Masturbation - Biblically wrong or Socially?

Julie - posted on 03/01/2011

When you masturbate, what are you thinking about? Anything other than your spouse and it's automatically wrong.

If it's about your spouse? hmmm, well I personally am undecided on that one. But if you're single, it's wrong (I'm yet to meet a person who masturbates and isn't thinking lustfully about someone or something).

Sex toys in marriage is ok - whatever you do together with your spouse is fine.

Can someone answer me why though some people say anal sex with a spouse is wrong? Personally I think it's physically disgusting, but don't see anything in the bible that would condemn a married couple doing it.

I disagree that teens and unmarrieds should be masturbating. Lustful thoughts and behaviours are just as wrong as premarital sex - Jesus made it very clear that adultery of the heart is still adultery.

Many people have said things like "my spouse is away long periods of time, I use masturbation so I don't cheat". No offense, but that's not the attitude of a christian. That's like saying, "I feel angry so I kick the dog so I don't kick the kids".

If you have such lust that you have to resort to masturbation so that you don't have sex with someone else, please do not be hurt by this, but you need to speak to your pastor and get some help for your problem.

It's been more than four years since I lost my husband. We had a very "busy" sex life, doing it at least 2-3 times a week, most of the time though closer to 5-6 times a week, sometimes more. And I would usually be the initiator, and would have done it much more if he hadn't made excuses not to.

That's four years now without sex after having done it on a near daily basis for seven and a half years. And not once has adultery crossed my mind in those four years. I miss sex more than you can imagine, but going out and having it with someone without being married to them hasn't crossed my mind even for a split second.

There is no excuse for any sexual sin(or any sin at all actually) just because of so called "sexual frustration".

People need to practice self control - Jesus promised he'd be there to help us fight temptation, people just have to meet him half way.

Don't use the excuse of "it stops me from committing a bigger sin" to justify a smaller sin. Sin is still sin. We need to avoid ALL sin, big or small.

It all comes down to self control - if I can do it, then anyone can - I have a massively high sex drive when married, and I often had my needs not met when I was married (usually because my husband was too high on drugs to be able to "function") but I didn't masturbate because it's just not something you should do alone - Paul's writings made it very clear - the man's body belongs to his wife, and the woman's body to her husband - it's not our body to do with as we please - it's for our spouse's enjoyment.

If I can control myself for four years of no sex without the slightest desire to go out and get sex elsewhere after many years of doing it near daily (and wanting to do it with my husband far more), then there is absolutely no reason for anyone to claim "oh my husband is away for a time, I need to masturbate to not cheat".

No, sorry you don't need to masturbate to not cheat, you need to deal with your inappropriate desires. You are putting sex higher than God. The only thing you need is God. Everything else is just chaff that will be blown away.

I mean no offense, I'm just trying to help, and say things that others might not have the courage to.

Sex is not a need, sexual satisfaction (with someone else or by yourself) is not a need. They are desires and need to controlled accordingly

Christa - posted on 03/22/2010

In our premarital classes this question came up and our pastor said that there's nothing biblically wrong with it and if it takes away the temptation of pre-marital sex or promiscuity then it should be used, but like Mandy, he said that it really shouldn't be used in marriage because sex is something that should be between the two of you. Obviously the use of porn, is biblically wrong. That's my knowledge on the subject. :-)

Brittney - posted on 03/23/2010

I believe porn is a sin, but with masturabation even with toys as long as the thoughts are on the spouse are fine. My husband is military and is gone for long periods of time, sometimes you have to resort to maturabation or sex toys to keep your thoughts from finding someone else. There has been many times in my marriage that it has been tempting to go and find someone else to take my husbands place, when he is gone for months at a time. I believe that masturabtion can be used as a lonely wives or husbands resource to keep from commiting adultry.

Carla - posted on 01/08/2013

No, Seth, I don't buy it. There HAD to be a 'straw that broke the camel's back' event. If you would like to private message, we can talk.

