Church

Tiffany - posted on 03/30/2010 ( 36 moms have responded )

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I want to take my 17 month old son to church, but I'm afraid he will act up and the other church members will judge me because of it. What should I do?

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Jill - posted on 03/30/2010

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if they are true christians they will not judge you... my 19 month old makes some noise in church as does my 5 yr old who won't go to sunday school.... most people won;t say anything ... they are just glad you are there... Satan will put that bug in your ear that people are judging you .. but pay him no mind....most people have gone through the same thing with there kids too.... do you best and don;t be hard on yourself... try to keep him busy with small toys and snacks... move to the back when he gets too loud or take a break and go outside... he will get used to the routine and start to behave ... don;t expect miracles at first and ask God to help you keep your children quiet..

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Julie - posted on 04/12/2010

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Try taking him. If he gets noisy, take him to the nursery. Try each week, and your baby will learn how to sit in church eventually. Bring something for him to look at. Books, crayons, little quiet toys.

Donna - posted on 04/12/2010

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Baby, you won't be the only one there with a small child. Go, praise God that is just the devil trying to keep you from being fed the word of God. If there is someone who get offended apologize to them and don't stop going. He's a baby please raise him in church he will learn as he gets older but reminder the older ones play in church too including teens. (smile) God bless you and go get fed God's word

Loziba - posted on 04/12/2010

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The bible says 'trainn up the child in the way they should grow, so that when they are grown up, will not depart from it'. Training of child start during pregnancy until 6 years. Therefore the early you take him the better, also practice at home, sing, pray, tell bible stories at this tender age, ensuring that you give the child proper foundation. Dnt woryy about the church member, worry more of spiritual development of your child. Early stage she will know the reverence in church, compared to home

Data - posted on 04/08/2010

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sister, you just go ahead and take your child to church. you are not living to please any one but God Almighty and what better place to be than the house of God. People who judge must strive to remove the log in their eye before they worry about the speck in the next man's eye. What exactly can a child even do that will make people judge? children will always be children.

Josslyn - posted on 04/08/2010

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Your sons rowdiness is his way of praising God, Let him praise Him, God made him that way, God said "Let the children come to me" didn't he?

And as other moms have said, if your church isn't willing to have him there then I would suggest looking for another, Our church all mothers and children are in the front rows and you should hear the giggles, blurts and laughs when we start praise and worship, It gets the older people in the church to liven up and Shout out to the Lord in praise!!

Ruth - posted on 04/08/2010

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Well, I think if you find a church with members that will judge you for bringing your child with you, you should seriously find a new church. People go to church and pretend to be christians and judge the person next to them for having a fussy baby. Don't worry about them, God will sort them out. You go to church with your baby. Just remember, if he gets too fussy / loud, there should be a cry room / creche?

Megan - posted on 04/07/2010

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I would go. I have a 2 1/2 yr old an she has been going to church with us since she was 3months old. Our church offers a nusery but I keep her with me till the Pastor gets ready to preach. I think it is good for children to learn sometimes they need to play quitely. If you do feel uncomfortable then it may be time to find a church. If you leave anywhere near Ravenna, OH I can recommend a good one :) Good luck

Linna - posted on 04/07/2010

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Im not sure what kind of setup your church has. At my church we have a sound proof room overlooking the sanctuary. It has a speaker with volume control. Parents of small children can let them make noise and see and hear the sermon to

[deleted account]

Please find somewhere your son is welcome! He probably will act up at first, but stick to it and you will both learn and be able to worship God together! I have taken my children to church since birth and for sure there have been times it has driven me crazy and I have left feeling I received nothing from the service, but after it all it has trained my children to behave in church and understand that church is where they need to be. They know that God loves them and wants them there and now they enjoy the singing and mostly sit quietly during the sermon. It used to make me uncomfortable when they would get noisy and I would worry about disturbing others. But, our pastor and others always assured me that they didn't notice them like we (Mom and Dad) do and that they love the noise and having them there. It is a sign of an alive church! There are new members learning and growing! Also, through their reassurance I realized I was worrying about it more than others and letting myself be too distracted. It is possible to enjoy a sermon with your kids. And please understand that I mean my kids are not running around and poking others, but a little noise now and then from their seats is just kids! We sit in the back where no one notices if they jump up for a second and we can escape for a bathroom break without interrupting.

