Does anyone go without masturbation married or not?

User - posted on 11/05/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I dont like talking about personal issues but I just wonder if I am alone on this or not. I myself do not like to do it because I feel crappy about doing it during and afterward. I dont have thoughts about anyone even my hubby, just myself, but non the less I still feel dirty to do so. I have worked very hard to not have thoughts in which will tempt me to do so and I do have long periods (months) of not having the urge to do so. It never fails though that eventually it will occur, whether awake or asleep. I cant seem to get away from it. I feel terrible though because I feel like a let the Lord down and also my husband, that sexual things should just be between me and him.
Am I being to hard on myself, do I need to continue on this path to try not to do so? Oh and I didnt mention, my hubby and I do not have intercourse often at all, we both do not have high sex drives, Im not sure how to fix that, but even if we did, how do I keep from this happening?

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User - posted on 11/07/2013

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lol Im only 24 and mine is almost nonexistent, I guess where ever you are on the spectrum there is still the temptation to do this. Thats why I added that last line in, even if we are more "active" it will still happen. You all are right, and to tell ya the truth when we first had our child almost 3 yrs ago we would go 6 or more months without being intimate. Now its like every other month or three, so I suppose we have improved some. And thinking back I know I didnt help myself hardly ever and now it is more often. It makes me feel the more intimate you are, the more temptation to want it more comes with it. I do need to talk to him, Im sure he will be happy to improve upon our relationship, especially since we would love to have another baby.
That why question is a good question. He put everything on our body for a reason, and surely that place is simply for pleasure. The mans is to release his seed, but a womans... is not. For a man and wife to come together, maybe he thought they both needed to feel the same, to have a common, equal ground so to speak. lol thats just my thought on it, but it is something to wonder about for sure

Carla - posted on 11/07/2013

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You are right, Angela, of course. And I am looking back at the time when I was in my 20-30s, because that is where I think most of our young women are. And I don't know if there was something wrong with ME, because our intimate life took place every night (the first couple years multiple times a night), and I STILL found myself with straying fingers.

This is one of those issues that I am going to add to the list of 'Why's' to ask God when I get to Heaven. And according to the OT, they were commanded to abstain until the 15th day of your cycle. I seriously don't know how they got ANY work done the last half of your cycle ;) This command is how we know God took having children a blessing, as we know our ovulation time is between the last two weeks. People had BIG families back then, and from what I can gather from my own personal experiences, taking care of a big family didn't leave much time to get into mischief. But I wander from the topic.

As Angela says, we need to be honest with our husbands, which is sometimes a tricky thing. Men's egos are extremely delicate, and this issue (if there is a lack of fulfillment) needs to be handled with prayer and wisdom. We have found, especially since we have both truly committed ourselves to the Lord, that being honest in our needs is often MORE difficult, because we don't want to pressure or guilt our spouse into anything. My husband is sometimes overly solicitous over my health. We just had a little sit-down over this very subject. But God is good, and our talk went well. I think he was relieved ;)

God bless, ladies, I love the talks we have!

Carla - posted on 11/06/2013

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Well, let's be frank, Stacy, as long as you are or have been sexually active, the thought crosses your mind.

We just go through this life the best we can. As long as we are in a fleshly temple, the temptations are there. Thank GOD He is there to direct our paths.

User - posted on 11/06/2013

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Thanks! I feel that way too, but sometimes I catch myself doubting my thoughts. Its nice to have scripture there to lead us in the right direction, Im so thankful for that, idk where id be without it. And so amazing every time I read it something new comes my way.
The bad thing is about this, it is soo hard to get away from, thats why I wondered if anyone could truly go without, I guess its possible but I have not met anyone who hasnt.

Carla - posted on 11/06/2013

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I am with you, Stacy, I feel guilty. I am extremely fortunate to have found a husband (after having one who didn't know a woman's body AT all) who STILL makes my toes curl ;)

I think we have to take a page out of Paul's writings. He said if a thing feels like sin, even if it isn't, per se, don't do it, cuz it will be sin to you. We have had a similar conversation with women who feel they shouldn't wear pants. They feel strongly that it's a sin, so if they were to wear pants, it would be sin to them. Some people feel it's all right to have a drink every now and then, some don't. My grama used to say 'lips that have touched wine will not touch mine'. So to her, it WAS sin.

God deals with each of us differently. You have to get it straight between you and He, then walk in it, or don't, whichever the case. Make sense?

God bless, baby

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