Thank you for the kind words. But, sadly, without the Love of Jesus, I am a vain, selfish narcissist. I was petty--I TRIED to be 'good', but failed miserably. I had been wounded badly by my first husband, and ended up in more adultery than you could shake a stick at, $20,000 in debt to the Mall, my health took a horrible dump so I lost my good job--my best friend in the entire world pumped me full of pills and seduced my husband and they put me in a mental ward. THAT was my 'aha' moment--when I KNEW I needed Something more than religion. I actually met Jesus! That was 13 years ago, and today my husband and I are happier than we ever were!

So you see, honey, when I talk about 'religion', I think that's what most 'Christians' think gets them to God. But religion only further puts you in bondage. A Relationship with the Creator of the Universe brings a joy I can't describe to you. This is why I pound these forums. Religion gives Christians a bad name. It's the Love of Jesus that will change us from the inside and show the world we have Something they really can't live without.

God bless

Lynette - posted on 03/23/2010

The Love shared between a husband and wife is not defined by Lust. Lust is physical and short term feelings. It is a desire to want to use somebody's body and damp them. The love between spouses comes from a deeper attraction that grows from eros love and has all components from philial and agape love. it is pure love which is designed to grow daily. Sex between spouses is an ultimate show of thier love for each other.

The bad thoughts you talk about are as a result of watching pornography or reading such.

Lika - posted on 03/22/2019

My dear friend Sarah K taught me that masturbation is a gift from God. We must honour him, give thanks and offer back to him the gifts of our body and sexuality. We do that by masturbating ourselves, it is between us and him. Our sexuality is for the intimacy and creating of life with husband (wife for a man).But it is primarily about God, imagining him (which like all things it does poorly.) Orgasm is a foretaste of the ecstasy we have when we stand before him, that is why it is in marital sex as the uniting of the two bodies images God and has the potential to create new life. But through masturbation it is between us and him. It is also beautiful and all beauty comes from God. (That is not to say beauty can not be abused. If masturbation is being used to escape something it is being abused.) my thanks to those who made the below, and thanks to my dear friend Sarah.


I have four youtube videos and an article for you.
(First one does not specifically relate to Christians.)

Youtube

Do Women Masturbate? askmygirlfriend
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8dN3F1T...

Is Masturbation a Sin? sexplanations
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwGGV9TB...

Can Christians Masturbate? | God is Grey
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8U4xe41...

This one is especially valuable.
Christian Masturbation Myths - The Truth That's Been Hidden
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-evPcLmn...

Articles

Is it wrong for a Christian woman to masturbate
https://thegiftofsex.com/2014/04/25/is-i...

This one deals with 'lust'
“Whoever Looks at a Woman With Lust”: Misinterpreted Bible Passages #1
https://www.jasonstaples.com/bible/most-...

Gergana - posted on 09/25/2016

Jesus said it : ,,So if your eye--even your good eye--causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. .... And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away'' Nothing said about the left hand thaw . So continue to masturbate only with the left hand and God won't punish you :)

Sofia - posted on 06/30/2016

No, it's not wrong in either context as long as it's done in private

A - posted on 02/18/2016

I don't know whether it's wrong or not, I guess it depends on the intent/motivation behind it. I can see problems with porn because it objectifies (usually) women and paints them as these eager-to-please guys and gives the impression that ALL women are expected to act like porn stars in the bedroom. (I know there's many different kinds of porn out there, I get that). Also, sex (anything sexual) is a PRIVATE act and watching porn encourages voyerism as well. That said, manyt people do masturbate without porn, and just using the inside of their head/imaginations. That COULD be OK, but aren't you then objectifying the person you're thinking of? Putting expectations on them to fully pleasure you without doing anything for them?

It's possible a person might think of a faceless lady (or man) or just about what they're physically feeling. They may do this with the intent of releasing pressure and frustration so they are LESS likely to pressure their spouse/significant other. They may want to release tension to improve concentration and just be more comfortable. It's hard to say how much is too much. I've been told that to increase one's sex drive, that one should masturbate MORE and get in tune with their body. I've been told also that your body will get used to "cumming" and then will epect it, so it's sort of a doublt-edged sword.