Take lots of crayons, toys, snacks and you will make it! You will see neat things grow in him as he gets older, like suddenly knowing and singing songs with you because he has been listening the whole time (I can't believe the songs my 5 yr old know and will sing with me), or knowing how to pray (my 2 yr old sits and fold his hands and prays and says amen- not always of course, he is just 2 but often! And he prays at home before dinner, it warms our hearts!), or wanting to participate in the offering (our girls always pack a few dimes now). I just firmly believe that these habits and a love for God can start young. Taking your children to church while young will make it a normal thing to them, they will learn to love being there and also because they have learned from your example seeing you there enjoying worshiping. Jesus loves the little children!

Lawanna - posted on 04/07/2010

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Go! Take your children to church no matter what age. What better place to take them. If they act up there are classes you can take them to, or take them to the bathroom for a good talking to or that spanking they might need. They will learn from example how to act by watching the other children. No one is perfect, and if anyone is judging you by how your children act then they need to get on their knees to God. I'm just saying...
God bless you. And I will see you in church with the children. (Oh and get them involved in AWANAs (like boys and girls scouts) they teach your children life lessons. I am one of those teachers and you would be amazed at how much they come to learn in those classes. I am awed by them every time.

Cecilia - posted on 04/06/2010

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No one should judge you if your child acts up. I would suggest to put him in the nursery or sit in the way back in case you need to step out. Also feeding them snacks helps keep my son quiet during service, always bring snacks good luck!

Andrea - posted on 04/06/2010

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Cheerios are great because you can give them to the child one at a time as a distraction, but try to save them or any snack for the sermon time or other quiet times. When it's time to sing and praise encourage your child to do the same - not only does it involve them in the service and teach that church does not have to be boring it is also a great way to let off a little energy.
Not all children will be able to keep quiet through and entire service or even a sermon so make sure to sit close to an exit where you can leave with the least distraction to the rest of the church. Many churches have a separate room that is not the staffed nursery, set up with a speaker or some other way for parents of young children to hear the sermon while letting them play. I think these are great and wish the church I am in now had one because my boy screams when left in the nursery and just upsets all the other children.
You can talk to the pastor about what is expected in the service. When I was growing up if our pastor heard a baby crying he would stop and thank God that he allowed the little one to be born to Christian parents that were dedicated to raise him or her in the Lord. I have been in other churches that if a peep was made the dirty looks started coming and mom had better make a hasty retreat. My 11 month old son has been "kicked" out of service for being a distraction but it is only because his daddy is the pastor and he is the only baby in the church. I was a little out of it that day and he got away from me for a minute and up on stage. For some reason Daddy thinks unplugging the speaker is unacceptable behavior : ) It really depends on the church and your child whether or not you can keep him in the service but I believe God is a God of Families and He wants your child to grow up knowing him so do whatever you feel is best to train him up in the way he should go .

Amy - posted on 04/06/2010

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I think it's important to recognize when your children become a distraction to others and take away from the message. A little bit of noise or busy-ness is fine, of course, but it's considerate to remove your noisy one when it gets to be TOO much. My church is quite large, and broadcasts the sermon on TVs in the hall, so parents can still see and hear out there. :)

[deleted account]

Jesus said,"Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them..." most churches not only encourage children in church, but want families there together worshiping God together. I love that my kids SEE me worship God and are not in a nursery far away from seeing what Mommy and Daddy do at church, they can learn how to worship from watching me and also, we bond with the closeness we have together in church, snuggling during the message and holding hands when we pray. The little ones are learning how to be a grown up by watching you be a grown up so this will help them develop a life long relationship with their Lord and habit of getting up and going to church on Sunday. I actually sit in front so my kids don't only see the back of someones head which can make kids get restless just from not being able to see what is going on up front. When pastor talks he walks too- the kids can watch him and not feel so closed in. On the other hand, sitting in back makes it easier to leave for some people- we have side doors so it's not a big deal for us.

Brenda - posted on 04/05/2010

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Take him to church my 6 month old makes noises sometimes, and if he gets fussy I take him out. One time though he was kinda giggling and just talking I tried sushing him, and when church was over I had people telling me that I should never try to correct him when he is not doing something wrong. They said he is just trying to praise the lord in his own way. You'll look back on this later and smile. That really helped me a lot so I would take him if I were you.

