Birth Control

Lauren - posted on 09/26/2009 ( 21 moms have responded )

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As a Christian, I'm torn over this issue. I want God's will in how many children I have and when they come, but my flesh doesn't want another child right away. My Husband and I have been married one year this past June and our son was born this August! I'm afraid that if I don't use a pill or some other form of birth control I will be pregnant again before my son turns one! What do you think and what does the bible say about this issue?

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Kisha - posted on 09/27/2009

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okay, I know many may disagree with what I'm about to say but I disagree with some of the posts. First, let me say that I'm glad you said you want to do God's will when having children.

I believe in birth control and i don't believe its a form of abortion. I believe sex in the contents of marriage is to be enjoyable, and knowing that I may get pregnant and I DON'T WANT ANY MORE CHILDREN (LOL) , I would not enjoy it, which mean that my husband would not enjoy it. So there fore, I believe that birth control is a must for my marriage and for my sanity (lol). I think because you are having mixed feelings about this means that you may not be ready for another baby and because you are not ready you should wait and pray asking for guidance and direction. Also talk to your husband about your feelings and maybe you two can come to some sort of agreement. At the end of day, you have do what you think is best for you, your marriage, family and most importantly what God wants you to do.

Darci - posted on 09/28/2009

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I would have to agree with Charlotte on the Natural Family Planning. I am not against certain kinds of birth control as I used it for about 3-6 months during the early part of our marriage, but I do not like the way it mades me feel (mood, etc.). So, my husband & I have been practicing NFP for 6+ years, and we have 3 beautiful (I'm biased, of course) children... planning for one more. My oldest is 3.75 years, middle is 2.5 years and my youngest is 4.5 months. NFP is great for planning the spacing of your family as well. May God Bless your family.

Darcel - posted on 09/27/2009

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If the bible does not call it sin, I can't call it sin. I have yet to find the bible scripture/s (and yes I have looked) that saids preventing pregancy is sin. Jesus never even mentioned the subject. I know several people feel differently and I respect that as well.



So my question is: what do you and your husband think and feel? At the end of the day it is your family and walk with God that will be affected by your choice not our opinions.

Anne - posted on 09/26/2009

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I agree with what Heather said. The most important thing is to Pray about this and for you and your husband to be in agreement.

Heather - posted on 09/26/2009

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I think that if it's God's timing for you to have another child then no form of birth control will work. I think that it is wrong to use any form of birth control that is actually a form of abortion. To learn what all of these are you would need to talk with your doctor or start doing research. I think that God calls each person differently, and this is a decision that you and your husband need to pray about together. I think it is between the two of you and God. The Bible does say that children are a heritage from the Lord, and a blessing. I know many wonderful women that have lots of children and are still going strong. I also know some moms that only have one child and might have a mental break down if they had another one at this point. I think that God knows what you can handle. Like I said, pray about it.

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Anna - posted on 10/13/2009

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I can't say for anybody else but I know that for me when I was first married I was so afraid to get pregnant that I was on the pill and using another form. Well, the Lord had other plans bc I got pregnant 7 months after I got married and I wanted to wait 2 yrs. God's time is always the right time. He will give you and your husband peace when the time is right. If you find out you are expecting, just remember that God is in control and He will help you through it. As for what to use or not...talk with your husband about how you feel and what the two of you feel the Lord would have you do. The key to me was to make sure that I wasn't using something that was abortive, and that I was in God's will. Communication and prayer will help you know what you need to do.

Polyleah - posted on 10/13/2009

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Hello Lauren, I am just reading this today and have digested everyones responses. I have tried certain types of birth control that were hormonal based (the pill, patch) and they gave me leg cramps and I was afraid of blood clots so I stopped. My husband and I have been doing I guess NFP for years, if I am correct, basically the Rythem method? We would use condoms during my ovulation cycle. Well, I agree with the person who said that if God is ready for you to have kids you will despite any birth control method you use.



I conceived my third child exactly two weeks after my second turned 1, and we used condoms during my "ovulation" period, but I guess God had another plan. And I am so glad he did because I have been trying for a fourth for the past three years, and have had three miscarraiges. I recently found out that I have a very low vitamin D level, and this may be contributing to my miscarraiges. So God saw this way before I would, and I can't imagine if I had waited and would not be able to have anymore. I call my third child my bonus baby.



