour? Too posh to push? YOU BET!

X

[deleted account]

Quoting Susan:

I really hope I've made you feel a little better because I know how difficult it is and how friends, doctors etc. can unwittingly give those who have C-sections a real feeling of failure. If your child was born healthy, then you SUCCEEDED. However that happened.
Delight in your adorable child! Susan



that was so sweet...you really lifted my spirits, thank you^_^

Michelle - posted on 01/25/2009

9

42

0

I completely agree, you have worded this so well.  Thank you for finding the words to explain how I feel also.  We are wonderful human beings and are lucky that we are having our children now and not 70 years ago!!!!  It is completely OK for us to feel the way we do about our c-sections, but we should also be proud of our special wee people we are bringing into this world no matter how they come in.

User - posted on 01/24/2009

16

15

1

I had hips like that when I was born.  Both of my children are fine though.  My youngest was breech untill 37 weeks when he turned.  I was prepared for a csection, then was so excited I wouldn't have to have one.  It really bummed me out to have by emergency.  I am glad he is here and alive since he was born with sepsis.

Rebecca - posted on 01/24/2009

3

27

0

I was born with dislocated hips and had to have surgery on them and splints for 6 months +, I'm now 27 and my hips are fine although still click from time to time but it just reminds me what a great job my Mum did caring for my poorly hips.



My baby was breech and at risk due to my hips so he had ultrasound to check but was ok.



No matter what you are doing the best job you can do.  If I have another I'm making no plans and going with what happens. x

Rebecca - posted on 01/24/2009

3

27

0

I had Alex by c-section on 3 July 2008.  He was breech and our hosptial don't turn them or allow natural breech births.  I only found out at 38 weeks, which is when they normally deliever breeches and I went into labour the day before the planned section so had an EMCS.



I did feel guilty to start with but I realise that the important thing is that Alex was born safely and we are both happy & healthy (well my health is questionable lol).



I do feel a bit like I've not done the one thing that sets us apart as women but Mum says after her labours she'd much rather have had sections lol

Marlene - posted on 01/24/2009

89

1

12

yes, I mourn for the first weeks the first c-section but it prevented me from enjoying the first days of my sons life. I did have a second c-section and this time I told myself to enjoy the process, because what matters is how you raise your kids,not how they leave your belly! I totally enjoyed my second c-section and I would probably schedule one if I have the third!

Meghan - posted on 01/21/2009

13

5

0

I had and epidural, but tried to have a vaginal birth. I pushed from 6am until 4pm and finally my doctor told me my bone structure would never let me get him out. We immediatly went in for the c-section and I was awake for the procedue and my husband was stood next to me. I felt like I had failed, even though it wasn't my fault. My son has a birthmark on his forhead and over his eye (they have really faded he is almost 3 they only come out when he is hot of mad) and that made feel even worse. I have pretty much come to turms with it now, but it took a long time.

Jessica - posted on 01/21/2009

57

15

15

I think its important to know that you can be grateful for a healthy child and have negative feelings about the birth at the same time.  After dealing with infertility and multiple miscarriages, I feel very fortunate to have 2 healthy children.  My doctor told me that I was lucky my son and I both didn't die during my first pregnancy/delivery (I had a complete previa that wasn't discovered until I started gushing blood at almost 38 weeks along.)  However, that still doesn't change the fact that I wish I could have had them vaginally.  I have come to accept the fact that I will always feel twinges of jealousy when I hear about a perfect birth story.



 

[deleted account]

Amber~ sounds like you had a really rough time, sometimes i feel a little guilty talking about it because i know some moms have it worse than i.



the initial pain meds werent working; me and a couple others in my family have a resistence to morphene-type drugs.



kim~ I know how you feel, being jealous. there were 4 other moms who were due within a month of my sons birth, and all of them delivered vaginally. seeing pictures of them holding their children for the first time really makes me jealous.



Doctors say that the infant/mother mortality rate is way down compared to a hundred yearsago, and i'm sure c-sections have a lot to do with it; it's of little comfort, but i might have lost my first son if i hadn't had a c-section (the cord was wrapped around his neck twice, he was underweight, and labor wasnt progressing even with pitocin).



it helps a lot to talk about it with other moms who have gone through it

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms