I'm having a hard time attending our church!

Crystal - posted on 01/31/2009 ( 60 moms have responded )

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We attend a really small church! There is about 150 to 200 that attend!

Maybe smaller at times! They don't have much for our kid's there except Sunday mornings! Wednesday and Sunday nights I don't usually attend because the kid's fight in the pews I have 5, and usually I'm stuck back in the nursery room alone with me and my children not getting to hear the service anyway! I feel irritated and upset at times! I know I have developed a really bad attitude towards this church and I don't know how to get passed it? I would get involved in the music part of it but it's blue grass and my desire isn't really there and I' m just not crazy about the praise and worship! It's been 2 years back now and I understand why God has brought us back here to this church. My husband just lost his mother 3 weeks ago and his dad is by his self having a hard time! All my husbands family most of them attend there!

I feel the Lord brought us back 2 years ago because it was to face what was coming in the future which we are experiencing now. I know that we don't understand God's ways all the time and that his ways are higher than ours, but I'm feeling very dry in my spirit and there seems like there is no desire what so ever! I get more desire alone with my Savior at home! My husband and I have talked openly and he feels the same way ! He's frustrated about our kid's not really having a chance to grow in this church , and his desire with in the body of this church is slim as well ,but God seems to be directing us to stay here for a while! Does anyone have any advice on how we can cope with this situation , and could you all say a prayer for our family during this crazy time? God told us not to move to the left nor to the right ! We are obeying, but it is very hard!!!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

Does your church have small study groups? I always find it easy to get lost in a crowd, but at a small group I get to participat and be a part of the activities. Maybe start a family oriented group. Depending on what you like either have studies that the children can sit in on or have a teen of the church babysit and have everyone chip in a couple dollars. It isn't always easy or comfortable, but it has been good for me in the past. Maybe you've tried this already, but if God is saying to stay where you are then He has also provided a solution. I'll keep you in my prayers, that you'll see the answer God is providing.

Treena - posted on 01/31/2009

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Hello my sister in Christ, First of all I am praying for you because I to have been in this same kind of situation. I first want to tell you do not get out of church. If you have felt the Lords pull on not leaving then dont leave!! Church was not designed for us to attend and say, "ok God what are you going to teach me today?, or "What kind of message are we going to hear today!" Church was designed for us to enter those doors and say "How may I bless you today Lord?" You being there is ablessing to him. YOU are doing exately what he has you doing today. The next thing is God's word says Where your treasure is there your heart will be also. Pray each day that he will turn your heart towards your church and the people in it. As hard as it seems try doing something special for one person each week or one area in the church and your heart will find joy, I promise. I will continue to pray for you and would love a update anytime. Count me as a prayer warrior on your side.!!!!

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Tamara - posted on 03/13/2009

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Have you ever thought about checking out other area churches to see what children's programs they offer during mid-week services?   My family is in a very similar situation to you now (little ones/no nursery on Sun. nights/etc.), but we came from a much different situation where our former church was HUGE and had much to offer during all service times.  We had many families who attended other smaller churches w/ out all the programs but brought their kids to the mid-week programs. 



I know it's hard!  Keep praying and seeking God's will.  Either he will bring other families to the church causing the need for more children's programs to be offered, or he will lead you to find another church that will offer what you need, at least at this stage of your life.

[deleted account]

There's a really good book called "parenting in the pew" by Robbie Castleman. I read it and it really helped. If you feel God is telling you to stay there, then the best thing for you to do would be to find ways to lower your resentment, so you can open yourself back up to learning what He's trying to teach you. Maybe you could also talk to the other members of the congregation and come up with some more kid-friendly programs to get your kids interested in worshiping God too? I hope that helps, and I'll be praying for you.

[deleted account]

Lots of prayer for discernment!! besides that, I'd love to help. My husband is the pastor of a small church & maybe I can give you a different perspective. When our kids were small we went to both large (over 1,000 people) & small (35 people). We've been involved in ministry in many places. Our 2 sons are now grown & gone, 23 & 20. Check out my profile & contact me if you'd like. T

Tiffany - posted on 03/12/2009

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I am having the same problem. My whole life I attended Calvary Chapel of Chino Hills, once I moved to Arizona, I wasn't satisfied with any churches near my house. I did find a Calvery Chapel in our area but now I'm in this rut, the devil definately doesn't want me to get back into a church. Every time we decided to go to church something happens. I'm tired of making excuses, I'm tired of my husband planning sidejobs on weekends. We need to get back into church. I'll be praying for you and your family!

