How to deal with husband who works out of town.

Tammy - posted on 03/19/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )




My husband has taken a new job that has him working out out town. He is gone for a month at a time, sometimes a little more and then home for 7-10 days. I have two daughters, 3 1/2 and 20 months. My oldest daughter is "daddy's girl" and she is having a really hard time with him being gone. She is starting to act out and says she is angry at "everything". Her latest thing is that she does not want her younger sister around anymore. She says that only she and myself love Daddy and her sister is not allowed to love Daddy. She does not want her part of our family anymore. She does not always feel this way but when whe gets in a snit this is how she feels. My husband phones and talks to the girls every day and they draw him pictures etc. which we then mail to him. I try to get her to talk about how she feels and I tell her it's o.k. to miss Daddy, we all miss Daddy and he misses us. I don't know what else to do. Her behavior seems to be getting worse. Does anyone have any suggestions? My husband is so upset about the effect it's having on the kids (mainly our oldest) that he thinks he should reconsider his job.


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Heather - posted on 03/19/2010




My husband has left for months at a time since I had my 3 year old and last year started working out of town 4-5 days and then home 2 or 3. My 3 year old started acting out and also saying he doesn't like his 15 month old brother, but has gotten better about behaving and playing with his little brother. He started preschool in September and still cries when I leave him there for the 3 hours, but is fine once I'm gone. I think he thinks I'm going to leave like Daddy and not come back for days! :( The only advice I can give is talking to daddy on the phone, keeping them busy, and giving them time to adjust. It gets easier eventually, but nothing can ever replace having daddy home everyday and I hate that they have to go without him for long periods of time. My 15 month old is a daddy's boy, but since he was only 2 months old when he started leaving during the week it hasn't affected him too much. Kids are resiliant and get used to things being a certain way so once daddy being gone becomes the norm then theyshould stop acting out and not think about it as much. Good Luck! It does eventually get easier for you and them!

Tiffiney - posted on 03/19/2010




Hi Tammy, Im a mom of two boys 3 years old and 4 months old. I can understand where you are coming from, my husband is a truck driver and hes gone for a month to two months at a time and when he comes home hes only home about 3-4 days and its hard. My 3 year old was only 1 when my husband started driving a truck, he also is a daddys boy. I had to let him carry a picture of his daddy and him around with in the house. Then when we left in the car, I always pointed at the deisels and said thats what daddy drives. That helped alot because when my husband come home he knew it was time 2 spend with his daddy and he talks on the phone to him and tells him he loves him. When we had our second son, we told him he had 2 help mommy take of him because daddy had to work and couldnt help mommy, so it worked out really well that way. He helps and he enjoys it alot. You can respond back if you need more advice.

Alexandria - posted on 03/19/2010




I am recently in a very familar situation. My husband just started a new job and he is away for 10 days at a time and then gets to be home for 4. Not quite the same as yours is away longer, but it is hard for my 4 year old son to adjust as we have always had daddy at home. He however is taking to this very well. My husband had a talk with him about how his new job means he is going to be away from him and mummy and that he would call us every night. The other thing that helped is my husband has gone to work with CN (a railway company) and my son adores trains so when they talk on the phone my hubby tells him about all the trains and tells him that he took some pictures of them with his phone for him. It seems to make him really excited. I also do a count down with my son and just stress to him how much daddy loves us and how soon he is going to be back and then talk to him about things we are going to do together when daddy is home. I think all you can do is just keep stressing how much daddy loves her and the rest of your family and keep talking to her about whats going on like you are and i am sure it will get better. it is something that she is going to need time to adjust to. I mean i am struggiling with having my hubby away and he has only been go for 5 days so imgaine how hard it is on kids. Sorry if that did not help much, but just wanted to share that i to am gonna be going through this. I am 33 weeks pregnant and i know it is gonna get harder for our family so i am sure my son will start acting out to. You just need to remain strong for your girls and you will get through it. Good luck, i will keep you and your family in my toughts!!

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