very angry after parent teacher conference.

Shella - posted on 11/12/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )




During the summer my husband and took jobs in another area and had to change my son's school. I knew the school wasn't following through with everything they were supposed to be doing but once we got here it was worse than I thought. The schools here are way ahead of where the school we moved from was. These kids are reading in kindergarten and AJ is in the second grade and not reading yet. I met with the principle, AJ's teacher and the special ed teacher who informed me that the paperwork they received from his previous school was incomplete and they didn't believe that all the required testing had been done. At that meeting the special ed teacher and the principle explained that they couldn't just reassign AJ back to the first grade like I wanted. They said it wasn't legal. Soooo they are doing all the testing now. We have an IEP scheduled in a couple of weeks. Last week I had to go to a regular parent teacher conference. Let me say that when I was in the original conference with everyone I was very impressed with the attitudes of both the teachers and the principle. But this time I was floored when I walked in and his teacher told me to have a seat it wasn't good. Okay I didn't expect things to be perfect but she had NOTHING good to say about my son. Her comments were: I don't know what to say. He isn't working at a second grade level. I don't know what else to tell you. Okay I used to work in a state hospital and when we did any conference we had to say at least one positive thing about each client. I panicked. I said well we knew that before I came here. How is his behavior? She said he was a very loving child who really wanted to do well. Okay... how about his homework. He was missing 2 out of 40 homework assignments. Am I wrong to think that the positive should have been mentioned too and that I shouldn't have had to pull it out of her? Am I just being too sensitive?


View replies by

Jenny - posted on 04/14/2011




I was told that special ed children can not be held back. I thought my daughter should have repeated kindergarten but she was moved to the first grade. It is to protect the special ed kids. It would be so easy for the schools or teachers to hold them back every year. My daughter is in 1 rst grade this year. She recieves special ed services and she has an aid with her. She is developmentally 3 years old and her speech is at a 2 year old level. My dad was a special ed counselor and teacher and he explained it to me is that children with and IEP have their schooling tailored to fit with their needs and abilities. They are taught at their speed and level. It is important for them to establish friendships and if they are constantly held back they are not making friendships and learning social skills. I do think your teacher should have mentioned the positive things about your child and not just the negative.

Kathy - posted on 02/23/2011




On the "Procedural Safe Guards and Parental Rights packet they should have given you there should be a list of advocacy agencies you can contact. Many are private pay and can be quite costly but there should be some free help from a local organization in your state. Your state education website should also have information and people you can contact for advice. They may be refusing to hold him back because they can be in violation of rights if they do not do it properly. I don't not enough about the law to say. There is a lot of criticism about holding SPED kids back instead of addressing the educational needs. You are part of the team and if you want him held back so he has a chance of catching up while they address the root cause then they should follow you lead. is a great resource for your own education on SPED laws and practices. There is a recent article on their website specifically addressing the practice of holding children back.

If your child is missing 2 assignments and it is really that big of a deal why weren't you informed before this. I would be worried if he was missing 38 but 2? I you are that concerned about the lack of positive feedback you may ask to have you child moved to another class. These kids need to lathered in the positive when they deserve it and sometime it means looking at a small piece of a big mess that was done correctly.

Stacey - posted on 02/20/2011




my daughter is in the 9th grade she started school when she was three we always got good feedback from teachers,therapist,and the principals.she is in speacial ed class and two regular classes with some assistance

Sheryl - posted on 12/15/2009




no i don't think your being to sensitive every perant wants to hear something good that there doing no just everything wrong. i feel it was her job to do so. you should have not to ask. my son teacher always till me what his doing good and right. then till me what he needs help with or work on.

Rhonda - posted on 11/14/2009




No! You're not being too sensitive. You also have a legal right to request that your child be held back in the 1st Grade if you feel that's what's best for him! Your child's teacher also should've started with nothing but positive about your child! You already knew problems exsisted or you wouldn't be working so hard to do what is necessary for your son! Keep making sure the school is aprised of the doctor's recomendations and stay on them about everything else! Take it to the school board office if needed! They have someone who cordinates the special ed dept. for the whole county. It's this person's job to make sure your son is getting the education he's entitled to! I hope this helps! God bless you and your son!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms