MIL didnt even show for my daughter's first bday!

Ally - posted on 03/22/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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So yesterday was my daughters first birthday and guess what crazy b***h didn't show up! i have always known that she was incredibly selfish but i would never have expected this even from her. Everything was going relatively ok until a couple weeks ago when she found out we were planning on inviting my husbands father whome she does not get along with and since this was the first birthday we have always up until now been able to do holidays and stuff separate. but she told us that he had to choose who were were gonna invite and we said that they would both be invited so she said she never wanted to talk to us again and would not be aattending. we kinda thought it was just one of her moods and she would show but nope she didn't...she left a gift in the door with 2 dvds in it for her first grandaughters first birthday. she always has to make everything about her...uughh...i seriously kinda hope she is serious about not talking to us ever again cuz that would make my life a whole lot easier...im just sooo pissed bc it seems like by not showing up yesterday she took it out on my daughter and made the whole day about herself!!!

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Melissa - posted on 08/04/2013

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Im in the total same situation as you. i invited over 50 people to my daughters first birthday which i held yesterday and guess who didnt show up ? no phone call no gift no call after saying that they werent coming!!? my inlaws ! who misses there granddaughters first birthday ?

Carrie - posted on 10/09/2012

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Nicole, Wow! I have the exact same situation. My MIL lives/works far away and I think FIL is lonely. urgghh. I get goosebumps thinking of him. He wants to put his son down in front of me and boasts his good sides. Eww. We live together in a compound so what I did was, I just locked myself in the house all the time. I never went out to talk to him especially when hubby is not around.



Ally, as for MIL, she did not show up for my baby's Christening and not one word of apology to me even if I invited her personally. She also did not come to see me or her grandchild in the hospital. I'm getting pretty used to her being a stranger to my daughter. So when she came over to tell my hubby that she wants to take my daughter to the park, I told her flat NO. She lost it and went away so fast! I just learned that if MIL does not consider my daughter's events important enough, then she should not be surprised to be treated like a stranger!

Tanya - posted on 03/26/2009

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Very very very sad on your mil's part. She will regret her choice in the end!

[deleted account]

Goodness that sounds soo familiar.



I have a situation similar to that except instead of the MIL it was the FIL. He is such an idiot. Since my husband and I have been married he has always tried to make my husband feel bad or look bad in my eyes with manipulation. He always though that by putting my husband down that he would hav eb etter chances of being with me, ugghhh!! AS if he had a chance. I was 23 at the time and he was nearly 50!!! Anyways...when all hell broke loose and we decided enough was enough with his crap he hit the roof! When he realized there was no option of "he and I" ever being together (mind you he already had a wife who was 17 yrs. younger than him already) he totally went off the deep end. He completely quit speaking to me and had nothing but ugly things to say and he totall bashed his son to death!! Anyways, he quit talking to us and didnt show up for the girls birthdays or anything. She came which was awkward as it was but it didnt really matter. The damage was done. Needless to say, he hasnt spoken to us for 2 yers and enither has his wife. They wont let their children talk to their brother (my husband is 32 and his youngest sibling is 7 yrs.old, lol) adn they do not acknowledge their grandchildren.



I have been quite happy for two years now and hope it satys that way!!!!! LOL

Sara - posted on 03/23/2009

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Your MIL sounds a lot like my mom!  My mother will not come to anything that any of my in-laws are at or my father because she hates them all soo much!  I always tell my mom that she is invited, but always know that she is not going to come.  Honestly, for me it is better she does not come because if she came and was uncomforturable, she would spend the entire party being confrontational and trying to pick deep discussion/fights with everyone.  The problem with comparing mothers and MILs is that great unconditional love that you have for your own mom.  I put up with way more crap from my own family than I will from my husband's.



I completely agree that she is being childish and that it is just going to punish your daughter in the long run, but she is also punishing herself!  At least she brought a present, my own mother does not even do that!  So, try to look on the bright side that she did not cause a bunch of dramma at your daughter's party itself, and if you can stand to talk to her again, keep inviting her to things and maybe time will heal her anger some (and your daughter starting to talk, because that really warmed my mom's heart), and maybe she will come in the future?



Good luck!  Lots of warm wishes and support.  I hope this helped a little!



Sara Mares

Emily - posted on 03/23/2009

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I can def. relate to you! I would have rathered my Step Mom-in-Law not show up to my sons first birthday, but instead she showed up and made it about herself rather than staying home and making it about herself. My father in law and his wife showed up the same time my Bro-in-law and his wife show up....my MIL came inside and said nothing to anyone, and my SIL stayed in the car because she was upset with the MIL and didn't want to be around her. So needless to say I was pissed that the SIL wouldn't even get out of the car and I made sure I said it loud enough for everyone to hear that I thought she needed to go home and not make my sons party about her, like she does most family events. Either way, I told everyone later in the party that we were going to do the cake, so I was getting all the grandparents to gather around Owen(my son) to watch him eat his cake...right after I tell the MIL that she goes outside to "talk" to the SIL...so now they have both missed pretty much the whole party. What pissed me off more is my FIL was taking pictures with his camera phone and sending to his wife who was right outside, but wouldn't come in to see her grandson (it's really her step-grandson, and she treats him like a "red headed step child" even though she claims not to) I kept saying to him, why doesn't she just come and watch him herself, what is she doing? He had no answer of corse. Finally they both come inside and later i found out the most childish reason for the SIL sitting in the car crying the whole time...she was upset b/c someone that was invited to her little girls bday party came to my sons party but not her daughters...seriously!!??! This is what I have to deal with on a regular with these people...I would have rather them just not come,than to come with their drama. I know how it is to be around people that have to make every situation about them even taking the spot light from a child, and it sux. Good Luck with your Crazy in laws!!!

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