Young wife w/ monster in law. Advice needed!

Khloe - posted on 09/12/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )

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I am an early 20's mother and wife. From the get go, MIL didn't like me for no apparent reason. My husband is her only and oldest son and she also has a daughter. When we were pregnant with my daughter, I was finishing just finishing HS. We have been together for 6 years and married for 2. My husband was working in a hospital while signing up for active duty for the military. We pretty much had our life plan and goals set. We got pregnant sooner than we expected and that's pretty much where MIL started despising me more. My husband wanted me to stay at their house for the meantime that I was pregnant but MIL argued with my mother mentioning all the reasons why she didn't want me to live with them. I was accepting of the fact that she didn't want me to live there but husband convinced her to let me stay there. I can honestly say that when I was living with them, everyone ignored me and never invited me to have a meal at the table and when I did sit to eat at night alone, they would talk about me having no shame coming into their house acting like I owned the place. I would always try and make conversation but they'll always find ways to excuse themselves which is embarrassing for me when I look like a fool trying to impress his family when no one really liked me to begin with. That's when I started paying no mind whenever they were home and stayed in our room, locked away and don't converse with them anymore. Then his mom started accusing me of being rude in her home and everything went from worse to hell. (3 years later ) CONT.
I FINALLY move out of his house and my husband joined the military, goes through basic and graduation. At this time I was a full time student and employee but did not have extra funds to make transportation mends to attend his ceremony. I was really depressed of the whole financial issue but surprisingly MIL offered to take me and our daughter and I can pay her back when we return home. I was fond of the idea and thought that maybe she actually wanted to be civil with me. I took her up on her offer and the whole time we were in attendance for his ceremony, she completely ignores me and acts like I wasn't even there which I am used too but uncalled for since we did travel together. Attending my husbands ceremony made it my first time flying and I had to fly back home by myself while MIL took our daughter to visit her side of the family in CA. I agreed to this as part of our whole deal with me paying her back and I was okay with it. When I returned home, I get a call from my best friend who insisted on telling me something but didn't tell me until 2 days later. My best friend is a mutual friend with my MIL best friend and usually tells me the details that her friend overhears from my MIL. I didnt know what to expect but wasnt really surprised because she always belittles me anytime and anywhere to anyone. I pretty much let everything go because I simply don't care what she thinks of me, that is until I heard what my best friend wanted to tell me. She told me that the mutual friend told her that before we left my MIL came over to the house to express herself to her mother. MIL said that she loathes the fact that my husband and I are together, she will never accept me and she usually talks to me so she can see our daughter. She also said that I was sneaky with the marriage because it just so happened that our marriage date fell in accordance with her vacation date which she went to with my SIL instead of our marriage and that I did not ask permission to marry her son. I was really depressed after hearing this because I thought for once we could be civil but evidently not. Upon hearing this, I planned to confront her but I didn't because I couldn't disrespect my husband like that especially while he was away. Idk how i managed to be civil to her but i did and just rarely spoke to her when she came back home and never really brought my daughter to their hiuse anymore.
(Couple months later) Present date : I spoke to my husband about this situation and how it still hurts that she disrespects me as his wife and makes me out as the devil. I asked him to address this issue with her but he feels like it will result in him having to pick a side and which is why he will not defend me or confront his mother. I know this is a post about in laws but how can I get my husband to see how much this affects me and our marriage? Am I overreacting or too sensitive? Should I stand up to his mother myself? I don't want to disrespect my husband (he really is a good man) and let my MIL hate me anymore than she already does.

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