Tami - posted on 03/12/2009

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I give you a lot of praise for asking others to help you. That is what we as Christians do. If you really feel that this is the church for you, you need to talk to the people involved in the church and find some way of childcare. If this church wants their church to grow, your children should be first priority. They are the ones who will continue your church to grow. If they have a nursery, there should be someone to watch the kids and some classes for them to attend. I am sure that if you voice your concerns, your church will react accordingly. If not, that just may be god's answer to your prayer. You may need to look elsewhere.
Don't be afraid to voice your opinion. Most people in the church are willing to step out so you can grow in your Christian faith. Most mommies understand and have been there. I think it is most important that you listen to these clues, because your kids watch you and mimmick you. If you are not solid in faith, you could pass this down. I just moved up north and we are trying to stay going to church. I can't seem to find one that is similar to our old one. I miss it. But, I am much happier up here. I have a 6 month old that is very demanding and I miss a lot because I nurse him. I try to feed him right before I get there and then he should be fine without my help while we are there. I also need my time ALONE. Sounds like you need it too!!!! I pray that you hear God's answers though it may not be what you think. I pray that God speaks to you daily and keeps you strong (us moms REALLY NEED HELP) xxoo Christian Mommy

[deleted account]

Start a children's ministry at this church with your husband.  It will cause your children to be spiritually fed, as well as yourselves as you will have to prepare lessons to teach them.  It will also draw other families with small children who you could enlist to rotate schedules and cause a network of new spiritually led friends to join your circle.  Pray and see if this is what the Lord would have you to do and then speak with the pastor and leadership for their support as well.  Good luck.

Jackie - posted on 03/10/2009

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I agree with the others. Try starting a childrens program on Wednesday. Get neighborhood kids to come or kids from school to join the program. There are many out there. Patch the Pirate. Master Club, Kings Kids or create your own. Ususally Sunday evening they sit in church. Sunday morning they are usually in sunday school and Jr. Church. I know it is hard. You kids will attract other kids if you use it as a tool and don't see it as a misery.

Tonja - posted on 03/09/2009

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I know you said that it is a small church but maye you can split the kids up with some family members helping you out during service.  Maybe they could take one each and them you and your husband can split their seats up.  Our church is really big but one thing we do is have papers for the kids to do during church that goes along with the service with pictures to color and little puzzles.  Hope things get better for you and your family.  In our prayers, Tonja

Joleen - posted on 03/09/2009

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I hear your cry.  My family and I have also been at those cross roads.  Just keep your faith in him he will move and direct you in the path you need to go.  One thing I have come to remember is I go to church for God and knowone else.  And I try to always go to worship expecting God to move.  Putting my heart in the right mind set of it's all about him and then I see Gods hand work and move in my life.  I will be praying for you because I truely know what you are going through and it is hard.  But God is bigger and he loves us.  Keep the faith.  Love in Christ  Joleen

Lystra - posted on 03/09/2009

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God put you there to make a difference.He sent you there because He has work for you to do.Is there a children's ministry?a music ministry?a praise and worship team?maybe you could volunteer in one of these areas so you could bless others and also share the love of the Lord with them.Your children would also learn that they should not get fed up and leave the church when challenges arise.Together you can pray as a family for the Lord to show you exactly what He wants you to do.Be blessed

Danielle - posted on 03/08/2009

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I attend a SUPER small church with only about 25 parishoners (very rural area).  My three kids make up half the kids in the church.  We do not have a "quiet" room and I spend a lot of time getting my 4 & 6 year old to be quiet.  I am happy to say that my 9 year old really does take part now and I remind myself that it will only be a couple of years and the other two will be at that place too.  Remember that it is not WHERE you celebrate God's love...it is that you DO!  You are setting a great example for your children and giving them ties to the church that will live in their heart forever.  Keep reminding yourself of all of the blessings that you have been given and be happy to have a place where you can worship - some do not have it and would love to.  I pray that you will find peace with your choices.  Best of luck!

Danielle - posted on 03/08/2009

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I attend a SUPER small church with only about 25 parishoners (very rural area).  My three kids make up half the kids in the church.  We do not have a "quiet" room and I spend a lot of time getting my 4 & 6 year old to be quiet.  I am happy to say that my 9 year old really does take part now and I remind myself that it will only be a couple of years and the other two will be at that place too.  Remember that it is not WHERE you celebrate God's love...it is that you DO!  You are setting a great example for your children and giving them ties to the church that will live in their heart forever.  Keep reminding yourself of all of the blessings that you have been given and be happy to have a place where you can worship - some do not have it and would love to.  I pray that you will find peace with your choices.  Best of luck!

