DId you wait to potty train, or home-school at the same time? Two birds with one stone kind of thing...

Jennifer - posted on 01/04/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )




My 2 yr old is our princess (shhhh, don't tell her), so we've let her get away with things. OUr 1 yr old boy is a wild man we can't hold back.

I am wondering, since we've delayed on potty training with our 2.5 year old, should we just wait until next year, when she'll start to potty train herself (in theory), then potty train our 1 year old (who will be 2 then) at the same time???

Is this just lazy? :lol: Just tired, that's probably more like it.

Also I wonder about home-schooling. Having a master's degree in teaching, I am thinking I should use it to preschool my own kids. I could start the older one now, and try to fight with the 1 yr old to keep him occopied while bigger sis does school stuf. -OR- I could wait a year and start them together.

That is the benifit to having them close together right; they'll do more of the same things at the same time? It seems like it will save me time, money, and energy.

anybody do some things similiar to this??


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Jerin - posted on 01/06/2009




We always included our younger ones in the potty training process, but except for a few brief successes with the middle of our close group (the girl), it really didn't work out that way.  The girls both made up ther minds to do it ON their third birthdays, the boys were just a couple of months later than that.


My oldest was really raring to go on the school thing, so I didn't hold him back for the others, but I did try to keep them in mind when I chose materials for him, and if they chose to be included, I let them join in. 


As they've gotten older (my close ones are 8, 9, 10 now), combining has gotten easier.  In the areas that my daughter is most advanced in (history, litrature, writing, science, French), she now combined with her older brother(1 yr ahead in age, 2 in 'school grade', as when they were in school, he was accelerated 2 levels and she was only accelerated 1).  On the things she needs more time on, like math and spelling, she combines with her younger brother (who hasn't been to school and hasn't had as much formal testing/identification).  He's 17 mo younger, and generally quick in her weaker subjects, and slower and needing individual work in her stronger subjects, so combining this way works well.  The oldest is in high school math on his own, and done with formal spelling work, and the older 2 can work on things like history and science together while I work with the younger one.  Also, having one a bit free at parts of the day allows them to help with their sister.  She's almost 4, and I give her a few minutes at the beginning of the day, and then she drifts in and out after that.

Emily - posted on 01/05/2009




I think parental attitude can totally effect the potty-training process. I was not ready to deal with it when my first turned 2... we were in the middle of planning a move. Then we were adjusting to living with my parents, then baby #3 was born, then two months later we moved again, then things finally calmed down enough for me to focus on her and to make some progress about three months after her 3rd birthday. Then a month ago we moved again and had setbacks from the holidays... in some ways I feel like I'm starting over with her.

I did potty-train my oldest two at the same time, because the younger one was already 2 also. The WEEK we made the most progress I did a "sticker check" (where I checked to see if they were dry... if they were they got a sticker... when they filled a notecard with stickers, they got a candy bar) every 15 minutes. It was the most exhausting week for me, but totally worth it. Both my kids already knew what to do on the toilet, and would gladly relieve themselves when I put them on... but they had no desire to stop their playing to go to the bathroom... which is still the problem we're having now.

Whether you're ready to start now or not, I got some great suggestions from the "No-Cry Potty Training Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley.

Jennifer - posted on 01/05/2009




OK, 3 posters said I should potty train :lol:, ok it's really mommy holding her back at this point. But our 1 year old has been sick all of his first year, and we haven't slept even close to through the night in that year (not to mention the no sleep older sibling),

. So really I think I'mm just too tired to attempt it more right now. I mean, if I'm not into it, she probably will sense my grouchiness about the work involved in it. I'll see how I feel in a month or so after my sons specialist appointment.

I do have to agree with Emily on the homeschooling. I've always had strong opionions on the matter, and I;ve always wanted to keep my kids home for a little while. We also do playdates, library, and numerous cousin visits. I also think kids can get overstressed by too much school pressure. On the other hand, my older child seems like she'd thrive in a traditional school setting; so we'll just wait and see.

I was feeling a stress that she was going to be 3 and I've done no formal preschool with her...athough yes, I totally agree that they learn so much by just hanging out with mom and good toy play. Then the younger one just soaks it all in too.

I think right now I am just too beat to do the schooling and the toilet, and wondered if anyone else felt the guilt and thought about just delaying it and let of the guilt!!