My biggest issue with my son is that we live in a VERY small place and there is virtually NO time alone for anyone unless they're in the shower and that time is limited anyway because there are 5 people living there! NO ONE is allowed to spend a lot of time alone in their room (they share a bedroom with a sibling) or bathroom because it is selfish and deprives others (nothing to do with masturbation, obviously). Because of that "no time alone", my sons can't masturbate without two female siblings (and me) in the next room or each other in their bedroom (and NO ONE is to shut their sibling out of their own room). So ... the opportunity isn't there. My oldest does it in the shower and his sister walked in on him because she really needed to go and he kept telling her to wait (he knew she would have to go bad right after school and he wasn't supposed to be showering at that time anyway).

I don't think it's bad per se, and the only biblical reference to it I can find is Onan, who spilled the seed. But that was because he pulled out during sex because he wanted money for himself. So it had nothing to do with masturbation. Yes, it states numerous times that if you lust in your heart... but that goes for both genders and doesn't necessarily have to do with masturbation. I would also think that with married couples who are trying to improve their sex life and get to know their own and each other's bodies better, mutual masturbation would be a good idea. I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all provided you treat it the same way you do any sex act: not in sight/ear shot of the kids or where they could walk in on you

Just my opinion

Analisa - posted on 11/13/2015

Pleasure yourself who the fuck cares. Never stopped me from being successful and no body should give a shit what you do with your own body. Fuck whoever you want and touch yourself whenever you want.

Seth - posted on 01/07/2013

Carla,

I left the idea of a god behind based solely on logic and reasoning. I am 110% atheist and better for it. I still attend church twice a week with my wife because it was important to her.

You seem like a sincerely nice person. You'd probably find me to be a nicer than your normal guy kind of guy. If we met in person, without you knowing I was an atheist you'd likely think I was an upstanding good christian based on my lifestyle.

Based on responses you've given to other people you also seem to be very caring. I would hope, and I believe based on what I've seen, that even without the idea or thought of a creator you would still be the same nice sweet person.

It took me 2 years of mental gymnastics to get to the point where I could finally say I was an atheist, it wasn't easy, it was a bit scary, and when the day finally came, it was almost a bit lonely feeling, but I realized everything I believed was only real because I believed it. Not because it was any more real than any other god that mankind has created over the millenia.

So anyways, that's a bit of why I'm recovering. No bad stuff...

Carla - posted on 01/07/2013

Seth- Why are you 'a recovering Christian'? Most people who 'fall away' do so because of people who have hurt them. This was the case with my husband. I am truly sorry if this was the case with you, too. We expect Christians to be different. And indeed, if you truly have repented and turned to God, you ARE a new person. Problem is, people get sucked into 'religion', and never find out what 'Relationship' is. I feel this might also be your problem as well.

True Love, Pure Love, comes from the Father. I pray you come to find this out.

User - posted on 01/07/2013

YOU SURE DON'T HAVE TO WATCH OR READ ANYTHING, AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE THINKING OF BEING WITH SOMEONE ELSE. IT'S ABOUT RELEASING AND MOVE ON. THINK ABOUT WHAT YOUR DOING NOT SOMEONE ELSE!!!

Seth - posted on 01/07/2013

Carla,

I'm a recovering christian. I know probably more than you do about the bible. I study it regularly. Though from my new atheist perspective I can now see it for what it is.

But I thank you for your assumptions that I don't know the bible. (you said "but you need to first have a working knowledge of the Bible to be able to do so intelligently") I think what you meant to say is that I need to be brainwashed into believing the supernatural aspects of the bible and therefore all of the bibles rules before I can post acceptingly in the forum. You aren't looking for intellegence.

Think about it. There are around 300,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 stars in the observable universe. That's the equivalent of 100 stars for every grain of sand on earth. Our star is an average sized star and is 1,000,000 times bigger than earth.

Do you really think a creator who created that many stars cares if you rub yourself before you go to sleep? I think not (actually I know not.)