Candy - posted on 03/08/2009

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After reading all these replies. I guess I should be thankful. altrnating weeks my church has the children come sit on the floor with the preist after the gospel, and he talks with them. Then on the other weeks, the children and some parents go downstairs for an abriveted childrens word then we go upstairs and join in for commuion. there was a mom and tots group on thursday mornings, thats dried up and moved to Sunday after mass, during the coffe social. But then I see other churches that have moms connectons , mom prayer groups, moms day out - and wonder why dosn't our church have this Mom Support ?

Tara - posted on 03/06/2009

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Crystal, 



You really do have your hands full and I agree with your husband that taking on more responsibility in church is not in the cards for you at this juncture.  It is not what you seem to be saying you are longing for anyway.  I have been at that stage where I spent my time in the nursery, missing the service in its entirety, and having negative feelings about attending.  I thought to myself, "If I'm just knocking myself out to get there as it is only to do nothing but care for my children the whole time, I can do that at home.  I thought about leaving and trying to find a church that served MY needs many times.  I so desired to feel connected with the Lord and my brothers and sisters in Christ when I attended church.  I felt alone.  I see by all these replies that I certainly was not and nor are you.



I hung in there and am so glad I did.  I realized that there is no church out there that will fulfill my every need at every moment in time.  This is not to say that you shouldn't feel the way you do right now, and I completely understand your frustration.  Your church will slowly die if they don't realize their need to embrace the next generation.  You are a great witness right now to your children and doing exactly what you should be doing for them and also in your support of your husband and his family.



The best thing to come along at my church was more babies.  We had an explosion of babies that forced change in our church.  We brought on a pastor of family ministries.  Our church has more young people now with many different activities going on throughout the week in addition to Sundays.  Families are supporting one another and listening to each other's needs and responding.  It's not perfect, but change did come.  If you feel the Lord telling you to be still, trust Him and wait on Him.  He always has plans that are better than anything we could have come up with anyway.  You are on the right track and have a great group of prayer warriors here on your side.  I hope for the sake of your church that those in leadership will see the need to soften their hearts and look on all people regardless of age or ability as children of God and worthy of being there and loved for who they are.  Hang in there.   



 



 

Ginger - posted on 03/06/2009

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Seek out and proclaim God's promises! Speaking His word into existence in your church. Remind Him that you are being obediant and ask Him to show you what He would have you do. I have been through a church split in the last 8 months and its rough. The youth program was part of the argument. However, in the bible Jesus tells his disciples not to run the children off (para phrasing) but to bring them to Him. We have to bring our children to Him. The word Hope as defined in either the Greek/Hebrew (cant rem which) is positive thought with an expected end. Not just wishing, but expecting God!

Jessica - posted on 03/05/2009

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Hi Crystal! My name is Jessica and I can relate to your issues. I am a preacher's wife at a small church. It was funny to me that you said your church was small with 150-200 members. We have 50 on a good day! I have 3 kids who are 10, 8, and 11 months. We have Sunday school classes for them before the worship hour, and we have Wednesday night classes for them during Bible study. Sunday worship hour and Sunday evening service, you are on your own. My older two do fine now (they have both been coming to services since they were just days old), but my little one always has to be taken out. I also end up in the nursery alone. We do have a speaker in there so I hear bits and pieces. What I would suggest is maybe you or your husband talk to whoever is in charge of such things and ask if there is any way they would begin more programs for kids. It's important to keep their interest and teach them some Bible in ways they will understand. There are probably other parents who feel the same who might be willing to speak to the "powers that be" with you. Just a thought. Good luck!

Tammy - posted on 03/04/2009

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Crystal,

I am going through something similar and it this is not the first time. Our children are the only children in the church, the pastor is leaving, one of the children's ministries teachers (and there were only 2!) is leaving to go with them and most everyone in the church is over retired (some even in their 80's/90's).....yet God wants us there. The pastor will be starting a church in the area so some of the congregation will be going with him but we feel that God wants us to stay. It is very frustrating when there is not a teacher for Children's Church and I have to be down there to teach them when I already home school them....so why didn't I just stay home anyway?! Enough about my situation, but something the Lord has shown me is that we have it pretty good. In some countries they cannot even worship freely and just because the situation is hard does not mean He could not want me there. Daniel was called into a lion's den! Had it not happened, God would not have been glorified.