Emily - posted on 01/05/2009




I got my degree in Child Development, and based on my research, my experience, and lengthy discussions with my mother-in-law (who has taught elementary school for many years), here's what we've decided for our family:

1. Even if I sent my oldest to preschool... I'll still have two at home. By the time the second is old enough to go to preschool... I'll still have two at home. We find other ways to get one-on-one mommy time... and my oldest never really got that anyway because I got pregnant when she was only 3 1/2 months old.

2. I don't agree with the socialization things. I really don't want my 3 or 4 year old learning how to act in social situations from another 3 or 4 year old who also doesn't have a clue. This is where the long discussions with my mother-in-law, and my courses on social and cognitive development come in... Young children honestly do not have the mental capacity to fully understand right from wrong. They learn by example. Until about the age of 8, children are impulsive, and tend to lack control when they become upset, hungry, or tired.

Because of this, DH and I have decided to home-school until our children are at least 8... at that point we will give them the choice of remaining home, or finding a good school for them (public, private or charter).

We are also involved with a homeschooling group, a couple of local playgroups, we do community gymnastics classes, swim lessons, library story time, and will be starting a music class too... all these provide our children with extra time to interact with other kids their age.

Jessica - posted on 01/05/2009




In regards to the potty training- my 3 boys all potty trained right before turning 3 and each one learned a little younger than the one before. My daughter is 2 1/2 and she will be done any time now. It will save you time and money! But forcing them never worked for me. Talkinga bout it, offering the toilet at diaper changings and rewarding pee or poop landing in the toilet has been the most successful approach for us. Good luck!

Also, I have been in early ed. for 8 years and have tow things to say about the preschool thing.

1- Sending my older children to preshool a few hours a week was the best thing I ever did. It gave me one on one time with my latest newborn! I loved those hours that I could give them what my oldest had!

2- I think (prfessionally speaking) that the academics can be home schooled but the primary goal of preschool is social-emotional preparedness for K. Also, my older children always thrived when they had a time and space that was theirs. At preschool they were part of something they did not have share with the others. They could try new things, I wouldn't, couldn't have at home- develop new kinds of relationships, etc.

Anyway, You will know what is right for your kids and family- Trust your instincts and do what works!

Thanks for sharing...

Emily - posted on 01/05/2009




I agree with the previous poster. I have three girls (3 1/2, 2 1/2 and 1) and plan to homeschool for a few years at least. I would work on the potty-training right now. In my opinion, the earlier you start, the better. I started my second sitting on the potty when she was only 11 months old... because it was quite obvious when she needed to poop. By the time she was 13 months old she was asking to go on her own, and since 18 months she hasn't pooped in her diaper or underwear at all.

My first on the other hand... I kept delaying teaching her because we moved, then had a baby, then moved again... by the time I started really focusing on her, it took us a good six months to make any progress... and she still has regular accidents (though her younger sister has far fewer...).

I'm already working with the baby on potty stuff now too, it's just for fun and I figure anything that ends up in the potty is that much less I have to wash (we use cloth diapers).

As for the home-schooling... I'd probably wait on that one. I'd stick with more informal educational discussions and play. I really like the skill lists at http://www.geocities.com/heartland/fores... Basically they have lists of things kids should be learning while they're 2 or 3 or 4. So, between their second and third birthday they should be working on things on the age 2 list.

We're just now starting more formal preschool activities with my older two girls, and the younger one still doesn't quite have the attention span for most things. We just leave a lot of good educational toys around for the younger ones to play with while I help the oldest one.

Kate - posted on 01/05/2009




My second isn't born yet...I'm expecting this summer, DD will be 18 mo. I wouldn't wait to potty train, I think your older child is probably ready. If she knows when she needs changed, and especially if she knows when she is about to go, you could just pick a weekend when your DH will be home too and just do it. If she's not ready, then wait, but girls are usually ready sooner than boys and they train faster.

As for schooling -- I'd probably wait, but give your daughter lots of "educational" activities she can engage in. It doesn't have to be anything formal. Give both kids a tub of water and toys and use it as some teachable moments for her while the 1-year-old plays. You know? Nothing serious. I will probably do this with my DD even when my second is young. I think waiting a year until you start anything formal is fine, but your DD will learn a lot from you in the meantime.

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