Stop filling yourself with guilt and shame over it. Let yourself go. Enjoy yourself, enjoy your spouse.

I'm not trying to be incitful or that troll that says "god's not real" in a god forum, but when you're telling women that masturbation is wrong, that's just evil. Every boy that's ever been born has been doing it since he's 12, everyday, sometimes more. The ones that don't do it are the ones you have to watch out for. They end up becoming priests and molesting kids.

Most women I know who don't masturbate don't do it because of religious indoctrination. That's disgusting quit frankly. Because the boys are having all the fun.

Carla - posted on 01/07/2013

@John--first of all, in the old traditions, if a brother died and left no male child to carry on his name, the other brother (one unmarried), married her and the first male child was named after the deceased brother, to carry on the family line. Onan was sinning when he 'pulled out early', and that was rebellion on his part.

Second, Seth, this is a Christian forum. If you wish to add something worthy of the forum, that is fine, but you need to first have a working knowledge of the Bible to be able to do so intelligently. Sex was a special gift given to MARRIED couples. People in the old days married very early, so as to channel the urges to the marriage bed. Paul said 'it is better to marry, than to burn'. He was talking about burning with lust, which, if you don't have a partner handy, leads to masturbation. He also tells us to possess our vessels with honor. Mrs. Kostanza (Seinfeld) said to George, when she caught him masturbating 'you're treating your body like an amusement park!' Very true. Also very wrong. Our bodies are not meant only for sex, and if we would have continued in the values we were taught, this wouldn't be such a big issue. People got married, had sex often, and everyone was happy. If you doubt that Christians have good sex, read Song of Solomon. THAT was not written by a prude! But it was written to be within the confines of a healthy, loving, married relationship.

Your parting shot 'walk away from any religious wacko that tells you differently' shows your lack of intelligence in the matter. First of all, I do not consider myself in the least 'religious'. Religion kills, relationship saves. My relationship with Jesus is what I base my decisions in life and my advice here. Love is the difference between religion and a Christian. Jesus saved us, when we didn't deserve it, wiped our past away, and set us on the road to Heaven. Do you want a good night's sleep? Do you want to feel love, like you've never felt before? Fall on your knees before Jesus. This takes guts--most people don't have 'em. But if you do, you will never be sorry.

God bless

Seth - posted on 01/06/2013

Why do Christians have this puritan screwed up view of sex and sexuality?

Masturbation is fine. It's perfectly healthy, normal, natural. Walk away from any religious wacko that tells you differently.

And if you like being spanked? That's ok too!

Evelyn - posted on 12/31/2012

John? I agree with you.

John - posted on 12/30/2012

I just wanted to reply to the comment about Onan and Genesis 38,2-10, about God being displeased and killing Onan for spilling his seed. A lot of people use this verse against masturbation or using contraceptives.
I dont't believe God was mad cause he spilled his seed, but rather that Onan slept with his brothers wife in order to fulfill his obligation to his brother to continue his family line. Bit instead of doing that,Onan slept with Tamar...got his jollys and then spilled his seed so as not to make her pregnant. So basicaly he used her for sex with no intention of giving her a baby. Thats what God was mad at, not that his "seed' was waisted.

User - posted on 11/28/2012

Dont quote me but from what I got from some verses were that it is best for anyone to not do anything sexually because it helps to have a stronger focus on God. But being married your spouse has the authority over you. Masturbation is something you shouldnt do,





look at corinthians 7 principles of marriage, it will help you

Aiwan - posted on 10/14/2012

You cannot mastribute while reading books like bible. You need to think or watch something related to sex, which is wrong according to the word of God. My personel experince is, its so simple to stop it, by the help of Holy Spirit and Jesus

TRACY - posted on 10/10/2012

WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOUR HUSBAND CAN HAVE SEX ANY LONGER DUE TO ILLNESS, IS IT WRONG TO MASTERBATE?

Proud - posted on 12/28/2011

Personally I don't see the point in it. I'm 30 and didn't get married until I was 29 and I never masturbated during that time I wasn't married.