Justine - posted on 04/05/2010

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I've brought my son to church since he was 3 days old, I just make sure to bring books, snacks like crackers and water, and some toys that won't make too much noise if he bangs it on the pew. If the child is older a coloring book is great or their favorite toy that won't make much noise. And who cares of he acts out! He's just a child, if people can't understand that then it's their problem. If he starts to get really bad after about 5 seconds and shows no signs of calming down, just take him in the back or outside and let him unwind, that's what I do! Hope it helps!

Maggie - posted on 04/03/2010

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i would say consider finding another church. people should be so thrilled to have a child being brought to church and raised right that a little acting up shouldn't matter. children have to be trained, and that means times of noise and disruption while they are learning.

Stephanie - posted on 04/03/2010

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I say to take your little one. My husband and I attend a "kid friendly" church that has a nursery and sunday school for all ages. We have been taking our 7 week old for the past 3 weeks. I do not put her in the nursery though. Instead, my husband and I sit in an overflow room. We can worship and a take part in the message and our little one can make noise and not bother other people. She coo's alot and as long as she is not crying or fussing, we like to think that this her way talking to the Lord. When I was pregnant, she was most active during worship and seems to enjoy it now too and we do not want to take the away from her. Whether your church is kid friendly or not, do they have an overflow room or area like that where you can still take part in the service? If not, I would suggest either finding a kid friendly church or maybe suggesting to your church to become kid friendly (especially if you really like your church). You are probably not the only person there with a child or the only person who would like to bring a child. Talk with your Pastor/Priest about it and you might help others that are in your same situation.

Samantha - posted on 04/02/2010

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they aren't christians if they judge you and should ask if they think they need stones thrown at them.

Carole - posted on 04/02/2010

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Most churches have accommodations for little ones geared to their needs and interests. At 17 months it would be difficult keeping a child quiet in a church service and might be a bad experience for the child.

Alice - posted on 04/02/2010

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I think it is just you training your child for church. If we always say...wait till they're older, they will not know what to do..."train up a child..."

Monica - posted on 04/02/2010

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Thanks. I have attended churches before that had a designated section for families which was nice. My current church doesn't, and it's really a free for all. I could see bringing children in for the worship part. My kids *love* music, and have always appreciated participating in that. After that, they are taken to their classes, where sermons are more "on their level". I don't believe that essentially forcing our children to sit still and pay attention that they aren't going to get (especially as infants and toddlers) is almost cruet. Children generally don't see that as "worshiping" but, dare I say, "torture". If the church is child-friendly they should have a wonderful kids' program. The children's program at our current church far exceeds our own service. They rock it during worship and they preach it on their level. Children are also allowed to take communion in their service. I believe that if you are a believer and Christ is in you. Therefore, Christ would always be around them. I use my position as Mom to teach my children during our time away from church about God. We pray, worship, do devotionals that have lessons with them, and we talk about things in terms of what would God do. It's just as important for children to experience a Christian walk during the week as well, knowing that what we have is a personal relationship with God and have access to Him all of the time, where Sunday is a culmination of that worship. The fact that you take your children is example enough. Jesus called for the children to be brought to him. I don't feel that I'm doing them any injustice or short-changing their religious experiences by sending them to their classes. They are 6 and 8 and love going to church. Their lessons revolve around what we are discussing, just on a level they understand. It's refreshing to discuss with them on the car ride home about what they did and learned . It's great to see their faces light up when they expound on it. To each his own, but that's been my experience, and I have found it to be greatly rewarding. My suggestions? Try it out for a month. See if it doesn't make a change, for both of you. If it doesn't work out, fine. If it does, fine. I would question any church that totes being kid-friendly but doesn't have a good kid's program. When we were church "shopping" that was part of our criteria. Again, all of this is my own personal experiences and opinions.

Leila - posted on 04/01/2010

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No worries Monica - you made some good points too...it may not be a black & white answer as all children are different as each Church service, Priest/pastor and it's community will be different. As parents, we will ultimately need to make the right choice about how we worship God and how we discipline our kids (sorry to hear about being trying to be kicked by a kid!...) and no one should judge us. The young families (also our friends) tend to sit in one area of the church closest to the door & behind the Choir - which is helpful for us and other parishioners who would choose to sit there or away from us. Given I also may not hear every single word, but I am there to give God praise. Also, hopefully my hubby and I lead by example as the first teachers in our childrens' lives: Praying, Listening, Singing aloud and receiving the Body & Blood of Christ.... If it is any way encouraging, we've had many parishioners filled with joy at having children there because the little ones are closest to God.

