My daughter walked away from the Lord because her boyfriend isn't christian :( how can I help her understand she is living in danger?

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Shauna - posted on 07/15/2011

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Hi,

I am a single mom who raised 3 young men.
I have something for you.
After not being able to sleep at night, crying and everything else through raising them alone, they turned out great!
First you said "she walked away from the Lord".
Well, no she did not, she just thinks she did.
Here's where you stand in the gap.
Not the way we usually do, but let me tell you how.
You write down all your concerns with her.
All of them.
Then you turn it into a prayer.
I have what I call the prayer for my children.
Make sure your prayer includes every concern you have with her.
Then tell God that you have done all you can and now you are releasing her to him.
Say the prayer everyday without fail.
Tell on her, but in a prayer.
I guarantee you, you will start to sleep better at night and you will slowly begin to see a change.
Include in your prayer this
"Lord open her mind, give her wisdom and bring her back to you".
All that's happening is she is exercising her right to make decisions without you.
Now sit back and watch God take the reigns.
Tell him everything you want her to be.
Example She walks in the house after curfew.
You say " I'm glad your home safe, now I can go to bed".
When she defies you. You say
" you are a beautiful woman of God and you will make the right decision". Trust me your'e just moving to a new level with God right now.
You should hear me in my car sometimes.
This is what I say to God.
" God, your son is on my nerves, I'm not even dealing with it, you handle it". It's funny, but I truely treat them like they are his now, not mine.
You will be amazed.
They are young men now and I will tell you God has worked it all out.
God Bless You.
Breathe and give it to him.
He will fix it so it does not break anymore.
This approach not only puts them in their place, but us too.

User - posted on 05/06/2011

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Yes I agree I believe you can't talk to your kids about gods love they need to see it you and how we love them unconditionally. All I do is advice her about things that might have a negative impact on her life and I know she appreciates my advice cause she has told me. She is very smart and wether she takes my advice or not I will still love her and respect her.

Lana - posted on 05/06/2011

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I agree with Nicole. I came from a religious family. My dad still continues to talk about god in every conversation. Which I am pushed further and further away. If she chooses to do other things you need to accept her for who she wants to be, if not you will def push her away and maybe ruin the relationship forever. Just let it be and love her for being your daughter.

Theresa - posted on 05/06/2011

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I'm not sure there's much you can tell her that she probably doesn't already deep down know. Just pray, pray, pray for her. Keep things open between you two so she has a "lifeline" back to the Lord.

Stetor7 - posted on 07/13/2011

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I'm not sure what you can do to convince your daughter that she is living in danger, but, I do know that you have to pray earnestly for her and the boyfriends soul.I am considering fasting also for my daughter. She just moved out of my home a day ago.

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Carla - posted on 07/14/2011

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I think we need to be careful with telling falsehoods, no matter what our intentions. We are, bottom line, trying to model Christian lifestyle, and God takes a dim view of lies. The prodigal son spent quite a bit of time in the pig pen before he figured out it wasn't quite what it was cracked up to be. He came to his senses, and came home. I'm sure his father was on his knees, praying protection and restoration to his family.

We live a different life than the world. We have to make very sure we are showing Christ in every situation.

God bless, sweetie!

Carla - posted on 07/14/2011

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Very good, Pamela. Fasting is a lost art nowdays, but it is one of the best tools we, as Christians, have. I pray your daughters understand what they are missing when they walk away from the loving Jesus. I'll pray for your's, and you pray for mine. She is 44 and VERY stubborn.

God bless, all

Anne - posted on 05/10/2011

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Hi Brenda as a mom of 2 daughters one living for The Lord, one riding the fence I can tell you the one WORST THING I did was try to be the holy spirit for my oldest daughter. All it did was almost cost me our relationship. One thing that has helped soften our daughters heart is when I treat her with the same respect I do her younger sister that is living for The Lord. Yes I was for lack of a better word stupid enough to treat our oldest daughter differently than her sister. I AM NOT SAYING I condone the sin in her life. BUT now I am not judging her. I will keep the both of you in my Prayers.

Carla - posted on 05/10/2011

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The Scripture I hold to is 'teach them in the ways of the Lord, and when they are old, they will not depart'. (Deuteronomy) We have a daughter we haven't seen in 11 years, and she lives 17 miles a way. It tore our family apart. But nothing you can say changes things--only God can do that. So, as the other girls have said, pray, pray, pray.

