Do you believe in Love or Lust

Dawna - posted on 08/01/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I posted something on "Moms with wonderful husbands" and ended up starting my own conversation cuz I got bashed from everyone that responded.

The first post on there I responded to was "My husband wants me" I responded 2x I think but got 3-4 responses saying they think it's perfectly fine to pose nude for pictures for your husband and most of the others said the same I was hoping I was just in the wrong community

So I started my own conversation on thier community that says the same as this "Do you believe in love or lust" I wanted to get a fresh perspective and see if I could explain the differance a little more clearly...I'm sure I'm far from perfect in this area but I am aiming for God's desires and what he wants for a man and wife not just what I want...

what do you think?

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Jamie - posted on 08/04/2010

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I believe overall that love is a choice, and lust is a feeling. That being said I believe love is emotional, as well though. In my opinion, Love without ANY emotion is well... dead. There are days that I am so tired that I don't want to clean or cook or do laundry, but I do it because I love and want to honor my husband. I don't "feel (emotion)" the love. I just choose to. Yet, when I walked down the aisle I still remember the overwhelming emotions of how much I loved him, and how I couldn't believe how blessed I was, and it had NOTHING to do with lust. In fact, I was a virgin when I married and kind of freaked out about the whole idea of sex. Eventhough, I am 24 I am very old fashioned about most things. However, I read Song of Solomon. I believe it is both real and an allegory. (I am not wanting to start a debate on that. lol.) My point is I desire my husband and for some crazy reason he desires me. I have not posed naked for my husband, but if he wanted me to I would submit and do it. I would be soooo embarrassed/mortified, but I would absolutely want my husband to love and desire me until my final breath or Jesus' return even if that meant a picture, ladies. I honestly hope he never desires that though. So I would say that I genuinely love and, yes, ladies even lust after my husband. I don't mean it disrespectfully. I think it's the way it should be, but I don't have all the answers just my thoughts.

Cindy - posted on 08/04/2010

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Love and Lust are both feelings that are real although they are very different people confuse the two all the time.
Lust is a passing emotion that 2 people have for each other sometimes when they first meet, or because they want "a romp in the hay" so to speak, and even a married couple that has been together for years can feel lust.
Love however is a lasting emotion. I have been married 31 years and boy have we been through the ups and downs during that time and I guarantee that love is what has carried us through, not lust.
I am so glad that God LOVES me as that will last forever, even longer that the love in my marriage which at times can seem fleeting. When lust gets mistaken for love, divorce, hardship, broken homes, and other tragedies happen as lust dies.
So as I said before, Praise God that he LOVES me for who I am, an overweight, mother of 4, grandma of 5, unemployed, depressed women of 49.

Carla - posted on 08/02/2010

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I can personally vouch for the nude pictures--we were cleaning out our friend's furniture getting ready to move. Imagine my horror to find them BOTH naked on film! I am still trying to clean my eyes! lol

Lust is usually what we start out with. Because no one has long engagements anymore, with chastity, lust is what kicks in. If you are lucky enough to survive to about 25-30 years of marriage, you begin to understand that bodies change, libidos wan, but true love continues on. Love doesn't care if you go bald, gain 30 pounds, or aren't up for a romp 24/7. Love is still there when you wake up in the morning with bad breath and your nightie wrinkled. Love doesn't divorce you because you haven't progressed as much as one might personally think you should. 50% of Christian marriages end in divorce, and I find that cryable. God said til death do you part. He knew what He was talking about. It takes a lifetime to blend two lives into the one He expected.

And as for the response 'my husband wants me', that, too, is usually lust. I refer to the above appearance of our spouse and STILL want them!

Love is not an emotion, love is a choice. Lust, however, is strictly an emotion, and therefore, is very fickle. Don't get me wrong, a little healthy lust at the right moment is still fun, but our relationship has evolved to love first. We chose to love each other, and we chose to stay together, through the good, the bad, and the ugly! And the first 30 years of our relationship was pretty ugly! I have to give the credit to God, we filed once, separated numerous times, but always came back together. He truly loves me, and I truly love him, gray hair, bald spot, dunlap tummy, and the whole works. His eyes are still that Hershey bar brown and they still light up when he sees me. That's love!

[deleted account]

There is a HUGE difference between the two, but they both exist.
Personally, at no time would I have felt comfortable posing for a nude picture. Imagine, a young wife, with a youthful body, poses for such a picture. In a perfectly happy marriage, the picture in shared only between the couple. Time passes, kids come and grow. Big kids, or grandkids look through photos to make a scrapbook for Mom and find WHAT?!?!

Or, worse scenario -- husband post photo on-line or shares with his friends. Eeww! Do want to wonder every time you see one of "husband's" friends if they've seen YOU?!?

Tonya - posted on 08/01/2010

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Love to me is more precious and gives me the feeling of being one with my husband. Today, so many relationships are based on lust, just getting a good feeling for the moment. Love is patient, kind, and it sees beyond my faults. Love builds and not tear down my self esteem. True committment is based on love and not lust. When I came into a covenant married relationship with my husband we vowed to love not lust after each other. So, I'm all for love.

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Cyndel - posted on 08/08/2010

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Both exist.
Jesus mentions both love and lust.
Love is an action and a choice.
Lust is an action and a choice.
The difference, lust is adultry, it is entertaining sexual thoughts about a person who is not your spouce (whether you are married yet doesn't matter, if you aren't married you have a 96% chance of being married sometime in your life or the person you are lusting after either is or probably will be). Lust is a sin and should not be acceptable behavior.
Love is treating another person the way Christ has treated us. With respect, consideration, kindness, gentleness, firmness, forgiveness..etc.
As for nude pictures, I never will, there is too much chance of someone finding them.
As for a husband who would show pictures of his nude wife to friends, he has no respect or love for his wife and the sacredness of their sexual relationship. I would bring him before the church for discipline. That is a betrayal of trust.

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