Stacy - posted on 08/25/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )




I have suffer with depression all of my life. Having 2 young children made it worse and better at the same time. Stress, no sleep, post pardom, fear of not being a good mom has made it worse. But they have giving me a will to live, not just the thought that killing myself is wrong. I so ashamed of the way I feel. I feel like there is no help to be had. I'm so ashamed I can't tell my husband or my parents. I have tryed couselling but it has not helped. Any suggestions.


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Tamra - posted on 09/01/2009




Stacy - I was exactly where you are. Two small kids and so depressed I had constant thoughts of how could I end things so that there wouldn't be a mess for anyone to clean up. How horrible is that? I'd spend my day with my little kids on the couch next to me - an arm around each of them - sleeping off and on while they watched TV. And I had a horrible time trying to sleep at night.

I found an online test about depression and anxiety and took it. I printed it and went to see my doctor. She ordered bloodwork. After that, when she was sure it wasn't a chemical thing, she put me on Wellbutrin. It's not habit-forming and it doesn't cause weight gain. I also started therapy. I've been seeing my therapist for about a year and a half. I wasn't able to tell my husband on my own about the thoughts of suicide, so he came with me to therapy. My therapist guided the conversation. He was very surprised because I hide my feelings very well. But he's been much more supportive and aware.

I rarely have those feelings anymore. And when I do, I know I must be overly tired or lonely and I get more sleep or I reach out to a friend. I love my kids and my husband too much for them to grow up without the best me I can be.

I hope all of us who have shared have let you see you are not the only one who has been where you are. Get help and know we're here. :0)

Lori - posted on 08/31/2009




My Dearest Stacy,

I use to suffer with depression, counseling will work but you have to stick with it,you also need medication they both go together and next you need to confide in someone or it will get worse. Tips that worked for me late night bath cup of green tea, one hour walk in the morning and last but not least pay attention to your appearance!

Amy - posted on 08/31/2009




I understand how you feel. Just the thought of my children was the only thing that kept me from suicide at times. I have been on medication and counselling for about 5 years now. At one time I did feel ashamed, like I should just be a better Christian and this wouldn't be happening to me. Then I went off my meds without supervision...BIG MISTAKE! Don't be ashamed if you do need medication. Like Tina said, it's a chemical imbalance, a physical problem. I have come to terms with the fact that I will probably be on medication the rest of my life. I still find it hard to tell people about it. I guess there is still a little bit of a shame factor there. But find even one close friend you feel you can share with, maybe even someone who has been through it. I also agree that you should talk to your husband. He most likely knows there is something wrong, but has no idea what he can do about it. I, too, will be praying for you.

Tina - posted on 08/29/2009





I can't agree more with Amy. Severe depression is caused from a chemical imbalance in the brain. I know meds are sometimes given to people as a 'solution,' but they are a help. Some have to take them the rest of thier lives, some only a short while to get the brain back in balance. Talk to your husband and a trusted dr. The dr can steer you in the right direction, even your child's pediatrician can help. Yes, God will help you thru this time, by all means, and you will gain a closer relationship with Him thru this. He may also choose complete healing. Although, suicidal thoughts are serious, and He gave drs. wisdom to assist the brain, which is an organ, to function properly. You are being prayed for.

Amy - posted on 08/28/2009




Stacie, I am sorry that you are going thru this. I am proud of you for sharing your feelings with this group and reaching out to find help. I felt the same that you did and it takes a lot to admit when you are down. I had to finally talk with my Dr. and have to go on prescriptions to help. I am now off of them with her help also and am doing better but it is a day by day struggle. You can only be the best that YOU can be. I agree with the other posts about getting right with God and that helped but in my situation it was also a medication thing with my brain. I don't know if this helps but PLEASE keep talking to someone, anyone that will listen because that will help.

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Depression can be a hard thing to come out of, but there is hope. Are you a Christian? Do you believe that the Bible is God breathed and toatlay inspired by God? Have you acceped Jesus to be your Savior? These are just questions, by no means is this any form of condemnation,whatsoever. Jesus is our only hope for anything. I struggled with thoughts of suiside as a christian for a time. Spending much prayer on this and knowing that this was not pleasing to God I too wannted to be delivered from these propetual hunting thoughts. Over time God made me see that the reason I was having these thoughts was because I was too focoused on my self. I got cought up in consumming my head with the thooughts of how insignifagant I am and wondering why God has blessed me with the wonderful husband and beautiful children that He did. Personally, I would've picked another wife and mom. ( thats how I thought durring the time of depression I went through). God brought to my attention that I was focused too much on myself. He gave me an understanding that this life that He gave me has nothing to with me at all, we are here for his glory. He showed me that it's not about how insignifigant I am but about how big He is. He helped me see how much I need Him, and that is every hour, literally every minute. He Loves you and thats why He sent His Son Jesus to die for you. And Our Saviors last words on that old rugged cross were, " It is finished." Stacy, If you truly have accepted Jesus as your Savior, He paid in full the very thing your taking back. Satin does not have dominion over you any more. you can over come this. The Lord in you can over come this. Ther is a book I would HIGHLY recomend, called Self Confrontation by John C. Broger. You can get this book from starting at about $ 16.95. personally, I would pay $100 for this book. Thats how effective it is. Next to the Bible This is most helpful book ever. Why? Well it catigorizes everything humanily possible that we all strugle with and 1st it gives you a biblical persective on these struggles then it takes you to Bilble verses to memorize to overcome these issues. Not good at memorizing? I know I'm not, I usually write thenm on 3 x 5's or bussniess cards and keep 1 or 2 on the kitchen sink and some in my purse, or wherever I may be spending a few minutes.

