I need some advice and help, please! haha! I have an 11 year old boy that has ADHD & ODD

Juli - posted on 07/29/2017 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I need some advice and help, please! haha! I have an 11 year old boy that has ADHD & ODD. After I have tried all of the positive reinforcements and natural consequences that I can, with follow through, and other ways of discipline I can not find one way that will work with my son to get him to do his chores, follow directions, or obey when he is at home a lot of the time. Believe me I have tried the 'Love and Logic Parenting' perspectives, positive behavior ideas and charts, spankings (that I gave up on a few years ago because of his age and he is to old for them now), taking his favorite items away, natural consequences, etc... I continually hear "NO", "I don't care", or "I'm not going to" when he just doesn't want to do something he sit firm on it and doesn't budge. What can I do? I am also a single parent. His dad walked out when my son was 1 1/2 years old, and I have not heard back from him and that's okay.

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Peter - posted on 03/20/2018

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I have to disagree with you that your son is too old for spankings at 11, however that is your choice and I'm not going to criticise one way or the other.

I must say I am not a believer in ADHD as a real condition, I think a lot of medical people like to pounce on it as an easy diagnosis. I know there is medication that they claim works but I believe there are a lot of side effects.

My only experience of "ADHD" was with a friend's son who was 7 at the time. His mum, also a single mum, was at her wits end with him and was about to start the drugging treatment. She ended up having a bit of a breakdown and was unable to look after him for a while. He came to live with us for six months. We introduced him to what is commonly now called "first time obedience", it was hard at the start because he had learned to play his mother. All I will say is that for the first few weeks he spent a lot of time with his pants round his knees over my lap getting a very sore bottom. After the first few weeks we started noting a change in his behaviour both at home and at school.

After six months he was doing brilliant at school, his behaviour was heaps better he hadn't needed any drugs. His mum came and lived with us for a few weeks so she could see what a difference a few sore bottoms had made - well maybe a lot of sore bottoms at the start. I taught her how to smack properly, she was a mum that would in constantly just slap without any planning before.

He did fantastically at school and is now a doctor.

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