Cyndel - posted on 03/02/2011

Paul's solution to major sexual temptation for singles was marriage...not masturbation. I personally don't think singles should masturbate. If you have the gift of celibacy then you don't need it, if you don't then look for a spouse not a girl/boyfriend. Paul talks constantly about the Christian having self control over our bodies and mind, in a way that clearly states that it is completely possible, though not at all easy.

I agree that if spouses are separated for an extended length of time the I see no problem with it if you keep your thoughts on your spouse and don't allow lust into your mind...doing this simultaneously over the phone or web cam is a great way to keep from slipping into temptation.

ETA: I don't mean cheating temptation...I mean lustful thoughts temptation, one that is much easier to slip into then the other. Cheating starts with lustful sinful thoughts.

Cyndel - posted on 03/02/2011

Masturbation isn't spoken of in the bible directly. However lust is strongly spoken against. And I don't know anyone who doesn't lust while in the midst of masturbating, not even sure it is possible. If your married and you are thinking of your spouce that could still be a grey line because are you thinking of how your spouce is or how you wish they were, if your imagining how you wish they were then that is lust because that isn't your spouce that is a figment of your imagination that is not your spouce?
IF you can masturbate Without lusting, then there is no problem with it...if you can't then it is a path towards lusting and should be avoided.

Carla - posted on 03/01/2011

Hey, Julie, good stuff! I would say to your question about anal sex--that is not the 'natural' use of a woman. Paul talks about it in the first or second chapter of Romans. Not the specific, but if women are used contrary to the 'natural' or God-given use of sex, it is wrong.

Does that clear up things?

God bless, sweetie

Kathlene - posted on 06/06/2010

well i know for a fact that if you see something/someone and it makes you have sinful thoughts its sin...like king david/bathsheba (spelling yikes)if when masturbating you think of sinful.lustful.indecent thoughts of others it is sin....however if you can do this act without thoughts of such then no i dont believe it's a sin....of course if it's about your spouse (husband)then of course i dont believe this is a sin...after all God gave you each these acts to enjoy...sex isn't disdainful.or indecent when done in a committed relationship between husband and wife...watch those thoughts though!

Kimberly - posted on 06/06/2010

Well it is wrong I was taught because God says for us not to waste our seed....Also what are you thinking about when it is happening...are you lusting for someone...A sin can be by word, thought, or deed. So when in the act what are you thinking about and is it Godly?

Jessica - posted on 06/03/2010

I really think it depends on the situation...

a) spouse who would rather satisfy self than lay with partner = wrong, because you're not using your sexuality for the reason God gave it to you
b) spouse who is unable to participate (depression? surgery? re-assignment to another part of the world, etc) = perfectly fine, as long as they're not wishing they were with another person
c) spouses pleasuring one another = awesome
d) teenagers trying to figure out their bodies = fine, just don't make a public display about it
e) persons who are unmarried and not in a relationship = by all means, do that rather than have a one night stand with someone because the lust was too much
f) incarcerated persons = fine; better than forming a situational aliance with someone for sexual gratification

As far as *thoughts* go; that's where it gets sticky (no pun intended). I think there's a difference between lusting after someone and finding certain attributes arrousing. In my mind, as long as you're mostly thinking of your spouse and if there's only a sprinkle of imagery in there that may not involve your sig other, but it's not what you *want*, its just there to enhance the experience...then I think that's fine. However, if you're thinking of your co-worker while messin' in your business and not wanting to be with your husband....then it's wrong.

Shilene - posted on 06/03/2010

Genesis 38 8-10 talks about how Onan spilled his semen on the ground to prevent offspring with his brothers wife. In verse 10 it says "What he did was wicked in the LORD'S sight, so he put him to death." I'd say that's pretty clear on a biblical standpoint. I believe your question was weather or not it is biblically wrong.

My personal opinion is that God looks at our heart, so we should search our hearts as to why the masterbation is occuring and where it is coming from. Our heart condition is the root of weather or not it is sinful.

