Teenagers and music

Dana - posted on 01/28/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I have three teenagers from 14 to 17. They listen to country which I'm ok with. They listens to tons of christian bands as well. But lately they are asking why they can't listen to the songs kids at school listen to. I am very strict with music they aren't really allowed to listen to worldly rap due to all it talks about is sex and drugs. I ask them why they would want to listen to it since they know it's bad. But they like the beat is what they tell me. What do you do? What is so great with that type of music verses christian rap? Probably cause kids at school don't listen to it. Then my kids come up with well there are ppl in the church youth group that listen to it why can't we?

Any advice out there?

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Lisa - posted on 03/06/2009

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Dana, I too wonder this about my youngest son (15 yrs.). He is so enticed with rap music and the rappers. He will listen to gospel music, but rap is his first choice. I don't like the lyrics and annotations and the vulgarity of rap music and the negativity that it portrays. Yet, it entices our children all the more.. I monitor what he listens to and I talk to him about what he listens to. When our children are not in our presence they tend to follow the crowd if there are no values instilled in them at a young age. They are curious by nature and will try that very thing that tempts them if believed they can get away with it. So I listen to some of it with him and I ask him what he likes about the song, who made it, how long has the artist been recording and things of that nature, I am establishing that fact that he can talk to me about anything, even about something I do not agree with. Therefore I can advise him to choose an alternative music to listen to and explain why. I used this example with my son a little while back: This is a true story: Marilyn Manson was on a late night talk show as a musical guest. I was attempting to fall asleep when I heard this awesome drumbeat, i mean the beat was so strong that I was drawn to the screen, I watched in awesome wonder and shock as I witnessed something that I had never seen before, as Marilyn sang and his drummer played, there was not one person in the room left sitting, EVERYONE IN THE BUILDING, was standing at full attention and not a sound was made until he finished playing. You could see backstage where all the staff was standing and trying not to be seen as they watched as in a trance at this young man singin' some vile and vulgar lyrics, but it was the call of those drums that stirred everyone in the house. that drummer was the baddest drummer I had ever heard in my LIFE!
That's when it came to me, you can be lured into something through the ministry of music if you are not careful. Satan had the best voice in the heavenly choir until he fell from grace. So wouldn't it be quite natural to entice our children through music? the beat as your kids say...Is the mating call. So we must discuss it and recognize it with our children so they can make informed and Godly choices rather than being uninformed and sneaking around to listen to secular music and etc. Communication is the key.

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Sophia - posted on 09/06/2013

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I taught (and still teach) my kids to be independent thinkers as well as religious. Concerning this issue, I made it clear why certain secular artists are not welcome in my house: they do not glorify God with their lives or music. If they want to listen to a secular artist, they must do their own research on lyrics/lifestyle to prove that this person will not be a negative influence.This pretty much shuts down most of them. Also we have discussed that even gospel artists are questionable, as some recently have been exposed for repetitivesinful behavior (iniquity). A recommendation? Kim Walker-Smith and Jesus Culture have beautiful music and worship styles that suit most. They are Christian artists that even my teens agree with. Hope this helps

Shanon - posted on 07/08/2009

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I also have started to deal with this and lisa T. is so right talk with our kids ask them to explain wha t and how they feel .. I have told my kids why i only like to listen to christian music. As I told them how it made me feel and how other music made me feel. What goes in comes out I believe this deepley. Country music and rock and even some christian rock doesnt sit with my spirit. It makes me sad, or needfull of something. I think about wanting to go party and drink it just starts a pull in me that i don't want to give in to because it go against the spirit thats in me. I have always told the kids if its not lifting up our Lord its not a good thing and like lisa said we must communicate with them. I have started alowing them to listen to disany chan and all though it doesn't mention the Lord they and I can change the words were we are singing it to the Lord.. I think kids are going to make choises and as long as they can stop and think of the consequences of everything the choose. weight it out it will only go one of to ways. YOUR EATHER HOT OR COLD ,FOR OR AGAINST. we pro & con it out.. you are lifted up in my prayers.

Torri - posted on 03/09/2009

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I agree with lisa, communication is the key. But I wonder, are you as strict with your tv and movies as you are with music. This is not my own original thought but one raised by my own worship pastor when talking about this same issue. He is a teacher at a Christian High school where secular music isn't allowed... but the kids listen to it anyway. As for my experience i've learned this... when I completely banned it ... they wanted it more and snuck around my back (which i see as lying) and to me that's worse than just listening to secular music. But when I sat down and pointed out what the lyrics really said, really meant ( no matter how embarassing) and gave them a choice i found that majority of the time they didn't listen to that song again and would speak up against friends and family to change it if it came on.



I noticed something about strictness by observing students that attend my church that also attend the school associated with it. The more you restrict something point blank without communication... you make it forbidden fruit thus making it more desirable because our flesh is weak and always wants what it can't have.

Shelly - posted on 03/03/2009

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Dana,



    What you can do is explain to them that how would they feel if that was thier sister or them selves that these rappers are singing about.  You need to explain to them that these women that they are singing about they are someones sister or mother or aunt.  Ask them that if they would want someone sing about thier friends like that.  Put it real terms for them.  You can't just say b/c I don't like it you need to explain too them your feelings and you need to put it in real world terms for them.  I hope this helps

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I think this issue goes back to when Elvis started singing on the radio! Of course, now-a-days, we think Elvis is mild compared to some of the music you mentioned. I did not grow up in a Christian home, and listened to "pop" music. When I became a Christian, I wanted to give Jesus my WHOLE heart, so I quit listening to music that wasn't turning my spirit toward Him. It's difficult to teach children the importance of how music influences who they are and how they worship. It sounds like you've explained it well to your teens. After some discussion, it they still aren't "getting it", you may just have to tell them to trust you and obey your authority. Remind them that they are in the process of gathering information for their future. When they arrive in adulthood, they can use this info to make the decisions that are right for them. That said, personally, I expect my kids are going to sneak a little taste of some things, like music. I can only pray they will not grieve the Holy Spirit with total rebellion and do things that can permanently damage their souls (I think music could). Stay on your knees, sister.

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