I am very fertle so my husband and I use condoms all the time now, because I have had three miscarraiges and two of them were second trimester. So I feel God may have allowed me to conceive and carry that long to alert me of my health condition (my research showed me that many 2nd trimester or multiple miscarraiges are usually due to the mothers health like a vitamin deficiency). I want to take care of my health before I try again. Prayerfully if it is in his will I will have another, I am 37 so we will see. So this is an issue for you and your husband to truely pray about and come to an agreement on. I don't think it is a concrete yes or no deal biblicaly. With the exception of any abortion related method, the other forms of control don't appear to be sinful (nothing I have found biblicaly), but I would be leary of those that can cause you health problems, which unfortunately are a lot of them. Stay in prayer.

Darci - posted on 09/29/2009

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I am not into the Catholic Theology, but I still found the NFP materials to be a good conservative read... and it definitely works great for our family. I am not against condoms during the fertile portion of my cycle.

[deleted account]

if you want to try NFP without the Catholic theology (I love my Catholic sisters but don't agree 100% w/ the theology) try searching for fertility awareness, its the same thing. A good albite liberal book is Garden of Fertility.

Tonya - posted on 09/28/2009

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I am against taking/implanting any form of birth control that alters the way my body was built to function. We have four children and my husband and I do not want any more children. My husband and I use condoms. I am against tubual ligation or vasetomy (the man thing).

Danielle - posted on 09/28/2009

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I think the one thing we often over look is who creates life? Who knits you together in your mothers womb? Who will never give you more than you can handle? Rest in his hands and take your worries to Him in prayer.

Leeinda - posted on 09/28/2009

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I think that it can be a tough decision for any mom. My son is 13 months old and I am due again in January. WOW. sometimes it still surprises me to say that. But I can not be on any type of birth control due to a blood clotting disorder and the risk for blood clot elevates due to the hormones in bc. I know that if that were not the issue I would have been on something. I don't think it is a sin to protect the children you havnt had yet. If your not ready when they get here that con bot only be a financial burden to yourself and your husband but tension in the relationship with everyone. Due to medical reasoning it is considered unsafe for me to carry any more children after this one, so I may have a partial hysterectomy when he arrives. I have had to think a lot about that because to me God should be the one making that decision....but I fully believe that he gave doctors the knowledge they have to use it. So I have prayed and trust my doctor...I think thats what you need to do. Pray Pray Pray!

Victoria - posted on 09/28/2009

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Now these 3 scriptures came into my spirit. They are dealing with the subject of food, however the principle is the same.

Ro 14:20 (NIV) Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble.

1Co 8:7 (NIV) But not everyone knows this. Some people are still so accustomed to idols that when they eat such food they think of it as having been sacrificed to an idol, and since their conscience is weak, it is defiled.

Col 2:16 (NIV) Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day.

If you feel at all convicted by taking a formal birth control, I'd say prayer about it, but ultimately if you still feel convicted, don't take it. However, don't let anyone judge you if your choice is to take birth control either, if you are free to use it (as I am) go ahead with Gods blessing.

Victoria - posted on 09/28/2009

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I've done much research on birth control having always had problems with taking them in the past. Not all birth controls are a form of abortion. And those who say so, haven't really researched it, they have only formed an opinion on what they've heard, not what they know. As parent we are supposed to take care, protect, teach, discipline, nurture, etc....our children. If we are not ready or capable to do that, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, that we have no business becoming a parent, whether for a first time or again. I have three daughter & know fully well I couldn't cope with more, and God lead me to a birth control that doesn't cause me any problems. They way I see it, you can go ahead & take your birth control & as long as it's in Gods will it will work, the point Gods plan for you takes another direction, you'll get pregnant anyway.

Victoria - posted on 09/28/2009

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Quoting Darcel:

If the bible does not call it sin, I can't call it sin. I have yet to find the bible scripture/s (and yes I have looked) that saids preventing pregancy is sin. Jesus never even mentioned the subject. I know several people feel differently and I respect that as well.

So my question is: what do you and your husband think and feel? At the end of the day it is your family and walk with God that will be affected by your choice not our opinions.


Once again, I agree with you S.Darcel.



AMEN!

Victoria - posted on 09/28/2009

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Quoting Kisha :

okay, I know many may disagree with what I'm about to say but I disagree with some of the posts. First, let me say that I'm glad you said you want to do God's will when having children.
I believe in birth control and i don't believe its a form of abortion. I believe sex in the contents of marriage is to be enjoyable, and knowing that I may get pregnant and I DON'T WANT ANY MORE CHILDREN (LOL) , I would not enjoy it, which mean that my husband would not enjoy it. So there fore, I believe that birth control is a must for my marriage and for my sanity (lol). I think because you are having mixed feelings about this means that you may not be ready for another baby and because you are not ready you should wait and pray asking for guidance and direction. Also talk to your husband about your feelings and maybe you two can come to some sort of agreement. At the end of day, you have do what you think is best for you, your marriage, family and most importantly what God wants you to do.