[deleted account]

if masturbation is a sin, then all guys are damned (at least every man I've met) .
masturbation is a better choice then cheating.

Bethany - posted on 05/19/2010

I was just in the bookstore reading about this very thing...the writer made a very good point but we have to start with satisfaction first...Sex has become such a taboo thing that we shy away from talking about it. Often times, women have sex but don't orgasm. It is hard to get to that point for whatever reason. We have preconceived ideas that it should happen every time, it should happen at the same time as our partner, and that it should just come. However, it is something that you almost have to learn how to do. If a woman rarely orgasms during sex, it can cause a stress and they won't know it to be the amazing thing that God created it to be. This means that we need to know our bodies well enough to help our husbands get to know us. If you masturbate with the intention of creating a better sexual experience for your partner, then there is not issue. We don't think twice about touching our stomachs or ankles, why are we so iffy about more sensitive parts? As stated before, it comes down to intentions. Should it be done on a regular basis? No, I don't think so, but it does have a place.

Dana - posted on 05/18/2010

Some people consider masturbation a means of reducing sexual tension when the normal sexual activity of married life is unavailable or as an alternative to adultery. On the other hand, such self-gratification may begin in lustful fantasies or selfish pleasure. Women should be aware of the danger of masturbating while fantasizing about a desired but inappropriate sexual partner, which Jesus equates with actual sexual intercourse. (Matt 5:27,28).



Scripture neither explicitly condones nor condemns it. Jesus does not mention it, nor does Paul include it in his list of vile passions (Rom 1:26-31). But, the moral and psychological ramifications of it can be disruptive to a relationship with God as well as others, especially marriage. Obviously masturbation does not fulfill God's plan for sexual intimacy between a husband and a wife (Gen 2:24),



Scripture advocates an ever-present awareness that human beings are more than sexual or physical. God is interested in our wholeness, which encompasses every area of life. And to put it simply: Would you want to be in the middle of this self-gratifying act at the moment Jesus came back? If not, then you might want to re-think it.



I am not condemning or necessarily disagreeing with anyone who is for or against it. It is a personal choice between you and God ultimately. You should always act/do as God leads.

Laura - posted on 05/17/2010

Ok so I talked to someone yesterday at church that is well studied in the bible and asked for their input on this matter. They told me that masturbation itself is not specifically addressed in the Bible. But what IS addressed is LUST. If you are performing Lust while masturbating then it is a SIN. However if you are thinking ONLY of your significant other while masturbating that is not lust and therefore not a sin.

Tina - posted on 04/21/2010

I have to agree that masterbation is a SIN...I have been there and dont that...and the feeling afterwards appease you but does not satisfy you.... SEX is ment to be between a married woman and man! How are we to glorify God if we are being selfish! And for the single ones, you are to control yourself, even as Christ. That feeling of having SEX is to be found out and overwelming when you experience it the first time..... being married!! This Carnal world we live in wants us CHRISTIANs to think its OK.... but its NOT...it is WRONG and AGAINST GOD! You know satan makes alot of things seem deired, unhurt, good, and plentyful....HOWEVER we are DECEIVED.... he came only to steal kill and distroy...but CHRIST came that we may have LIFE more ABUNDANTLY! Think about it!!!!

Elizabeth - posted on 04/21/2010

I would have to say that Masturbation is a sin, it takes away from couples. between two loved ones. But not really sure if someone is single???

Chelsea - posted on 04/20/2010

Masterbation is a selfish act. Glorifying self and the body. We are to glorify God. The enemy has used sex and masterbation as a trap because it feels good. We were meant to make love to one another in matramony. God created us to do so for reproduction and pleasure. (I Corinthians 7) Let us not be decieved like eve in the garden of eden. She saw that the fruit was pleasing to the eye, good for food, and that after she ate nothing happened. Masterbation is pleasing to the BODY, feels good to the BODY, and after we partake our Body is satisfied. But according to I Thessalonians we are three-fold beings: Spirits who live in Bodies who posses Souls. Our Spirits are often cast into tiny insignificance, while we please our flesh. Which is what satan wants. Adam and Eve were naked in the garden together and this pleased God. The bible does not say that they made love there, but God gave them all the tools. If they would have in His presence it would have been according to His order. However, if they were to masterbate it would make no sense and be disorder. That is what happened when sin entered into the world. Let us not confuse ourselves with this world, we are in it, but not of it.