Monica - posted on 04/01/2010

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I have mixed feelings about it. I have two children, and I have always put them in the nursery and children's Sunday school and programs. That's why churches have them because they are geared to the needs of the children. I also understand the need to want them there. My question is this though: How much are you actually getting out of the service? When I'd take my kids with me to the adult service, I found myself continuously concerned about keeping their attention with something else so that they didn't disrupt people around me that I ended up missing half the service or more. That's not good either. No matter how "kid friendly" a church is (and I don't know of any church who'd be judgmental about children), a disruption is a distraction plain and simple. I go to a large church right now where there a quite a few infants - toddlers who sit with their parents. There's feedings, conversations, negotiations, bathroom runs, etc. I spent one whole service trying to keep a toddler from walking down the pew and kicking me. The parent did nothing to prevent him, but just gave him free reign. At the risk of sounding horrid (and it's SOOOO not how I intend it), consider giving yourself permission to take your toddler to an age-appropriate class, where he/she can play and interact with their peers, thereby giving you an hour to hour-and-a-half "break" where you can go and have your soul nourished.....uninterrupted. Most churches today screen their workers and even provide you with a number. If you're needed, your # is posted on a wall or screen, and you are able to go and see to the needs. I think by doing so, you'll feel rejuvenated. I hope that's

Leila - posted on 04/01/2010

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Hi Tiffany!
It is wonderful you are wanting to share your faith with your little one at Church. I go to Church regularly with hubby and kids, and have 3 children aged 1, 2 and 3 yrs old. We are blessed to go to a 'child-friendly' Church and the blessings from bringing them to Chuch every week is that there are plenty of 'Aunties' and 'Uncles' that are so happy to have a hold and quietly have one on their lap or feed a snack. Given we are there to praise God, I feel I am there to thank God for the blessing of family and to give me strength as a mother. There is always the foyer or outside garden area if a child is unsettled. They receive a blessing from the Priest and feel happy that we share our Catholic faith as a family.
God bless you always...

[deleted account]

go. =) i have gone to soo many church that are happy to look over any child's misbehaving(as long as their parents are trying to derect them) i remember one pastor saying oh that little one is a loud one some day no one will be able to look away! (our son was 9months i think) some churches have a daycare/ serves car that will keep Your little one busy and omferted as You are away. but it would be so good for You and the baby to go. it will be hard at first for him(?) to get in the the idea of wanting to go but most kids get used to it and love beign able to be around other kids their age. =)

Yolanda - posted on 04/01/2010

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There are two ways you can make it work. One, find a Church that has lots of families with young children or is "kid friendly" like some of the others have said. Then, you won't be the only one worried about your little one. Two, find a Church that has a nursery, and if you are uncomfortable with it at first, just ask if you can stay in the nursery for a bit and watch what they do with the kids. Church nurseries have to be professionally run and most Churches even have a police check policy for insurance purposes these days. Which means, it's a safe place for your child to play while you worship God! I find it much less distracting to put my son in the nursery where he will get the attention he needs, so that God will get my undivided attention too! ;)

Kim - posted on 03/31/2010

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I have always taken my children to church with me. Jesus loves kids so the church should as well. If the church is not open to having children there it might be time to find one that does. Children who are raised attending church with adults I feel have a more balanced outlook on life.

Jen - posted on 03/31/2010

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id take a risk and go
you might be surprised how well you are received even if he does play up
most churches have a creche too :)

Tiffany - posted on 03/31/2010

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Thank you for all the help everyone! I'm going to take him and pray that God will help me to keep him quiet...I will let everyone know how it goes.

Sarah - posted on 03/31/2010

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Find a church that is kid friendly. My kids would always sit with us for church from the time they were newborns. At times they would act up and cry or make too loud of a noise. If we could not get them to be quite within a few seconds to 1 min. then we would simply walk out. When I felt they were calm enough to go back in and not make noise we would go back in. A kid friendly church is not going to make a fus for those occasional disruptions. They understand that a child may not sit quitely through the whole church service. A church with lots of young kids will have other families that will also step out if their child is acting up.

Lauren - posted on 03/30/2010

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do they have a church nursery? What about a family driven faith church?They encourage children in the services.

Heather - posted on 03/30/2010

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Talk with the pastor at the church. See what he says. If your son isn't welcome there, I would suggest finding a new church, but my guess is that you will be encouraged to bring your son with you. Most churches love kids.

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