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Kim - posted on 01/20/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )




let me start off by saying that i was not due until today-jan 20, but i have a 3 week old little girl.

the last 5 weeks of my pregnancy were really rough. the weekend before thanksgiving i started having a really bad right flank pain. i knew it was a kidney stone only because i have had them for almost 6 years now. we went to the hospital and was taken straight to L&D. needless to say, i was admitted and was there for the weekend. i had a stent put in that sunday morning. my doctor put me on restricted activity at 34 weeks by not having me stand for more than 30 min at a time. at 35 weeks she put me on strict mandatory bed rest for my blood pressure. at 35 weeks 6 days, i was sent to the hospital for a PIH workup. at 36 weeks 1 day, i went to the hospital for contractions. at 36 weeks 4 days, i was sent to the hospital again by the doctor for my blood pressure which was 145/105 after only sitting in the waiting room. i was admitted and put on hospital bed rest. at 37 weeks, my doctor induced. she broke my water at 8am, i was at 1-2 cm, 50%, and baby was at a -2 station. by 145pm, baby had had 2 heart rate drops and my bloodpressure bottomed out twice. my doc checked me, and everything was the same except i was at a 3. she decided that it was time to go ahead and take the baby via c-section.

it is now 3 weeks later, and our little girl is perfectly healthy- just small. she was 4lbs 14 oz at birth. at her 2 week check-up she was 5 lbs 6oz. however, i feel like i am suffering from PPD. my doc as put me on zoloft, but i still feel the same. when the baby cries and won't stop even after eating, burping, changing, cuddling, swaddling, i get overwhelmed and give up and don't want to have anyhting to do with her. i feel like a bad mom, and that doesn't help me. also, i feel cheated because i didn't get to go into labor on my own, and i didn't get to experience true labor or a vaginal delivery-which i really wanted to do.

does anyone else feel this way or have any advice for me? i feel so horrible for feeling this way!


Kimberly - posted on 02/01/2009




I'm so sorry to hear that you've been feeling this way. PPD can be serious and it's a good thing that you've talked to your doctor about it. If the medication doesn't seem to be helping, be sure to see your doctor again. Many women feel cheated out of a regular delivery when they've had a c-section. Many women suffer from PPD regardless of their situation. It is good to recognize it and walk away when you need to. Do you have anyone to help you out with the baby e.g. the father, your mom/dad, a friend, or a sibling? We have to be okay with asking for help. It may be humbling, but it is important to recognize the need when one is there. Your daughter is beautiful by the way. I hope that you can receive the support you need. In the meantime, I will pray for you. Perhaps there is a group on "Circle of Moms" for PPD. If not, perhaps you can create one. That may be a great way to connect with other mom's who are going through some similar feelings. God bless you Kim and your precious daughter too.

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