Silke - posted on 04/11/2010

I have belonged and as growing up to learn must that thoughts which with sexual hire themselves concern or the secret masturbation sin are.
My mother was very young and without family as I was born. It looked for support, which belonged in a very small faith municipality with our landlady.
She brought to it the religious community to follow and soon had we constantly visit of the priest with its wife, who wanted to surely help my mother with good intention a good God child to become.
Since I was not old at that time only 5 to 6 years understood why my mother the wife of the priest like a spare mother admired, which with us at home much certain, where I with its visits, which prayer and Bible hours always again heard that my mother must entrust its bad sensuous and sin thought regretful to her and that she is to be ashamed and learn at the Bible hours sin ideas to renounce.
Sex would be intended only with material desire to have children by God and a God child should good take good heed of. As a child I did not understand that it by the woman of the priest the anger of God over itself be issued to therefore let had.

Sandra - posted on 04/08/2010

i've read somewhere that it's not wrong as long as it doesn't interfere with your marriage and you're not thinking of other people in that moment.

Jessica - posted on 03/31/2010

I can find book, chapter, and verse, on this matter for men. My question is: Is it sinfull for women to masturbat?

Carla - posted on 03/31/2010

Masturbation is not spoken of, per se, in the Bible, but Paul talks a lot about learning how to possess your vessel in honor. Paul found a relationship in Jesus that allowed him to be celebate. I am sure the wives and husbands in the Bible days were without spouses for long periods of time, as they went every spring to fight a war. This all sounds well and good, until it's you laying there in the dark---. Been there, done that, and I will say, as several others have pointed out here, that the feeling afterward was one of feeling disappointment in myself. I am learning that being a Christian sometimes means we are not able to have instant gratification, sometimes we just have to tough it out, and pray for help! Pray about it, and see what God shows you.

Laura - posted on 03/30/2010

I don't know about biblicly wrong or anything like that but I will be completely honest.

I use masturbation from time to time. My husband and I have opposite schedules and he works nights. Sometimes when I am really stressed out and have a lot of my mind and can't sleep I use masturbation (only thinking of him wishing he was there) to help my body relax so that I can fall asleep. If he was home then I'd just let him take care of the need. I don't do porn I think it is quite disgusting and that IS biblicly wrong. I just think about my husband wishing he was there. I'd rather take a few minutes to relax myself that way then spend hours tossing and turning and be a cranky wife and mommy the next day.

Yolande - posted on 03/30/2010

I also definitely recommend the course, Laugh your way to a Better Marriage by Mark Gungor. Its really great and sheds light on masturbation amongst other things. Even single people and teenagers should definitely watch it!

Sarah - posted on 03/30/2010

thank you for all your opinions and help. It is greatly appreciated xxx

Valerie - posted on 03/26/2010

I feel that you will never get your answer this way because it's just to many opinions, But I feel it is wrong biblically because when you become Christ like you have to live in the way Jesus would, ask yourself would Jesus masturbate, really would he and what ever answre you come up with apply it, but back to my first statement you have to pray and ask God what the answer is and when you least expect it it will be answered, Thats what I do it really works.

Heather - posted on 03/25/2010

I think that it goes along the line of perversion and defiling the temple. Sex was created as we all know for marriage. So if God intented for us to do it alone, then there wouldn't be a need for sex between a husband and wife. Sex is undefiled in marriage so...

Sonia - posted on 03/25/2010

I have often debated this topic myself. I tend to live by the rule "what would Jesus do" and when it comes to masturbation...I just can't imagine the Lord Jesus doing this. I do not believe there is an answer in the Bible..so this is the frame of referance I have been using when teaching my children.