God did'nt make a mistake when He created you in your mothers womb. Nor did He make a mistake by giving you your husband and children. I can't help but to cry while writting this, He told this to me and now I'm telling you. Allow God to have His way in your heart and be transformed by the renewing of your mind (through memorizing scripture). I also wannted to mention that the Self Confrontation Book has a whole chapter on depression. Thank you for sharing your heart. I think I can speak for everyone that you will defanyly be in our prayers. Please let us know how you are doing. Seriously.

Jodie - posted on 08/27/2009




You are not alone just remember that!! Yes talk to your husband make it help out around the house more. Take a night off go out with some friends it will do wonders for your mood.
I to suffer from depression under control with medcine that is a life safer.
See my kids makes me smile, they are great even when they act up.
Above all take one day at a time one hour at a time if you have too.
Also pray and keep praying, I will pray for you too. Take care.

Christa - posted on 08/26/2009




Stacey, Think about this....Of all the women in the world...God chose you to mother those 2 young children of his. There is a reason for your life...until God takes need to be strong and know that you are loved, needed and wanted by so many!! Depression is a serious and dangerous illness, however, nothing is stronger or mightier than God himself. Everytime a negative thought enters your head...plead the blood of Christ over your body, mind and soul. Tell Satan there is no place for him in your life, rebuke him and turn everything over to Jesus Christ. Have faith in your life....God created you for a purpose.

Shelly - posted on 08/26/2009





First and formost you need to talk to your husband. How unfair it is to hold something like this back from him, he maybe the key to helping you. Trying to handle this yourself is doing nothing but cheating yourself of a loving healthy relationship with your family!!! God has great plans for you and by you holding this in is just blocking Gods blessings for you II Corinthians 4:8-10 (NLT) We are pressed on ever side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. 9 We are huntedn down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. 10 Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our body. Sweety we may go through our trials and tribulations but we never have to go to that place of dispare b/c Jesus took that on so we didn't have to. Raise y9our hands and worship him and thank him for what he has done for you and your children. I will keep you in my prayers and ask the Lord to give you the courage to talk to your husband and to help you lift your eyes to him and him alone.

Anne - posted on 08/26/2009




Oh Stacy satan wants you to feel ashamed so you DO NOT SEEK GOD. Now I am NOT TELLING you that if you were a better Christian you would not be depressed. I have know several very Godly women who at one time or another have suffered with depression. Talk to your husband. He most likely senses something wrong and could even be concerned for you.

Are you getting enough sleep, not too little or too much?
Are you eating right?
Are you getting out in the sun for a few minutes a day with out sun screen. I am not talking hours, only about 10 minutes a day has been found to help.
Are you getting exercise?

You are most likely wondering why I asked these questions. I too have suffered from depression from time to time. I know when these things are out of sink I am setting myself up for depression. But the most important thing you can and need to e doing are daily Pray(Some time minute by minute Prayer), and staying in the Word.

These are some verses that have helped me:
2 Samuel 22:17; Isaiah 43:2; 2 Corinthians 1:3-7; James 5:8 Really the whole book of James is a good book to do a study on adversity.
Psalm 50:15; and 2 Corinthians 4:8

I will be Praying for you. Please talk to your husband and even your Pastor.
If you need to talk add me to your circle or send me a message.

Amy - posted on 08/25/2009




I know of someone who has a child and has depression. She has the same thoughts. My suggestion. is seek support. Find a support group that may help you. People who have the same problems. I went through post pardom but I do not have depression all the time. I will pray for you. God bless you. I see it with outher friends it is not easy. Take care of your self. If you have a young child and they take naps take a nap with them. Try going to Moms groups. I used to be in MOPS whitch is Mother Of PreSchoolers. Which is a christian organization.

Qnyone can join but it is christian based. I loved it they have crafts, speakers and all kinds of things. It really helped me. Hang in there. God will see you through it. He will not give you more then you can handle. Jesus loves you and so do I.

Christa - posted on 08/25/2009




Why are you ashamed? There is NOTHING to be ashamed of. I've also suffered with depression so I know how it can grip you and you feel like there's no way out. Talk to someone, let them know how you are feeling. I would give counseling another shot, it really helped me. Maybe you need to try someone else, I always make sure I see a Christian. Above all you know Jesus is there for you, talk to him, give him your burdens, trust him to take care of you. Remember yoou are never alone. One thing my dad always says to me is "this too shall pass". I'll pray for you and I hope you can find your way out. :-)

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