God bless, honey, there are a lot of us out there in the boat with ya.

Michelle - posted on 05/09/2011

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As a mom of 2 adult children, I can sympathize. Ive learned to keep my mouth shut most of the time, BUT, lol, prayer ALWAYS works. My kids know where I stand on things, so I say my piece (short, to the point) and then leave it. God works the rest out (with prayer and faith). I also talk to God and remind him of his word (He is faithful and just to COMPLETE a good work in us) and there is another one that says "A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps."

[deleted account]

I know the more you "advise" her the farther it pushes her away.
I have a daughter, 18 now, who fell in love with her youth pastor when she was 17. He's almost 30, married w/ 2 children the sam ages as my 2 youngest. She was a baby in the Lord and eager for a boyfriend in the church. She was texting him until I found out and took it to our pastor. I thought it was cleared up. She started texting this other guy a little while after. come to findout this other guy was the same man. I forbid it, fought, argued, negotiated, etc. She started sneaking out, lieing about who she was with, were she ent, etc. When she turned 18, I had to tell her to leave because of the influance she was having on the 2 younger girls who looked up to her. Now she is completely out of church and engaged to this man. Her mindset right now is, "as long as I am living in sin I wont be in church because I'm not a hypocrite". She would rather burn in eternal hell fire than repent and move out. WOW! I learned from all this that you cant push thm to do what you want them to do because when they get the chance, they are going to do what they want. I tried to blame it on my parenting, but I tried to raise her the best I could.
Pray, pray, pray. God said his word would never return to him void. The power of our prayers can move mountains if you believe it. Faith is our weapon against he enemy.

Elizabethe - posted on 05/09/2011

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All you can do is be there for her and pray for her.... sometimes you have to just release her to god. I walked away from GOD for about 10 years and I had to learn it was a relationship with god and not the church that I needed. My ex and I never agreed on how we were going to raise our kids. He is catholic and I am just a spiritual person I was raised baptiste to very different backgrounds. It all became to much of a battleground. Anyway I digress she will find her way back just pray and release her to god. He will welcome her back with open arms when she is ready. I hope that helps a little.

User - posted on 05/06/2011

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Yes I understand Rachel its so hard to see how the devil wants to destroy our children. But we have to put all of our trust in God and He will take care of the situation. I pray to God that He will keep her from harms way and that she can realize how much she is hurting Him with her actions. I do tell her every time I see her how much I love her and that no matter what I will always be here for her. I know she hurts because her boyfriend is a party animal always drinking and cussing which is totally the opposite of her but she still wants to be with him. I pray God opens her eyes and make her realize how much she is worth and how little her boyfriend appreciates her.

Rachel - posted on 05/06/2011

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If you have raised up her for the Lord whe will come back, its sad tthough, My son got married to a girl that never went to church and now he want even speak of God not unless its bad, so all i can do is pray for him and trust that the Lord will open his eyes

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 05/06/2011

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If you do not want to absolutely lose your relationship with your daughter, you may want to tell her exactly how you feel..... which she probably knows. But also, tell her if that is what she wants to do..... you do not agree with it but that you do not want to lose her in your life so you still want to see her. It sounds like you are pushing her away. People make bad decisions, we learn by them! There is not dark without light. So let her do what she wants, as she is old enough to expirament and live how she wants and in the mean time, you can pray for her and maybe once a year invite her to a church event, but do not push it on her. She knows your beliefs, and she knows what she is doing. The only thing you can do is accept she is living her life. Also, start to think about the possibility that she may never believe in God again, and how you want your relationship with her to go if this is the case. Even if you do not approve, it could push you two apart. So you should focus on accepting that you both disagree, short term or long term, and then try finding what you do have in common....... or keeping things in common. Even if it's lunch once a week, or an outing once a month to a water park, hike, or mall. The hardest thing for her is losing you and dealing with all the judgement you are giving her.... so she is probably suffering from all your worrying. Just give her time, space, and work on what you can do. Which is accepting to disagree, long or short term. And hope for the best ♥

User - posted on 05/06/2011

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Yes I am praying with all my heart for her as well as for him. Since both her dad and I aren't really approving about her relationship with this guy, it seems like she no longer wants to even have a relationship with us anymore which is really hurting us. Our daughter has been an honor roll student getting ready for med school and when he came along all her plans just seemed to vanish :( ... I know God is in control I have faith He will take care of this situation.

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