Ideal age gap between two siblings

Liezl - posted on 12/07/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )




My daughter is 4 years old and I would like to plan on having my second child/children. What would you say is the ideal age gap for a second sibling?


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Shelley - posted on 04/18/2012




My brother is 4 years younger than i and we get along and always have really well. My girls are 20 months apart and are really close don't want to be apart and get along really well. My sister in law just had her second 9 years difference praise be to god as they thought they couldn't have any more and so far so good. Good luck finding the right age gap i don't think there is one.

Angela - posted on 03/27/2012




A friend of mine married at 16, had first child (a daughter) at 17 and then a son at 18. Despite marrying so young, she stayed happily married to the same man and is still with him now at nearly 54. This means she’s had a LOT of child-free years in the prime of her life – and no nappies (or diapers as you call them) beyond the age of 21! I feel a bit jealous, actually!

But no-one knows how well their children will get along and how they’ll fit into one’s family dynamic and if things would’ve been better if they were born closer together or more spaced out! You can’t really assess things like that until after they’ve been born and by then it’s too late for the maths and the considerations!

Mine were like this:


Second son 2 years & 8 months after first

Third son when second son was nearly 5 years old

Daughter when third son was nearly 14 months.

Can’t really advise you. Sorry!

Carla - posted on 03/25/2012




I think it depends on the kids, actually, and you don't know that until AFTER you have them! There is two years to the month between my daughter and her brother, then 4 almost 5 between him and another daughter. The two girls would gang up on the boy, or the two older would gang up on the younger, or vice versa ;) They DID become very close when they got into their teens, though, which I was grateful for.

My three younger siblings, two boys and a girl were a year apart, give or take, and they were more like triplets than singles--they were inseparable! They also 'adopted' my two older children, my youngest brother and son were housemates after high school, and he and his friend went to prom with my daughter and a friend of hers.

I think God's timing is ultimately the best, pray and hope for the best :)

God bless

User - posted on 03/24/2012




My girls are 21 months apart and they are best friends. Their bond reminds me of the twins I have known in my life. The first few months were hard on me, but I think the closeness in age was way better for them. We also have another child with a significant gap and it is not the same relationship as the others.

Janet - posted on 01/15/2010




There really is none. I have four all 2 years apart and they still had their problems with each other. My friend had them 5 years apart and she had the worse time of it. My advice to you is remember one very important thing always include the oldest child in the care of the baby. Let her help you bath the baby or help dress or change diapers. Hold her while you feed the baby just anything to let her know she is just as important as the baby.

Crystal - posted on 01/14/2010




I like the 2-4 year split. I was blessed with sisters like this and then I chose mine this way. Each get their own "babyhood", clothes styles are easier to pass down, and a bond seems to to bind them when they are closer in age. :) ♥

Heather - posted on 12/17/2009




Gods timing is best! I have two years between my first two and then three years before the twins (which have a minute between them!)

Rabecca - posted on 12/14/2009




Post a reply!I think it just really depends on your family unit for me I always thought 5 years would be great but by the time my son turned 5 i was like amen I can let him play by himself for 5 min and didnt want to start that whole thing again right away and I always knew I didnt wan to baies at the same time and that just because you have 2 close in age does not mean they are going to be best of buddies it can happen but doesnt always my own sister is a year older than me and pretty much felt like I was the last person she was ever going to paly with even when we were little she is very out spoken and fiesty and I am way more reserved and quite we just have extremly different personalies and always have. shes a this is the way it is and you can kiss my backside if you dont like and I always worry about hurting people and stuff like that and it took me almost 20 some years to get her and be friends as adults but still the difference is really apparent but I can way more appraite her fiestiness now but as a kid I was pretty intimidated by how blunt she is it would make me very nervious

my son will be 9 in a few days and now I really feel its time that I really want another baby but I still may wait another year or so just to save money and get some bills paid off so daycare wont be such a major expence so really it just depends on you and your family and what you think would fit best into it

Elizabeth - posted on 12/10/2009




2 to 4 years. they will be closer friends and be able to relate to each other better.Post a reply!

Heather - posted on 12/08/2009




I think it really depends on the family and what kinds of things you want to do as a family. My older brother is three years older than me and my younger brothers are four years younger. I think it was perfect for our family and the types of activities that we enjoyed.

We wanted our first two kids to be only two years apart. But I forgot to start trying before he was two. By the time I did get pregnant again my son was already two. Which was fine. But I had two miscarriages and now my son is almost three and a half. And still no sibling. So when God is ready to give us another child he will. Sometimes its not a matter of our timing but his. I wanted my children to be close in age because I think that it works out well for activities when they are older. Its sometimes to find family activities when the kids are close to the same age and the same abilities. Like going to an amusement park. instead of having to split your time between kiddie rides and older kid rides, your kids would be riding the same rides.

I also think that sometimes it is easier for the child to adjust to a new sibling when they are younger. But sometimes it is nice to have an older child because then they might be able to help out more.

So mainly I think that the ideal age gap between siblings really depends on what you want it to be. Some people will say a few years and others will say many years and still others like me would prefer closer.

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