So, I would encourage you that there is a reason you are there, ask the Lord what His purpose is. Ask the Lord to help you meet new friends. Are there other young mothers? If so, could you start a small group Bible study with them and meet at someone's home so you have people to pray with or a mom's group so you can get away from the children and get into the Word? If there are others, it seems you could be meeting a need while getting your own needs met. Is there any reason you could not talk to the pastor or church leaders and tell them that you think if they did a few things that the church may grow....such as having other kinds of music for worship. Even churches who have had traditional worship will sometimes add in praise choruses if they think it will appeal to more people. Is it possible the church is small for some of the reasons you mentioned? Maybe the Lord is using you to help open their eyes on how to reach the community. My philosophy is if I have to be here, I might as well try and make it a place I don't mind coming. It does not always work, but if nobody speaks up or tries then it will always be the same. How you can improve the situation depends on how many other people are in your situation. Also, if you do not have other moms there to get to know, maybe trying to find a way to reach out into the community to get moms to come visit would serve God's purposes as well as your need for fellowship. They will never be able to minister to other families like yourself if nobody has a call to get it started nor will they know how to meet their needs without help from someone who has been there. Can you hear the message if you are out of the sanctuary? Do they have a speaker system? A friend of mine, used a baby monitor to hear the message while she and I were nursing our infants at our previous church. It was an inexpensive solution to a situation we were motivated to fix, but had little support in doing. I hope that helps some. God bless you and remember whatever you can do to meet your needs is important, but also be sure your children are learning and growing in the word, too.



May the Lord help you to be fed through prayer, the Word and support from others in the church body.....even if you have to create an opportunity in your current situation where you can grow.

Melinda - posted on 03/04/2009

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My advice is stick with it. Your feelings toward church may be due to your frustrations. Why don't you ask your church to put a speaker in the nursery so you can hear or arrange child care. Our church is much smaller than yours and I know the difficulties children can bring in church. Do what you feel God is leading you to do and ask him to help you, Even ask someone you trust to go to the nursery with your kids sometimes so you can have that break or get a sitter. Hope this helps

Brooke - posted on 03/04/2009

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My husband and I attended a church several years ago that was VERY small also. I was always in the nursing room and never really heard the Word ( what was being preached was hypocritical  from the pastor too) I felt like I was dying spiritually. I shared with my husband and together we spent timein prayer about this. Thankfully, God moved us on. We went back to the church my husband grew up in. Way bigger........one of the biggest in the Southern Baptist Convention. This has opened the door for our kids to be involved and has opened the door for my husband and I to both teach Sunday School.  I encourage you and your husband to be in prayer TOGETHER about where God would have your family to worship. Many blessings.........

Peggy - posted on 03/04/2009

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My time is limited so I have not been able to read all these beautiful replies. My kids are grown. I got saved when I was a single mom with 5 kids so I really understand.

Christ has to be paramount and we are called to be loving servants to each other. Having said that we also need the fellowship and encouragement of Christ's people and sometimes it just can't happen at the church. It is not that no one cares, it's just the time is limited. Is there someone you can have over to fellowship with? Is there any "MOMS" groups. You know a group of mom's who may go to a variety of churches but love Jesus and want to fellowship around play days?

Father, I ask that you help my sister find real fellowship and encouragement. When she is full she will be able to encourage others, in Jesus Name.

Jenny - posted on 03/03/2009

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Hi Crystal,



this is a toughy but not impossible.  Iv been a mum for almost 22yrs and one of my biggest regrets is giving up on taking my kids to church because i felt it was pointless just sitting in church creche.  BUT ITS NOT POINTLESS.  As a christian mum we have a responsibility to take our kids to church even if we spend the whole time in creche.  This doesn't last forever but its vital to instil into ur kids that Sundays are about spending time with God & Gods people in HIS house.. Just be there to support other mums and new mums who come into creche too.  Having 5 kids fills u with a wealth of knowledge and experience that newer mums don't have.  Also Invest this time in making ur kids aware of their surroundings so they feel at home and safe in Gods house.  If you're faithful to God he will be faithful to you and he will either change you or the other stuff that ur unhappy with in ur church. Or he could use you to change some stuff, like developing other activities for the kids in ur church!!!!!!  Trust God in this cus he is in control.......'Be still and know that I am God'... God bless u sister. Jenny xo

Claire - posted on 02/11/2009

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hello iam going tho the same and my husband thinks the same as your but my church has about 40 people in our little area and my boy 2 and run around like mad but he quiet while he does it lol,all i can say is there was noise when jesus spoke,stay faithfull to gods and what he is saying proverds 22:6

Gina - posted on 02/10/2009

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Dearest Crystal,  I hope some of what I have to say will encourage you.  I am part of a small church too, one that takes place in my church families home.  We are a small group of about 50, mostly children.  What drove us to begin this "church" is the separation of the family in the modern church.  I don't want to dissuade you from the church you are currently attending, but to point out it isn't the size or the building, it is the service, worship, and fellowship of your church family that matters.  Are you encouraging each other?  Are you growing spiritually?  Are you using your spiritual gifts?  These are important questions that only you can answer.  If you feel God led you to this church, than wait for His leading away from the church.  Also remember the scripture. ..be content in all things....Hang in there and enjoy it.  Look for good family devotions to teach your children at home and this will also give your husband a spiritual leadership opportunity to minister to you and your children.  Keep the faith, keep on pressing on, He is on your side.  Blessings to you and your family, Gina