I so fully agree S. Kisha.



AMEN!

Danielle - posted on 09/27/2009

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I disagree with Marc Driscoll I think he's forgetting the part about trusting the Lord to know best and provide. I think Nancy Leigh DeMoss is very insightful and not at all legalistic or judgmental I would recommend her book Lies Women Believe anytime it's very convicting.

Charlotte - posted on 09/27/2009

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Cassandra, I never said it was 100% effective. The pill isn't 100% effective. I'm sure we've all known people who got pregnant while on the pill (my sister-in-law for instance), or using condoms. My mother in law got pregnant with an IUD in. The *only* 100% effective form of birth control is not having sex at all, but I'm sure most married couples wouldn't find that to be an acceptable solution.



You don't have to take my word for it: http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_roo...

"A woman can use LAM if:



1. her menstrual period has not returned since delivery (Bleeding or spotting during the first 56 days is not considered menstrual bleeding.) AND



2. she is breastfeeding her baby on demand, both day and night and not feeding other foods or liquids regularly (Occasional tastes of foods or other liquids are permitted, but they should never replace a feeding at the breast.) AND



3. her baby is less than six months old



When all three of these conditions exist, she has less than a two percent chance of becoming pregnant. However, the woman is encouraged to begin using a complementary family planning method when any of the three conditions changes, or whenever she chooses.



Scientific studies conducted around the world by the Institute for Reproductive Health and other organizations have proven that when used correctly, LAM is an effective, safe, convenient short-term way for breastfeeding women to delay pregnancy."



http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_roo...

"By studying more than 4,000 women in seven countries around the world, the researchers found that in the first six months postpartum, LAM is equivalent to the protection provided by most nonpermanent contraceptive methods. However, the pregnancy rate of women practicing LAM did increase between six and 12 months postpartum."



http://www.parenting.com/article/Fertili...

"As a natural method of birth control, LAM's effectiveness rate can be as high as 98 percent (similar to artificial methods)"



Hardly sounds like an "old wive's tale" to me.

Cassandra - posted on 09/27/2009

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There is a great church in Seattle Washington that is pastored by a man named Mark Driscoll. And last year he did a sermon series called "Religion Saves and 9 other misconceptions" And question 9 addressed this topic. The churches website is www.marshillchurch.org. Go to the search bar at the top of the page and put "Religion saves" and scroll down to "Birth control" and when you click on it, there is a video sermon or just audio only. It is about an hour long, but it really covers the topic with some good info for you and your husband to be able to prayerfully decide what is best for you. I hope this helps you with your question. God Bless you and your family. And congrats on your new little one. :)

The post that Charolette put up about breastfeeding being and effective BC isn't correct. You can still get pregnant while breastfeeding. My grandmother was told this by her doctor and had a baby 10 months later. This is a old wives tale. So I would really talk to your doctor 1st before you rely on that form.

Charlotte - posted on 09/26/2009

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Are you still breastfeeding? Breastfeeding naturally suspresses ovulation and can help reduce the chances of getting pregnant. In fact I have heard that if you are exclusively breastfeeding (no bottles, no other food or drink, nursing baby whenever baby wants it including at night), that alone can be 98% effective in preventing another pregnancy for at least the first 6 months.



Do a search for info on Natural Family Planning; it might be what will work best for you and your husband. Aslo, as icky as condoms are, they are a barrier method and will not in any way abort an embryo since they prevent the sperm from ever reaching the egg. Also, they don't have hormones so they won't be messing up your mood or causing you to gain weight or anything like that.

Danielle - posted on 09/26/2009

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I think that we women today have bought into alot of lies that society tells us without really giving it much thought. The truth is this. Chemical birth control in all forms work two ways first to try and keep you from ovulating the second is that it makes your womb a hostile place for a fertilized egg so the baby is just aborted out. You'd never know month from month which way it worked for you. I have always found that God has changed my heart toward the idea of having another baby before I even find out I'm pregnant. My advice is take it one day at a time and say I don't know about tomorrow but today I will live for your will not mine. You'll never regret the baby's you have.

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