Finances (Age old problem) - At my wits end

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

I have been divorced from my ex for 8 years now, we have 15 & 13 year old girls. He remarried in 2004 (he had been living with her since 2001) and I remarried in 2005. In 2007 his wife left him. While he was married his wife would constantly barrage me concerning money, she didn't think it was right they had to pay child support when we had joint custody, she didn't think they should have to pay for the insurance for the girls, etc. Court order stated he pay child support (very minimal amount) and he carry insurance on the girls until they were no longer eligible for child support. Since he is supposed to do all of this he is allowed to claim one of the girls on his federal taxes as a dependant, and I claim the other.

When she left, things straightened out for a short period of time. We were able to talk about things relating to the kids and he was willing to do thing to help as far as the kids were concerned. Now over the past three months he is becoming very rude and demanding as far as finances are concerned. According to the divorce agreement we are supposed to exchange the children at a "mutually agreed upon location" , we live in different counties and I have told him where a middle point would be, he answer is "no, it was your choice to move, you bring them here and you pick them back up here or you move back up here". I have given him copies of medical bills (again that he is supposed to pay half of) and I am told "that is what the child support is for". I have also had to add the children onto my dental and vision insurance at work (at my expense) because he claims insurance is not available through his employer (he has gotten a CHEAP health insruance plan that pays next to nothing). I have also asked for him to get half of the school supplies, again I get the same response.

I have taken him to court in the past because he was behind in child support (mind you I was only getting $400 a month combined at the time - it's $600 now) and I asked about insurance, medical bills, etc and I was told that I would have to file another request (another $50 fee and missed time from work) to handle that case. When we went to court I was yelled at and told I was wasting the judges time because he had paid his child support in full ( the night BEFORE we appeared in court).

Now, he has told my children that they need to bring their own "feminine products" from home because "that is what child support is for" and he has told the oldest that she needs to get $60 from me to pay for the tags on his truck (that he "gave" to her for her 15th birthday). THe truck is still in his name and it is not allowed to leave his property (per him).

I am at my wits end, and my pocketbook is VERY strained as it is. Any suggestions on what to try?? I know I am going to end up having to take him back to court but do I have a leg to stand on? Since I just have a short time before the girls are of age, should I just let it go and do my best? My ex is a very abusinve and controlling person, my fear is that he will lash out at the kids if I do take him to court. I am also worried about turning my own children against me, which he would work on. He already tells them every time he sees them that "We can't do anything because I had to pay your mom child support". Thanks for any advise you might have.


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[deleted account]

The kids have a special folder in my filing cabinet (yes I am overly organized) and every receipt forevery expense (out of the ordinary) goes in there. I also put my bank statements in there with the direct deposits highlighted (child support is already under payroll deduct and direct deposit to my account). I have given him copieso fhte receipts in the past nad I ALWAYS copy the clerk of the court with whatever I give him but still no avail.

Trisha - posted on 07/24/2009




u need to start a notebook write down every time you pay for something with the money he gives you for support also you need to write down everythig you request and every conversation in which money is discussed then you need to take that to the courts ..I know where we live they would reffer you to a court counselor I wish I could be more help ex was 8500 behind in his child support until they took his tax return ..he is facing jail time and stll wont do anything to help

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