Shelly - posted on 02/05/2009

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Crystal,



  Hows the desert?  B/c hone thats were the Lord has you right now I can't tell you what it is that he is trying to teach you but maybe you need to try studying Deuteronomy.  And see if that can give you some guidance while you go through this spiritial desert.  God has big plans for you and your family...I'm glad to hear that you are truely seeking the Lord and not just sitting back waiting for him to fix it.  It's very easy to get caught in that trap.  May the Lord give you the answers that you seek.  I will continue to pray for you, your family, and your church leadership....Many blessings to you

Coral - posted on 02/04/2009

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I might suggest this:



http://www.bsfinternational.org/Classes/...



BSF could be a great tool for you so that you don't have to desire leaving your church.  Maybe you are supposed to be with your children in the nursery so your husband can suuport his grieving family for this season.  With BSF you can still be wonderfully and genuinely fed the Word.  You'll have to check out the class nearest you to see about child care but I know my Wed morning group has it for 2 yrs +.  Just a thought.



I'm in a tough situation myself with my church of 27 yrs so I know it can be painful.  Hang in there, pray and talk to your husband.  I know he's hurting but you should be his priority.



God bless you and your family.

Crystal - posted on 02/04/2009

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Quoting Elizabeth:



If you truly feel that this is where you are supposed to be for now, then all you can do is to perservere. In my experience I have grown the most (without realizing it ) when things have seemed really dry (spiritually). It takes great faith and strength to Praise God when were are not inspired and things are not easy. Keep fighting the good fight, and soldier on sister. God will lead you where he wants you.  You and your family are in my prayers.





Hey Elizabeth! God will lead his people where he wants them to be, that is true! He will give them the right place and the right answers! I thank you so much for your help! Thanks Crystal!!!   : )

Crystal - posted on 02/04/2009

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Quoting Janae:



It really sound like you are disconnected from this church. My husband and I have went through the same kind of situation and we were seperated b/c God was moving us to another church.  When you pray, ask God to direct you to the right church. Ask him to give you discernment and that you be sensitive to the Holy Spirit so that it can help you find where you are to be. Or maybe th enemy is trying to use your frustration to turn you away from where you are supposed to be. In any case I wouldn't make a definite decision until instructed by the Lord.God Bless you. I'll be praying for you.





Hey Janae! I agree with you we need a definite answer on where and what it is that God wants, and I know I just have to be patient and realize that! My husband and I are thinking of going on a fast to get some solid answers! My husband is wanting to attend a Bible College and maybe that is a change in the future for us because it is some place else other than here in the state of Missouri. Or you could be right and it's just I've let my frustration get the better of me??? I just know we need to do some major praying! Thanks for your advice Janae, and also thank you too for your prayers!!!  : ) Crystal

Crystal - posted on 02/04/2009

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Quoting Cherie:



Have you spoken with someone about it in leadership? This is a common problem. Lots of churches build everything around adults, but it much easier and productive to pour into the children and surrounding ministries. Maybe they need someone to oversee their nursery or children's ministries. Another thought is actually training your children at home to sit still for church services. Maybe that sounds far fetched, but it can be done. Most things children learn at home will be acted out in public. I bet your children are fully capable of doing that. Also, you could find other families within the church and rotate the evening services.





Yeah! I'm finding out that it's a common problem in most churches! I've been to churches when I 1st got saved that everyone would greet you at the door with a hug and everyone would be at the door and greet you with another hug before you leave! That was when I was in my Junior year of highschool and 3 states away from me in the state of Arizona. I miss it! I'm wondering in this church where is the love, not just for the youth especially, but for anyone who walks through those doors?



It's just not there. It's like this pastor wants it to fall, or he's tired of it? We have had many people especially in my husbands family fighting for change and they have been kicked down on any suggestions we feel would help this church to survive and grow. All my husband and I can do is pray!



I think we need a major fasting going on!!!   :  ) Thanks for your prayers! Crystal

Crystal - posted on 02/04/2009

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Quoting Melinda:

I don't have any words of advice, just a giggle. My church has an average of 200 people, and it is considered a "medium" church. Small to me is 10-40 people, usually the small country churches that my dad preached in.

