LEARNING TO FORGIVE

Lisa - posted on 09/29/2009 ( 16 moms have responded )

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Am a single mom with a 6 months baby boy,was raised up a a christian,i feel my faith has gone down due to stutions in my life .my babys dad left us wen he was born and i just cant cope with the hurt i have towards him for doing such a thing to his only child,i pray everyday to God to give me that strangth to learn to forgive him.i feel my life will not move smoothly until i forgive him but its so hard.help me and pray for me

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Lisa - posted on 10/06/2009

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thx for they advice Janeka i just feel i neva knew all this time i was in the relationship with him,we were together for almst 3 yrs nd we lived togther too,well i understand what u saying i should now look forward nd not backwards

Janeka - posted on 10/05/2009

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I Understand How U Feel But In My situation I Was Invovled With My Daughters Father For A Year And A Half I Told Him I Was Pregnant And Never Spoke With Him Until My Daughter Was A Month...while I was Pregnant i Stregnthd My Relationship With God And And Learned That Forgiving Him Will Bless Me...The One Who Hurt You Is Holding The Key to Your Blessing...U Cant Let Your Yesturday Stop Your Tomorrow...It Sucks But U cant Turn back The Hands Of Time, You Will Find THat Forgiving Him Will Give You A Peace In You Heart And Spirit For You And Your Son To Be Blessed and Happy....

Martie - posted on 10/02/2009

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Having the baby's father walk out on you is like having a death except that the person is still living which makes it harder. It usually takes around two years to walk throught the grief process of a death. God will walk with you all the way in the valleys of grief. Allow yourself to feel the pain and talk to God about it. But don't stuff it down somewhere. In grief there are times of anger, hurt, anger at God all these are normal human feelings. God created us with feelings. It is dealing with them in a Biblical way. David in the Psalms talks about his pain and hurts to God. He knows God intimately and talks to Him about it all.

Sarah - posted on 10/02/2009

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prayer !

turn this into raising this boy to acknowledge family & women, to understand what a broken family does not only to him, but the woman, her family, his family...

righteous anger is okay, use it to move you!

Lisa - posted on 10/02/2009

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Believe in God every day Lisa. In Gods time. Our lives have just taken a turn thanks to God's goodness that I honestly never felt I would see until my children were old enough to make the choice for themselves. That is to have one home. By the grace of God their father who is not with God softened his heard and has given the children permission to live full time at home and spend some holiday time with him. Why he didn’t reach this choice three years ago when he had us brought back to the children’s birth town only God knows. I do know that this journey is far from over for us as it is for you. God has granted you this child for his glory. Live in it and cherish that baby every day God gives you to spend with him. It is truly a life changing experience that will make you stronger and closer with God as your father you can only begin to tip the ice berg of a life with him.



In Gods time Lisa, remember he is with you always.

Marquita - posted on 10/01/2009

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Quoting Lisa:

LEARNING TO FORGIVE

Am a single mom with a 6 months baby boy,was raised up a a christian,i feel my faith has gone down due to stutions in my life .my babys dad left us wen he was born and i just cant cope with the hurt i have towards him for doing such a thing to his only child,i pray everyday to God to give me that strangth to learn to forgive him.i feel my life will not move smoothly until i forgive him but its so hard.help me and pray for me



Love that baby boy (God's VERY precious gift to you) with everything you are today, and the forgiveness will come!

Zimmersgirl - posted on 09/29/2009

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Lisa,

Will definitely pray. It's a difficult situation and one that really only God can help you with, but we are all here to pray and lift you up so you can overcome the offense. You keep at it, too.

Hugs,
Tam

Kisha - posted on 09/29/2009

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Hello, Just wanted to share my testimony hoping that it can help someone. I have been married for only one year and I have a 16 and 10 year old meaning I've been a single parent for 15 years. It took me so long to forgive my children father for not only hurting and lying to me but not being the father my children needed. And because of that, I've dated men that were not for me. They were not bad men, it just didn't work out. Thank God because I have a great husband that I'm thankful for. I remember crying out to God asking Him to bring me a father to my children and a husband for me because I knew in my heart I was not meant to be single forever and my children needed a father. All along I'm thinking He was not hearing my prayers or He was just ignoring me and what I do, continue doing my thing. All along, I'm still holding on the resentment and anger I had.

Then, when I decided to follow Christ, that's when I realize that in order for me to get what is destined for me, I have to forgive. I have to forgive because it's not worth it to hold on those resentments. I couldn't grow into what God wants me to be if i don't forgive. Also, when you don't forgive, you still give that person control over your life. They have moved on, living life and you are still stuck in the past. Missing out on what God has for you and at the end of the day, is he worth you missing out what God has for you because you are still stuck in the past. Girl, please... no Man is worth that.

Lastly, how can we ask for forgiveness everyday, when we don't forgive? It's not possible. Do we think we are better than God? He can forgive, then why can't we?

That alone, makes me want to forgive.



So, do as Jay-Z (yes, I listen to hip-hop, hope I didn't offend anyone) says 'go on dust your shoulder off'. Get up and dust off the haters and walk in your destiny. Trust and believe once you do that, you will feel so free!!!!