Maricel - posted on 03/25/2010

i think everyone is right...it's our relationship with God...i used to do it but i was feeling guilty about it so i stopped...i always had a this heavy feeling after, even if it felt right at the moment...but everyone should decide for themself...

Amy - posted on 03/25/2010

I think like other behaviors not expressly called out in the Bible, it's for us to decide. I think it's okay in moderation, and should be used by teens or unmarrieds instead of giving in to premarital sex. I think God designed us for masturbation for a reason, though like others have said, it shouldn't interfere with a marriage relationship.

I think Dana has an interesting perspective, too. What are married people to do when separated for long periods of time? There was a defined "war season" in early Israel when men would be gone from their families.

I just can't imagine that it's inherently wrong. I think it's just intensely personal, and between an individual and God.

Dana - posted on 03/25/2010

ok my Hubby is in Iraq so would it be wrong for me to use a toy cause i dont think they will let he travel across the world just to give me some. That has really been making me wonder.

Lisa - posted on 03/25/2010

I have often wondered about this question and I'm not exactly sure on the answer its one that only God knows. However when men and women have abstained for extremely long periods I believe their pent up sexual frustrations have led to other sins......beating children,children being raped, yes I'm talking about the orphanages from the past.

Sheila - posted on 03/24/2010

There are guidelines for this as there are for all aspects of our lives. The ''marriage bed is undefiled'' and if in doubt, there was also some discussion in the Bible about if eating the meat offered to idols was wrong. The response,if it is sin to you, then to eat the meat is sin.

Jennifer - posted on 03/24/2010

I believe there are two different ways to look at it. I think when it is bred from lust, of course it is wrong, biblically. The bible's views on lust are very clear and impossible to argue with.

For simple relief purposes, especially for men, it's different. Once puberty is hit, there is a build up that can be released either voluntarily or involuntarily. I am not going to get more detailed than that; hopefully we all can use our logic on that one. I do not believe that from a scientific purpose it could be wrong...just a thin line to cross between the two.

In a marriage, if a wife is not withholding sex or "attention" then a man shouldn't have a need for it. For wives who may not take care of that for their spouses, keep this in mind. Men who "release" at least weekly have a very high decrease in prostate cancer. I have the study somewhere and if you want proof, shoot me a message and I will send it to you.

Jennifer - posted on 03/24/2010

I believe there are two different ways to look at it. I think when it is bred from lust, of course it is wrong, biblically. The bible's views on lust are very clear and impossible to argue with.

For simple relief purposes, especially for men, it's different. Once puberty is hit, there is a build up that can be released either voluntarily or involuntarily. I am not going to get more detailed than that; hopefully we all can use our logic on that one. I do not believe that from a scientific purpose it could be wrong...just a thin line to cross between the two.

In a marriage, if a wife is not withholding sex or "attention" then a man shouldn't have a need for it. For wives who may not take care of that for their spouses, keep this in mind. Men who "release" at least weekly have a very high decrease in prostate cancer. I have the study somewhere and if you want proof, shoot me a message and I will send it to you.

Sue - posted on 03/24/2010

My personal belief is that God wouldn't have made it feel so good if it was so wrong., Worrying about this is getting a little bit too carried away, If its done with your spouse to add more to their sex life so be it. Or alone to ease away other temptations.

Evelyn - posted on 03/24/2010

In a math situation, x + y=z (I may be wrong)! However, I will like to answer your question with a few questions of mine, perhaps we'll all find the answers together.

* what is our relationship with God? * how do we feel after masturbation ?
*with our limited knowledge, do we think God throws a party in heaven when we masturbate? *if our temples truly are the temple of God, what value does masturbation add to it?
The bible may not state in clear terms that masturbations is wrong, but it also does not say we should kiss our kids, wear them clean pyjamas and put them to sleep, but we do that, don't we? Why? Because we know that's the right thing to do...

I personally have and I am still developing a deeper and holy relationship with God, I don't think that masturbation works into the equation.