Desperate need for help!

Jessica - posted on 11/22/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My son is in his first year of kindergarten but has a couple years of daycare behind him so he's used to being in a group setting. Almost everyday he gets into trouble for not listening, touching other kids, talking, etc. on a typical day he's the only person in the class who gets in trouble.. At first I was baffled just didn't get it he acted like an angel at home & loves school. However now he's just a monster.. Mean to siblings, stepdad, myself. No longer appreciates special treats for doing good at school & frankly acts like he has no interest in getting them for good behavior. He acts out, is very loud, breaks things, knocks stuff over, makes self vomit at table if he's not excused (school & home), ignores when asked questions with eye rolling & laughing while being disciplined. I have tried excellent rewards when having a good day at school & also punishishments when he is bad.. I am at my wits end & just don't know what to do with him :(( please help! I miss my kid!

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Laurie - posted on 02/14/2014

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You might try talking to him. Ask lots of open ended questions and see if you can get him to open up to you about what is bothering him. Don't push too hard at any one time but if he shows any signs of being willing to talk make sure you give him your full attention while he is receptive. Something has changed drastically in his life - perhaps beyond starting Kindergarten since that would be similar to daycare. It sounds to me like he has given up on being good because he feels he can't be no matter how hard he tries. Some of that is normal 5/6 year old stuff (or at least my 5 year is starting to do those kinds of things at times even though most of the time he is still reasonably well behaved) but it does sound like something more is going on. You might also want to start a private diary yourself of his good days and bad days and see if you can figure out what if anything is triggering these episodes of bad behaviour (lack of sleep, hungry, had a bad day at school etc). At the very least, having a record will give you something to take to the doctor to rule out a physical cause to his sudden behaviour change. Sometimes though love and cuddles and a receptive ear will get to the bottom of the why behind bad behaviour when simply getting mad at him just makes it worse.

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