Brushing my 3 year old's hair

[deleted account] ( 13 moms have responded )

My daughter who is three HATES to have her hair brushed. She screams, throws her arms around, and shakes her head as I try to brush her hair. I need advice on what to do so I can get her hair brushed every day without fighting with her all the time.


Michelle - posted on 10/24/2009




Wow I thought my daughter was just a feral but she is normal. I resort to the I will cut it off routine and it works, even going to get the scissors.

Tanya - posted on 11/21/2009




I have had so many issues with both my daughters with this. My oldest is 8 now but she had issues until I started using adult shampoo and conditioner on the advice of our hairdresser. Plus her hair is super thick so we had is thinned (it worked great). Now my youngest took more of a bribe to get it done. Also switched to regular shampoo/conditioner. She also liked a certain comb that she liked in our drawer as it is her favorite colour purple. We nicknamed it her magic comb. We also got leave in conditioner for her really bad hair days as her hair is the total opposite hair type as her sister (fine and fly away). You can water dwon your conditioner and put in a spray bottle for the same effect. I find now she is better with it as long as I am strict with the combing every day at least once. The worst for us is after a longer drive from the car seat rubbing the back of her head. I also found letting her pick pretty clips to put in helps her be more willing. I buy ours from the dollar store as they lose them so fast and with 2 girls and all lol


Stina - posted on 10/24/2009




when my dd was about 18 mo, we had a bunny rabbit that was in our back yard from time to time... so when it was time to brush her hair I'd say "OH! Look at the bunny!" The bunny didn't even have to be out there- she'd pretend he was there and talk about it while I brushed her hair. I was even able to get braids in this way.

Other times, like if I want to put braids in, I'll turn on her favorite show...

Or brush it while she is eating (I know... gross... but she's preoccupied with something else.)

Her Aunt stayed with us for a while and gave her a hairbrush she felt wouldn't pull as much- dubbed it the "super brush" Now, it's often the ONLY brush she'll let me use. so maybe, find a special brush, let her decorate it with stickers and give it a name like "the Princess brush" "Super Brush" "Magic Hairbrush"

Technique is also super important... luckily, her dad had long hair in the 80's LOL. so he knows to start at the bottom and work up... but when working out a tangle, I make sure to hold it at the base so that it doesn't pull.

And when it comes down to it, if she needs her hair brushed and just won't let me, I put her between my knees, cross my legs so she is stuck and get it done. As she fights, I calmly tell her that it would be over faster if she would hold still- that if we don't brush it now, it will be harder to brush later etc.

My DD is now 3 and usually will let me brush her hair now. It helps that I recently gave her a trim so it's less tangly. Sometimes I give her a "choice" do you want to brush your hair now or after we brush your teeth? By giving her control over the order we do things, she relinquishes her head a little easier. I also give her the brush to start brushing her hair- and then I finish. While she brushes, I praise her and usually brush mine at the same time so she can mimic me.

Cassy - posted on 10/22/2009




When my neice was that age, my sister and I fought her every day to brush her hair. We def did the detangler thing. My sister would also allow my neice to brush my sisters hair. It made it a lot of fun. Sounds horrible, but after a while when that would not work anymore, my sister told her that shw was going to cut it off. That worked. Forever. She even went as far as getting scissors out of the drawer. Gotta do what you gotta do.


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Becky - posted on 10/28/2009




I started actually using conditioner on her hair. She only takes a bath every other day and the conditioner keeps her hair tangle free for the couple days. I usually get her up on her big stool to brush her teeth (at least morning and night) and do it while she's up there so she can watch in the mirror. Sometimes she says "I don't wanna be pretty" and I tell her she can mess it back up when I'm done. She does ok with this.

Jane - posted on 10/27/2009




my 3 year old is exactly the same she shouts ow and cries that it hurts even if it doesn't!!! we use detangling spray and she is a huge Dora fan so we bought her a Dora hairbrush while on holiday with her name on. she loves it. because its a "special" brush she will gladly let me brush her hair. then i brush her hair and tell her she can brush it after to make sure i got all of the knots out and to tell me if i missed any xxx

Michelle - posted on 10/25/2009




After trying everything I ended up using reverse phsycology on my kids! When they would refuse I would simply tell them that I didnt think they could do it because only big girls get their hair brushed and they must not b big enough yet! As they would creep towards me I would say no u better not come over here cause I dont think u r big enough and I can only come big girls hair! Of coarse I would kind of say it in a playful voice! My kids love when I challenge them like that and it works in many situations, I find my older daughter saying the smae thing to my little ones when she is trying to get them to help take their plate to the sink and so on! It looks like u have had many suggestions so I hope u find a solution that best fits u and ur family!

Sarah - posted on 10/25/2009




wow i have the same problem some times but now what i do is tell her a fairy tail while i brush her hair and let her help you make the story up is will take her mind off of her hair

Brittany - posted on 10/23/2009




My daughter is the exact same way!! I spray a little bit of that de-tangler in her hair and it works awhole lot better and also hold it at the same time at the top so it doesnt pull as hard!

Angela - posted on 10/22/2009




My daughter is 3 also and we struggled briefly with hair brushing, but I have a suggestion. First of all I took her to Wal-Mart and let her pick out her own brush, then she sees me using hair products all the time so I bought her detangling spray to use. I let her spray her own hair (its tear free) and she takes a whack at brushing her own her, then I tell her it's my turn to do it and she let's me finish brushing it. Sometimes letting her do my hair as a reward for letting me brush hers works too. Good Luck

June - posted on 10/22/2009




Hey there
I have just come up with an idea of 'mice nests'. I told my girl that we need to brush the miouses'nestsout of her hair. She likes this idea and lets me go for it. I have also purchased some spray on detangler which works a treat on her fine hair - she likes this too cause she sees me use it and now its 'our' hair product that we share. Good luck!
June and Miss Scarlett

Chrystle - posted on 10/21/2009




Well I have to suggestions I have pretty much the same problem with my three year old sometimes these work some times they don't. Its pretty sad that as parents we have to stoop down to bribing are kids to get something done then so be it. I tell my daughter she has snaggle monsters in her hair.. Some times that works some times it don't. Also If she don't like it brushed cause it does have tangles you might want to look into a detangler. Alot of time if you get them there own little mirror and let them sit in the sink and watch you that will help other times I have to resort to bribes like little dumb dumb suckers or going and doing something she wants to do. Each child is different so it hard to say. My daughter use to like having her hair done. But now she just does not have time. lol I think its the age Hope those help.

Melissa - posted on 10/21/2009




If it's because it hurts then I suggest that you hold her hair like it is in a pony tail and start brushing it from the bottom it wont pull and hurt as bad. Hope this helps.

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