Foster Parenting

Ruth - posted on 08/31/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am interested in foster parenting and was wondering if any of you have done this. I just wanted to know how it worked out for your family, things to watch out for, the struggles, the blessings.
I have 2 small girls and I don't know that I want to do it now, but maybe some time in the future. I guess my biggest concern is how it impacted your family, and did you feel you still have enought time and energy to give all your kids at the end of the day. Thanks for any imput.

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Maria - posted on 08/31/2010

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My husband and I are foster parents. We have had a couple sets of teen moms (and their babies) live with us. The first actually came to live with us while I was pregnant with my first child, so I haven't had much time with just my own children. It is tough sometimes and you do get worn out sometimes (but don't all our children do that to us on occasion!). Children in foster care are there because they have had proper parenting in the past, and therefore usually have some issues that need to be worked through.
If you and your family feel like God is leading you to become a foster parent, he will give you the stregth, time and energy to make it work. Yes, it has required some sacrifice on my part. But the kids are worth it, they deserve love!
We got trained through a Christian foster/adoption agency and that has been good. Also realise that foster kids are grouped into different categories based on their needs and you get to choose how much you are willing/able to take on. You also get to choose what age/sex/race of kids you are willing to foster.
Someone mentioned foster-to-adopt - at least in my state (TX), while there are a lot of kids out there that are adoptable, there are plenty out there who are not adoptable and just need foster parents...

I don't know if I answered any of your questions... but I tried :-)

Stephanie Jo - posted on 08/31/2010

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I haven't,but I know people that have and it has been great for them. Ups and downs just like w/a regular family.

Heather - posted on 08/31/2010

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We have friends that are planning on becoming foster parents. In the state we live in they prefer all foster families to be potential foster to adopt families as it is better for the kids instead of them being fostered and then moved again repeatedly until they are either returned to the parents or adopted. My friends aren't able to have their own children, so they are looking forward to it.

Part of the reason the state switched this is because of the number of foster families that were just fostering children to get the states money. They would foster as many children as possible so they didn't have to work. It was sickening. I personally think it was an awesome switch, and hope that there are families willing to foster to adopt.

I doubt that helps you, but you might need to check with your state to see if they do regular fostering, unless you are willing to adopt should that arise.

Jamie - posted on 08/31/2010

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My aunt and uncle had foster children for 10 years. They also had 3 kids of their own at the time. There was never a negative impact on their children, but all the foster kids they had were under the age of 4. So I could not tell you about what impact older children might have since they tend to have more baggage... maybe none though. Anyway, the only "problems" they had was sometimes they had kids for up to a year, and they became incredibly attached to them, and when someone adopted them it was really hard on my aunt and uncle. The hardest part though was twice they had newborn babies whose mother's had done drugs while pregnant so the foster babies were going through cocaine withdraws, and it was horrible!!!! I personally witnessed those two babies suffering it could make anyone sob! The worst part though was they gave one baby back to it's mother, and she left it alone for 2 days. When they found Jordan he was almost starved to death. Anyway, my aunt and uncle adopted both of the newborns. Jordan and Daivd are INCREDIBLE. They would tell you that foster parenting was one of the greatest things they ever did. I think it's incredibly noble. Sometimes you are the ONLY stability in these kids lives. I personally want to adopt. My parents, and aunt and uncle have and I just love it! I hope that helps!

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