Hugs,
Melinda


Hey Melinda! It is a small out in the country church! The one down the road has about 2000 parking cars in the parking lot and I really think that's big too! Thank you so much for the giggle you made my day!!! : ) Crystal

Crystal - posted on 02/04/2009

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Quoting Kris:



     Just because God leads you to a place and tells you to stay, does not have to mean that change is not going to happen! I was a new Christian (two years saved), and our church split. Our Pastor was asked to resign because of infadelity in his marriage. I was devistated!! ALL my family left the church! My husband and I didn't know what to do. I didn't feel we were grown up in Christ enough to be able to handle all the craziness, or to make the correct decision. But God told us to "Be Still" and we did. We stood, feeling alone. For months we cried and prayed, and prayed and cried, but we did not leave! Five years later, we are still there. With a new Pastor, new staff, new paint, new children's class rooms, a new youth center, new Youth Pastors, and we (my husband and I) are the new assistants to the Children's Pastor. We now have a children's ministry that has grown to over 80 kids just the ages of 6-12. I am so happy we stayed!! Maybe God wants you to be there to be leaders in whatever adventure may be coming! Go to church. Put on your best smile. Keep your mind open, and teach those babies of yours (and anyone else's) about God and being obedient.





Hey Kris! Thanks for your prayers! I think your right there could be some change going to take place sometime! When I don't know? My husband and I are thinking of going on a fast to get more clearer answers and directions on what is going on. I am sorry too that you had to go through a split they are very rough to go through, but I am glad that everything has worked out for your family! Thank you again! Crystal : )

Elizabeth - posted on 02/03/2009

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If you truly feel that this is where you are supposed to be for now, then all you can do is to perservere. In my experience I have grown the most (without realizing it ) when things have seemed really dry (spiritually). It takes great faith and strength to Praise God when were are not inspired and things are not easy. Keep fighting the good fight, and soldier on sister. God will lead you where he wants you.  You and your family are in my prayers.

Janae - posted on 02/03/2009

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It really sound like you are disconnected from this church. My husband and I have went through the same kind of situation and we were seperated b/c God was moving us to another church.  When you pray, ask God to direct you to the right church. Ask him to give you discernment and that you be sensitive to the Holy Spirit so that it can help you find where you are to be. Or maybe th enemy is trying to use your frustration to turn you away from where you are supposed to be. In any case I wouldn't make a definite decision until instructed by the Lord.God Bless you. I'll be praying for you.

Cherie - posted on 02/03/2009

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Have you spoken with someone about it in leadership? This is a common problem. Lots of churches build everything around adults, but it much easier and productive to pour into the children and surrounding ministries. Maybe they need someone to oversee their nursery or children's ministries. Another thought is actually training your children at home to sit still for church services. Maybe that sounds far fetched, but it can be done. Most things children learn at home will be acted out in public. I bet your children are fully capable of doing that. Also, you could find other families within the church and rotate the evening services.

Kris - posted on 02/03/2009

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     Just because God leads you to a place and tells you to stay, does not have to mean that change is not going to happen! I was a new Christian (two years saved), and our church split. Our Pastor was asked to resign because of infadelity in his marriage. I was devistated!! ALL my family left the church! My husband and I didn't know what to do. I didn't feel we were grown up in Christ enough to be able to handle all the craziness, or to make the correct decision. But God told us to "Be Still" and we did. We stood, feeling alone. For months we cried and prayed, and prayed and cried, but we did not leave! Five years later, we are still there. With a new Pastor, new staff, new paint, new children's class rooms, a new youth center, new Youth Pastors, and we (my husband and I) are the new assistants to the Children's Pastor. We now have a children's ministry that has grown to over 80 kids just the ages of 6-12. I am so happy we stayed!! Maybe God wants you to be there to be leaders in whatever adventure may be coming! Go to church. Put on your best smile. Keep your mind open, and teach those babies of yours (and anyone else's) about God and being obedient.

Shelly - posted on 02/03/2009

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Crystal,



  If God has let you know that you are were he wants you then don't question him maybe you need to go to the pastor and pastors wife and try and set up a childrens church that the mothers in the church can rotate on teaching.  Maybe this is one of the things that God needs you to do while he has you there.  He also cares about the babys and he wants them to know him too...you need to find possitive things in the church...as far as you not liking the worship because it;s not your style...well guess what it's not about you it's about worshiping the Lord and thats what it should be about 100% of the time!!! It's not about what you desire it's about what the Lord desires!!! You need to look within your self and figure out why you are feeling so dry.  God has given you a direction and it is up to you on were you want to take it.  And it sounds to me like you need to get rid of some resentment towards your in-laws.  Maybe God is having you stay there to resolve issues within yourself...I don't know the entire story but you need to seek deep in your heart to figure out why your having the feelings your having..What ever you decided to do don't allow your feelings to get in the way...I will keep you in my prayers and ask the Lord to give you clear direction.

[deleted account]

I don't have any words of advice, just a giggle. My church has an average of 200 people, and it is considered a "medium" church. Small to me is 10-40 people, usually the small country churches that my dad preached in.



