AAAAAHHHH She's driving me crazy!!!!

Sarah Imbert - posted on 10/29/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )

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My husband's stepmother is quite pushy with her views & has decided that she's coming to visit for a week after I give birth in January. Yikes!!

She did give birth & raise 5 kids of her own in a previous marriage so she has valid parenting experience. She then divorced her first husband & then married my FIL 2 yrs ago. My husband & all of his siblings were already out of the house & doing well, so no parenting was needed from her. (Their mother passed away from cancer 4 yrs ago). She is my FIL wife but her insistence on stepping into the role of grandmother & mom & expecting everyone to be accepting of her new roles are a little too much sometimes & as the newest member of the clan it's overwhelming a lot of the time. Especially when she gives me unsolicited advice or tells me she loves me when we really don't know each other. I'm very close to my mom & reserved so I don't need a surrogate mom. I just want to get to know her.

I recently had emergency surgery after the surgeons found a twisted ovary & giant cyst that was causing horrendous pain & contractions. When I was in the hospital waiting for the test results & then post-op she was texting my husband asking him whether he'd done a Blessing over the baby & I telling him that I was denying him his parental rights if I didn't let him perform a prayer over me. He's Mormon, I'm Catholic & a Blessing is a Mormon ritual but prayer is prayer & my husband knows that I strongly believe in the strength of such a practice . He never asked me because he doesn't attend the Mormon church much any more & didn't see that he was worthy of performing the blessing right now. I have no problem with something like this if it brings him comfort & would not tell him absolutely not. She has expressed her concern in our having had surgery that we were endangering their grandchild. It was a life or death situation for the baby & I. We were close to going septic. She's also expressed her dismay that we are going to have the baby in a hospital. I'm high risk now & in no way eligible feasibly for her recommended home birth, which just is not appealing to me or my husband. She did nothing but home births so feels they're the only way to go.

I have 2 children from a previous marriage who are teenagers & very active in sports & activities & I let them go to summer camps, we participate in fairs with their livestock & stay over at their friends houses when they deserve to go. She's stated that its asking for trouble to let children out of your site & let them have sleepovers or attend camps. I know these are my children & I'm not going to change things because she doesn't approve but its already becoming an issue with our soon to be born son. She's pushing her beliefs on us a lot & is furious that I'm planning a baptism for my son. It's so passive most of the time but with her planning on being here for a weak post delivery I don't see things being restful at home. We don't have an extra bed so she's going to have to hotel it & I'm sure that will be an issue as well. Having someone so controlling in my home nonstop while I recover from giving birth & we're getting to know our little boy has my private nature & OCD tendencies kind of flipping out. Hopefully I will be able to do some yoga or tai chi to help with the stress.

Like I said I'm new in the family but this is all adding up & really creating stress for me. My husband doesn't want to upset his dad by saying anything. I guess this was more of a vent than a question but how would you handle a relatively new stepmother inlaw that insisted on butting in & expected to be treated as if she was grandma.

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