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the husband!!

Kat - posted on 06/01/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )




ok so my husband works and im a sah for now!! but he works like 4 days a wk and 4-8 hrs a day. he wont do anything with our son bc "hes too tired"!! i have been gettin up odd hrs of the nite, early in the ams and he sleeps through it all! i ask him to wake up so i can clean a lil or take a shower and he yells at me that hes tired and wants to sleep n. i dont remeber the last time i did!!! i feel like im a single mom at times and he dont care enough bout us to help! we're waitin for a counselor to call us back bc im so close to leavin!!! and i really dont know wat to do..
o ya he pulls that line all the time when i want to do something or go somewhere as a family!!


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Kat - posted on 06/01/2010




thanks everyone has helped me feel less discouraged! as for my husband he was brought up catholic and doesnt attend church with us regularly. if he aint workin he doesnt wanna go! we argue bout it but i just take my son and go! im hopin that one day he will get it that i enjoy goin and want our son in that kind of enviroment! goin to church makes me feel good and relaxed! as for me time when he's sleepin he fake sleeps. but as soon as i get up or start to leave the rm hes up and ready to play! and is always smilin so i cant b mad. i understand hes a baby!! my fam has been prayin that he'll come closer to the lord but it takes time and patience! as for the counselor we are set up to start meetin with one here pretty from church. so my fam and friends as am i are prayin that it helps. and i know i could get a job and support him if it came down to it. my fam is very supportive!! but thanks all for ur help

Jill - posted on 06/01/2010




Kat i feel your pain.... i have 3 kids and am going through the same was so hard for me to get use to at first but now i am so used to doing things myself and am exhausted most of the time but this one thing changed my thinking....God made woman to be man's helper and not the other way around....women do often get the short end of the stick and it stinks but just remember you are God's servant and should do these things cheerfully .... now i am not saying i do not get mad and discouraged at my husband for not helping... i have been going through that alot lately... but God brings me out of that mood quickly... actually i was quite thrilled when my husband admitted he can;t handle watching my 21 month old ... he is so active and whinny ... just him admitting that it is hard made it worth the struggle ... ask God for help.... he will help to lighten your load ... and your husband will pick up the slack... guaranteed...

Victoria - posted on 06/01/2010




First off is your husband christian?

I agree that counseling could be a good idea, you should look for a Christian counselor if possible or even talk with your pastor & see if the Church you attend offers counseling. At a time when you hubby is well rested and in good form, maybe sit down with him when you little one isn't around and explain to him how you feel. Maybe make a list of things that you find encouraging and discouraging (don't just make a negative list). You can put it like, when you do this or say this I feel... :(, but when you do this and say this it make me.... :).

Try and be as positive and encouraging with your words, yet still being honest about what you are going through. Ask God to lead you in what to say & trust the situation to Him, sure the husband is the head of the household, just as Christ is head of the Church......Christ had a servants heart he washed the feet of his disciples and even gave himself wholeheartedly even to death, that we wouldn't have to. A husband is s'pose to lead in his following the example that Christ set before us.

I'll keep you in prayer, as I know from experience that God can and will change our situations.

[deleted account]

Have courage, Kat!

You are blessed to have a husband to provide for you and your child. This is his duty, he is not the mommy? Really think about this, if you left, you would have to find a job and be gone from your child, leaving them in the care of someone else all the time.

I have 3 children, and my husband leaves for work during the week, comes home on the weekend. He is a logger, and has been coming and going for the last ten years. He is taking care of his family, especially in this economic crisis, I thank God he has a job.

I know it is discouraging, Kat. Maybe adjust your schedule when baby is sleeping so you can shower. When baby is asleep, then you take the time for self-care. It is important to recharge your batteries, even if hubby is gone.

Hang in will get easier as baby gets older.

Heather - posted on 06/01/2010




Life in this world will be hard for us. While that does not justify his behavior, I must ask if he is a believer in Christ? That does make a difference. Also, I went through a husband encouragement challenge a few years back that was just wonderful. It might help you out. It wont change him, but changing the way that I saw my husband really did make life a lot easier. It helped me to love him more, and instead of picking out the negatives or down sides to him, it helped me to remember why I love him so much. It helped me to see the good things and focus on them. If you are interested you can find it on-line (for free) at:

it's the second one down. It's basically like a 30 day devotional challenge. You would get an e-mail everyday.

I will pray for your family and marriage.

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