Help with mom in law and sis in law :(

Ms - posted on 03/25/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )

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I have problem that's bothering me. My mother in law trimmed my 7 month old son's hair without consulting me or my husband. She lives in a different state. But when she comes and visit, she likes to do things that she thinks is helping us. Like watering down the bottle of dish washing soap ( she's very frugal), giving us a lot of paper towels from dispensers she collects wherever she gets them from, cooks when there's food in the table already, grocery shop when we don't really need her to shop for food (we don't want her to buy food for us). She don't get the point that we are 32y/o and have house, stable jobs. We don't need money from her. We want to be independent. When we eat out, she would eat less of her food so my husband can bring it home, so he has food. She's a martyr.
Those are just some of the unacceptable things she has been doing. But what stung the most is the trimming of my son's hair.
What makes her think that I won't notice it? When my husband called her to ask her if she indeed cut it, she denied it at first. So my husband called me back to say that she didn't. But while we were talking, she was calling on the other line, my husband told me. So I told him to answer her and call me back. Then she admits to him she did it. She apologized to me through text saying that her hands got itchy to cut his hair and she don't know why! I told my husband that she texted me. He told me that he told her to call me. But she didn't. She called me later that night, maybe after a few calls from my husband to call me, and she left me a message on my voicemail. She was crying and apologizing and saying that we are very precious to her especially my son. She said she understand my situation as a first time parent.
I don't think she understood what she have done. It doesn't matter if it's the 1st, 2nd, 3rd...6th or 10th child, I would still feel the same way. I don't imagine her mother in law has done something like this to her before. My mother in law also does date a lot of guys. One after the next. And I've been exposed to all of them even when me and husband were still dating. I met around 5 men in her life altogether not including my husband's father.

Another problem is my sister in law. She was married once for 8 years. No kids. Then she divorced him and dated this 16years her senior doctor. She is very secretive and she knows how to use her charm to get what she wants. When she came over for my son's baptism, she would be on the phone with her boyfriend saying what's going on but tweaking them to make it sound more fun. For example, all of us are taking a vote to see who want to see a scary movie, daring each other. But it was just me, my husband and her who were just involved and NOT everyone. She would add things just to make it sound/feel that she has a perfect, everyone-could-dream-of kind of family. What else had she lied about just to gain the guys trust and love?

Before when she was married to her first husband, she don't post any pictures of him on her social media site or even wear her wedding ring, she won't wear anywhere. This time, with her boyfriend, she posts pictures, changed her profile with the guy, wear her promise ring and now wears a new engagement ring everyday. I really think she just used the 1st husband to earn her US citizenship.
I told my husband all about my feelings. My husband knows all these. Then one day I accidentally saw his texts with his sister. He told on me when I told him not to tell his sister all those things. Now that the sister know, she was about to shoot me an email on my birthday last week, it said on the text. But my husband told her not to since it's my birthday. Why would he tell her? He is my confidant and he would tell her? That's just making it worst. What else does he tell her? She has no business of whatever we talked about. In 2 months it will be my sister in law's wedding and I don't feel I want to go to the wedding. I feel it's history repeating itself. Like her mom, she change men like changing her underwear. My sister in law was still finalizing her divorce when she started dating the guy. That's what we know. But we really don't know exactly when they started dating. I am also already exposed to the new boyfriend's parents! I don't have to meet all these people in their lives but it seems like they make things happen for my husband to be there and they know the only way to have my husband there is when I am there too. And now We have a son, I don't want to drag him on this to. My husband doesn't know that I know about the texts. What should I do?

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