Be blessed

Janette - posted on 09/29/2009

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Hello. I just heard a great CD about forgiveness. It was from a woman's retreat- Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa. (It was from there 2008 retreat). It was the last in a series of three CD's. I am sure that it is inexpensive. I am not sure how you would order it online or over the phone but it shouldn't be more than a few bucks. You can check it out maybe through Word for Today website. The title of it was "Pearls", I think. Or, you can check out the Calvary Chapel Bookstore. I just prayed for you. Just stay in the Word and also when you are on your knees, know that others are on their knees too. You are not alone.

Cheyl - posted on 09/29/2009

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As others have told you forgivness is a choice, but the feelings of forgivness will take time, and God working with you through it.

When you feel a feeling of unforgivness just say " Thank you Lord that you are with me and with your strength i have forgiven him."

I know your hurt i was left with two little girls and i can tell you that God is the only way i made it. God will move you through each day and you are going to make it!!

Heb.415-16 For we have not a high priest that cannot be touched with our feeling and hurts: but was in all points tempted like we are. Let us therefore come BOLDLY TO THE THRONE of grace, that we may get mercy, and find grace to HELP in our time of need.

take your bible find God''s promises and stand on them. Say them out loud. you are held in His hands and our prayers.

Victoria - posted on 09/29/2009

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Quoting Heather:

Lisa, I will pray for you! I would like to share my story with you also. My first husband cheated on me when I was pregnant and after the birth of our first son. He said that he just wasn't ready for children, and he was sorry that we were ever married. I fought for our marriage. It was a rough road. He finally told me that he had stopped seeing the other girl and wanted to fix things with me. Well, I got pregnant with our second son less then a month later. The first thing he said to me was "What will my girlfriend say?" He called me everyday to see if I had miscarried. (Everyday until the day I went in to give birth and then had the nerve to show up!) Anyway, we ended up getting divorced, and I am now married to a wonderful man. And my faith in God actually grew through the whole ordeal. I guess that I'm telling you this because I've been there. I know what it feels like to be abandoned by the one you love, and left with a child. I know what it feels like to think you will be alone for the rest of your life, and never be loved by another human again. But God is bigger then that. I have forgiven my first husband. If he hadn't done those horrible things, I would have never met my husband that I have now. I would never have had my daughters, and I wouldn't be the Christian that I am now. 1 Corinthians 7 was one of the passages that helped me the most during that time. And also Ecclesiastes 3. Here are some other verses that I want to share with you:

John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

1 John 4:20
If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.

2 Corinthians 2:10
If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake,

Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.


That is so inspiring. I praise God for your willingness to share that sister. I have seen my own Husband go through simular. He was married & they had kids. Then they discided to move to another city in another province, because they believed that God was calling them there. Well he got there set up, finding a job & a place to live & sent for his family to come. His first wife had gotton invoved with her boss & walked away from God. He believed for reconciliation of his family & God sent the Kids to live with him. Then his first wife devorced him, taking the house he had physically built for them to have. She since been married 2 more times & seems to be in a cycle of having kids & leaving them withthe dads, we pray for her to come back to God along with the oldest 2 children who have since left our home & walked away from the LORD. Any way I met my husband at our church, got married & raised our 2 children from his first marriage & we have since had 3 together.



God has been so good to us. And adversity had helped us grow in our faith.

Heather - posted on 09/29/2009

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Lisa, I will pray for you! I would like to share my story with you also. My first husband cheated on me when I was pregnant and after the birth of our first son. He said that he just wasn't ready for children, and he was sorry that we were ever married. I fought for our marriage. It was a rough road. He finally told me that he had stopped seeing the other girl and wanted to fix things with me. Well, I got pregnant with our second son less then a month later. The first thing he said to me was "What will my girlfriend say?" He called me everyday to see if I had miscarried. (Everyday until the day I went in to give birth and then had the nerve to show up!) Anyway, we ended up getting divorced, and I am now married to a wonderful man. And my faith in God actually grew through the whole ordeal. I guess that I'm telling you this because I've been there. I know what it feels like to be abandoned by the one you love, and left with a child. I know what it feels like to think you will be alone for the rest of your life, and never be loved by another human again. But God is bigger then that. I have forgiven my first husband. If he hadn't done those horrible things, I would have never met my husband that I have now. I would never have had my daughters, and I wouldn't be the Christian that I am now. 1 Corinthians 7 was one of the passages that helped me the most during that time. And also Ecclesiastes 3. Here are some other verses that I want to share with you:

John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

1 John 4:20
If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.

2 Corinthians 2:10
If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake,

Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Anne - posted on 09/29/2009

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Lisa sometimes we have to just decide in our hearts to forgive and relay on God to do the forgiving for us through us. You are so wise to realize that not forgiving is more hurtful to person that is unforgiving than the person that we are forgiving. I will count it an honor and privilege to Pray for you. Your son is realy a cute !

Victoria - posted on 09/29/2009

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LORD God, I pray for my Sister Lisa. Give her the strength to get through each day, seeing you before her & a round about her. Give her the realization that your Grace is sufficient for her & that you are more than enough for you are Jehovah Jireh, the God who provides all our needs. Let her know that you are with her through each and every circumstance she goes through and although her childs father may have abandoned them you will never leave nor forsake her. Give her the strength of heart & character to forgive, because if she doesn't it will only be her who suffers. Let her know that she has a group of sisters the world over who although not there physically with her are always with her in spirit connected through you, our LORD & God, Jesus Christ.

AMEN.

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