Hugs,

Melinda

Crystal - posted on 02/02/2009

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Quoting Mandy:

I'm sorry you are having to go through this. I would pray over it until you feel an answer from the Lord. Can you and your husband take turns with the kids? Then you could fill each other in on the sermon. Is there a womens group you belong to. maybe you could bring it up to the other women about getting some kind of childrens Sunday school started and all take turns with them. I will pray for you. Please keep us posted. Mandy


 



Thank you Mandy! We are praying and will continue! I thank all of you for your prayers !



                                                                                                            -Crystal-

Crystal - posted on 02/02/2009

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Quoting Abby:



After reading almost all of this post I think that you need to find 3 other people (including your husabnd) to take turns in the nursary.  Don't bother the pastor or the elders with it, you only need 4 of you.  Your family or friends that you have made.






I really feel that every church needs children, without them the church will die.  Don't force it on them as they already have a bad taste in thier mouth.  You can do this and enjoy worshiping the Lord agian!!! You will also be opeing the door for other people in your church to enjoy being there more.  Yes Christ is our focus but when it something we look forward to we are more able to serve Him to the fullest!






Good luck, God bless you with strength!





 



I agree Abby ! That church's need children, or they can become extinct! The main age of people that attend here is age 55 to age 100. I'm 33 and my husband is 35 we only have 4 other girl's my age or maybe a little younger and about  8 to 10 rangeing in  ages 6 to18  and  maybe 6 babies 5 and under.  They have made it open that they do not want change! I'm not there to change them nor can I, that's only something God can do? My husband is working on getting an ordination,but he know's strongly that if the Lord would give us a church someday the Lord has placed  a church with in him that is totally different than the one we are attending! God is showing my husband that a church has to be built on a firm foundation, ( with structure, and balance in every area). My husband really is going through training from God right now outside of school I guess you could say! ........ We talked last night and we are feeling led to fast and pray about all things?  There are reasons why we are here we just don't understand???              -Crystal-



 

Crystal - posted on 02/02/2009

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Quoting Katie:

Can any of your husband's family help out? Also, how old are your kids? I, too, go to a small church. We don't have a nursery, but we do have a junior church for the kids that are in elementary school. A few ladies rotate Sundays so they can hear the sermon the other Sundays.


 



Hey Katie! We do have family that does attend there, and some do help out and others do not for personal reasons!  One plays an instrument,  a teenage cousin sings at times, but she isn't for taking care of the youth! Their grandma, my aunt use to be lead for the singing, but has been pushed out  she's for bringing in new things, so hard feelings are there, and they don't show up all the time either. 



My Sunday mornings consist of this!  Kid's  are in 1 class rangeing from the age of  6 to 18 years.



I have 3 that go to that and 2 with me.  Till class we are fighting all 5 to behave, and try to teach them to listen.  It is even harder because 3 out of 5 of my kid's have disorders.  I have 2 who are Autistic  with Aspergers Syndrome, and my son also has Torrette's which he cannot hold still for very long anyway, and one of my little ones  that just turned 5 is mentally delayed.  People don't know how to handle our kid's at times and it's more my husbands and my job to handle the responsibility.  That's mainly why my husband doesn't want me taking on more than I can handle right now .   Sunday and Wed. night's during summer there is no classes offered and if I've gone I've had my children with me in the nursery so they can handle it better and move around! During School year  there is no classes Sun. and Wed. night and we do live 1 hr. away from church and they are school night's which puts our children getting to bed at 10:30 pm which is not good when going to school. So I haven't been attending night services during school time!



All in all since we don't really have much of a  youth, and the church had a split because of  youth, I don't think this pastor or  church really wants to have any youth anyway? I have been praying for the Lord to help this church,and for structure and balance!  There seems to be a lot of fighting going on in the background of things. That's why we really need to pray!  My husband and I  we have been feeling lead to go on a fast to really get some direction's and answers. That may be what we will have to do! My husband is involved himself with the church he has been trying to work on getting his ordination, he is wanting to attend a Bible College and that may be also why the Lord is telling us to stay ?  We will have to wait on God's timing for everything.  We really could use the prayers! I thank each and everyone of you for your help!!!             -Crystal-



 



 



 



 

Sana - posted on 02/02/2009

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hey crystal. i think maybe you need to talk to your husband again aswell as the church about putting a childrens ministry there. i know it must be hard with 5 children but it is important especially for the kids. the last church i went to was quite big but they didnt really have too much for kids so my mum and i left and went to a church that was more youth friendly and it helped so much for me. even if its not in the church do it somewhere else, they'l really love that and you'l find you'l be more relaxed and at peace and be able to listen and worship without the kids running around. just keep praying and hang on because God will help you with this.

