
Sarah - posted on 03/22/2010 ( 72 moms have responded )
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Hi, this is a question that comes up every now and then in discussions with christians and non christians alike and i always find myself without an answer. Does anyone know or have any ideas? Is it Biblically wrong, or just socially or other?
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Julie - posted on 03/01/2011
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When you masturbate, what are you thinking about? Anything other than your spouse and it's automatically wrong.
If it's about your spouse? hmmm, well I personally am undecided on that one. But if you're single, it's wrong (I'm yet to meet a person who masturbates and isn't thinking lustfully about someone or something).
Sex toys in marriage is ok - whatever you do together with your spouse is fine.
Can someone answer me why though some people say anal sex with a spouse is wrong? Personally I think it's physically disgusting, but don't see anything in the bible that would condemn a married couple doing it.
I disagree that teens and unmarrieds should be masturbating. Lustful thoughts and behaviours are just as wrong as premarital sex - Jesus made it very clear that adultery of the heart is still adultery.
Many people have said things like "my spouse is away long periods of time, I use masturbation so I don't cheat". No offense, but that's not the attitude of a christian. That's like saying, "I feel angry so I kick the dog so I don't kick the kids".
If you have such lust that you have to resort to masturbation so that you don't have sex with someone else, please do not be hurt by this, but you need to speak to your pastor and get some help for your problem.
It's been more than four years since I lost my husband. We had a very "busy" sex life, doing it at least 2-3 times a week, most of the time though closer to 5-6 times a week, sometimes more. And I would usually be the initiator, and would have done it much more if he hadn't made excuses not to.
That's four years now without sex after having done it on a near daily basis for seven and a half years. And not once has adultery crossed my mind in those four years. I miss sex more than you can imagine, but going out and having it with someone without being married to them hasn't crossed my mind even for a split second.
There is no excuse for any sexual sin(or any sin at all actually) just because of so called "sexual frustration".
People need to practice self control - Jesus promised he'd be there to help us fight temptation, people just have to meet him half way.
Don't use the excuse of "it stops me from committing a bigger sin" to justify a smaller sin. Sin is still sin. We need to avoid ALL sin, big or small.
It all comes down to self control - if I can do it, then anyone can - I have a massively high sex drive when married, and I often had my needs not met when I was married (usually because my husband was too high on drugs to be able to "function") but I didn't masturbate because it's just not something you should do alone - Paul's writings made it very clear - the man's body belongs to his wife, and the woman's body to her husband - it's not our body to do with as we please - it's for our spouse's enjoyment.
If I can control myself for four years of no sex without the slightest desire to go out and get sex elsewhere after many years of doing it near daily (and wanting to do it with my husband far more), then there is absolutely no reason for anyone to claim "oh my husband is away for a time, I need to masturbate to not cheat".
No, sorry you don't need to masturbate to not cheat, you need to deal with your inappropriate desires. You are putting sex higher than God. The only thing you need is God. Everything else is just chaff that will be blown away.
I mean no offense, I'm just trying to help, and say things that others might not have the courage to.
Sex is not a need, sexual satisfaction (with someone else or by yourself) is not a need. They are desires and need to controlled accordingly
Christa - posted on 03/22/2010
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In our premarital classes this question came up and our pastor said that there's nothing biblically wrong with it and if it takes away the temptation of pre-marital sex or promiscuity then it should be used, but like Mandy, he said that it really shouldn't be used in marriage because sex is something that should be between the two of you. Obviously the use of porn, is biblically wrong. That's my knowledge on the subject. :-)
Brittney - posted on 03/23/2010
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I believe porn is a sin, but with masturabation even with toys as long as the thoughts are on the spouse are fine. My husband is military and is gone for long periods of time, sometimes you have to resort to maturabation or sex toys to keep your thoughts from finding someone else. There has been many times in my marriage that it has been tempting to go and find someone else to take my husbands place, when he is gone for months at a time. I believe that masturabtion can be used as a lonely wives or husbands resource to keep from commiting adultry.
Carla - posted on 01/08/2013
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No, Seth, I don't buy it. There HAD to be a 'straw that broke the camel's back' event. If you would like to private message, we can talk.
Thank you for the kind words. But, sadly, without the Love of Jesus, I am a vain, selfish narcissist. I was petty--I TRIED to be 'good', but failed miserably. I had been wounded badly by my first husband, and ended up in more adultery than you could shake a stick at, $20,000 in debt to the Mall, my health took a horrible dump so I lost my good job--my best friend in the entire world pumped me full of pills and seduced my husband and they put me in a mental ward. THAT was my 'aha' moment--when I KNEW I needed Something more than religion. I actually met Jesus! That was 13 years ago, and today my husband and I are happier than we ever were!
So you see, honey, when I talk about 'religion', I think that's what most 'Christians' think gets them to God. But religion only further puts you in bondage. A Relationship with the Creator of the Universe brings a joy I can't describe to you. This is why I pound these forums. Religion gives Christians a bad name. It's the Love of Jesus that will change us from the inside and show the world we have Something they really can't live without.
God bless
Lynette - posted on 03/23/2010
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The Love shared between a husband and wife is not defined by Lust. Lust is physical and short term feelings. It is a desire to want to use somebody's body and damp them. The love between spouses comes from a deeper attraction that grows from eros love and has all components from philial and agape love. it is pure love which is designed to grow daily. Sex between spouses is an ultimate show of thier love for each other.
The bad thoughts you talk about are as a result of watching pornography or reading such.