Abby - posted on 02/02/2009

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After reading almost all of this post I think that you need to find 3 other people (including your husabnd) to take turns in the nursary.  Don't bother the pastor or the elders with it, you only need 4 of you.  Your family or friends that you have made.



I really feel that every church needs children, without them the church will die.  Don't force it on them as they already have a bad taste in thier mouth.  You can do this and enjoy worshiping the Lord agian!!! You will also be opeing the door for other people in your church to enjoy being there more.  Yes Christ is our focus but when it something we look forward to we are more able to serve Him to the fullest!



Good luck, God bless you with strength!

Heather - posted on 02/02/2009

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We go to a tiny church, like maybe 30 members on a great day. Our children were the only kids that attended until recently. They created a sunday school program souly for our kids. My husband and I took turns in the nursery with our twin girls (1yr). Now there are a few other kids attending and they are trying to set up a nursery program. Please bring this to your pastors attention. Maybe he can ask for volunteers to help in the other services for the nursery. Or if your family attends, maybe they can alternate weeks with you. Also maybe you could try (if your church doesn't already have this) some kind of a sound system so that you can hear the sermon in the nursery. One week we used baby moniters :) you may also check with people who normally only come on Sunday mornings to see if they would be willing to come in the evenings to run the nursery. They will probably be more willing because they wont miss anything they are use to.

Mandy - posted on 02/01/2009

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I'm sorry you are having to go through this. I would pray over it until you feel an answer from the Lord. Can you and your husband take turns with the kids? Then you could fill each other in on the sermon. Is there a womens group you belong to. maybe you could bring it up to the other women about getting some kind of childrens Sunday school started and all take turns with them. I will pray for you. Please keep us posted. Mandy

Katie - posted on 02/01/2009

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Can any of your husband's family help out? Also, how old are your kids? I, too, go to a small church. We don't have a nursery, but we do have a junior church for the kids that are in elementary school. A few ladies rotate Sundays so they can hear the sermon the other Sundays.

Crystal - posted on 01/31/2009

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Hey Guy's! Can I talk to you guys again tomorrow! I didn't realize it, but it's 12:30 am and I'm needing to get some sleep to take care of everyone tomorrow!  I thank all of you for talking with me!                                                                                             -Crystal-

Crystal - posted on 01/31/2009

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Quoting Melissa:

Maybe you can start a children's ministry. Pray about it, maybe he has a plan for you that you never would have thought about! There is a reason you are there!


 



Hey Melissa: My husband will not go for that! I can help out, but we have our hands full with the 5 we have especially in the times we are in the pew's, and we have already talked about me taking on more than I can handle!



It would cause a big fight between me and him, and my husband says my main responsiblity is to our 5! The elders need to bring in some balance and need to have more people that would be willing to help so we can all take turns! Until the Lord changes some things in our church with the leaders decisions of nothing but old time ways and traditions I think we are pretty well stuck!

Crystal - posted on 01/31/2009

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Quoting Mary:



Sounds like you are discouraged. I've been there. I too have 5 children and it sometimes seems as though I get nothing from the service. I spend a lot of time separating kids. But there are times that I do get encouragement from the sermon and / or the worship time. My only advice would be that sometimes we do things because they are right. This is that time. Your children are watching and are aware that they are being brought to church for you to worship your saviour. Some day that will mean a lot to them. You seem strong in your faith, which will help carry you through this trying time. Stay in the word. Don't depend only on the Sunday sermons to fill you. I listen to preachers online during the week to get the extra -- especially when I've had a hard week on the pew. Hope this is an encouragement.





 



Hey Mary: Thank you so much! I can bring back the balance of not just having church, but taking even more true time at home! After reading, and praying set down time by getting my sermons from the gospel channels more often! I do love John Hagee, Joyce Meyers, Jenetzen Franklin, and lots of others, but I haven't been making as much time for them here lately! I guess I really have fallen out of focus! I've focused more on my problems then on who and what is really more important!  Which should be my 1st Love, because He first loved us! I really thank all of you for your help! You have really helped me so much! I' m feeling much better about everything! Thank you again, and thank you for your prayers!



                                                                                                         -Crystal-

Shorty - posted on 01/31/2009

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that would be awesome if you could start it yourself. for sure pray about it. never know it might really bless you in a way that is amazing.

otherwise. just move up here and come to our church :) we love children and youth.. teeheee.. i am just playing... i am sorry that is going on. and i will keep you in my prayers because i know how important it is to be apart of a Church Family and to have a strong relationship in God!

Melissa - posted on 01/31/2009

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Maybe you can start a children's ministry. Pray about it, maybe he has a plan for you that you never would have thought about! There is a reason you are there!

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