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Non compliance with Court Orders- HEEEEELLLPPPP!!!

[deleted account] ( 11 moms have responded )

My hubby has 2 boys from another marriage, I cant go into all the details for legal reasons so forgive the brevity of this; but there are many complex criminal and family court issues ongoing. Does anyone have problems with the mother failing to comply with orders, consistently and over many years?? Please help...... no one seems to care about the father's rights....

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Glenda - posted on 08/08/2009

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Oh, we have been living that nightmare for a few years now. In our case, the bm was to take drug tests that we set up and she refused. How do you do that? Also, she was ordered to pay child support 2 years ago and we finally received our first check last Sunday. Of coarse it is only a stipend for 3 little girls. Trust me, the courts are all about the biological mother and it stinks. If she had custody, my husband would be ordered to pay her $400 a week, but when the shoe is on the other foot, they bend over. Not fair at all!!! At least the courts saw fit to deny her custody....

Anne - posted on 12/10/2009

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Unfortunately I'm on both sides! I'm divorced from my unreliable ex that doesn't pay cild support and got remarried to a wonderful man that pays his child support, but his ex won't let him see their child! Within past 2 yrs the courts have only put my ex in jail once and know back child support is racked up to $ 9,309.00 + interest. He has been getting by with a lot and I'm paying for his mistakes it cost me money when he doesn't comply (contempt of court hearings)! I owe a lawyer bill of $ 3,800.00 now going back to court when he doesn't comply with custody & child support orders! My new husband deals with an ex that tries to keep the daughter from seeing her dad. So he keeps paying child support, but doesn't get visitations! We haven't had the money to hire a lawyer, but I feel it will be a waste because when we got together 2 yrs ago his daughter was already 10 and she has her mind made up through the lies of her mother! Atleast I let my husband see kids whether he pays his child support or not!

Jennifer - posted on 08/17/2009

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I am an advocate for fathers rights. My experience with this is that depending on what state you're in....you can call the police each and every time she fails to comply even if its that she fails to exercise her right to see them and obtain a police report. You then go to court give the judge your proof of her negligence and they will punish her accordingly. The key is consistency. You must call the police each and every time to establish a pattern in her behavior. If the police have a problem with it TOO BAD. It IS PART OF THEIR JOB. Hope this helps

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[deleted account]

That's awful Anne, I wish I could help but like you I dont understand the court system because they simply dont act in the best interest of the children.

Anne - posted on 12/12/2009

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Yeah it's unfortunate that people just let these repeated offenders get by! I hired an attorney to do the work for me, but it's not just his fault our judge has been so linent on my ex! Lately I have did more footwork and phone calls myself to try to get something done about all my ex screwups, but just get so drained when nothing gets resolved! Luckily my family has been supportive! My mom and aunt have been to numerous court cases with me and we all end up with tears! Authorities are always saying they will do what is in best interest of the child, but that's not true! Why do they not make him pay his child support! At first I had a good job and was proud I could pay for my kids myself, but it gets old and then reality kicked in these are his kids too! If he isn't willing to help pay for his kids than what kind of father does that really make him. It makes me wonder how he pays for things when he has them for visitations because he doesn't work always has someone else supporting him like his girlfriend or parents! His girlfriend just quit her job too! My kids come home hungry! My daughter who is 9 said she ate 1/2 of a grilled cheese and they're constantly come home talking about eating hot dogs or macaroni! A year ago when he threatened to sign them over I just keep them and didn't make them go back! 3 1/2 months later he took me back to court and judge told me I had to let him see the kids again! The judge, mediator, and both of our lawyers all had heard him say he wanted to sign kids over, but when he changed his mind and wanted to see them again the judge told me to give him visitations. His attorney said he wanted to sign them over because he was angry. But I'm sorry this should be taken more serious it isn't a game of one day you want your kids and the next day you don't. Within last 2 yrs he has threatened to sign them over 3 times!

Tracey - posted on 08/19/2009

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I know exactly how you feel. My ex-daughter-in-law is constantly not complying with the court orders and has made unfounded allegations against my son, all to stop him seeing his girls. She even moved interstate to make it more difficult (she used to live in the same large town). So far this year my son has only seen his girls for a few hours on a about 4 occassions and we have more family court cases yet to come this year to solve the problem. All I can say is do as my son is doing and make a formal complaint to the courts every time she doesn't comply as this will way in your partners favour when you have to go to family court. The courts don't look favourably on any parents who defy court orders and every non-compliance is a legal breach. But you must report it as soon as possible after each breach. There is formal paperwork for it and it's not going to change over night, but here in Australia at least, this kind of behaviour can carry a jail term for non-compliance, and for some just the threat of that from a judge can be enough to get compliance.

[deleted account]

Thanks Jennifer that's great. Are you in the US? I'm from Australia and am alwasy interested how these things work in other countries too. Helps to move the wheels of change.

Jeannette - posted on 08/14/2009

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i'm on the opposite side of the coin. my ex is very unreliable and doesnt keep a job for long. he refuses to follow thru with some of the court order and he skirts around the child support system just enough to keep himself out of trouble. we had dcf involved and he was the reporter and several times they would not follow thru with the kids remarks and my remarks about my ex. he has been physically violent toward's them and verbally and emotionally and by law standard's he wasnt a jeopardy to their mental health. my son has asperger's syndrome and both the children are in therapy due to the divorce and the continuous exposure to thier dad and the court's still inforce his right's. he's gone as far as calling the sherriff to enforce his visit even when his kid's were visibly frieghtened of going with him, and the police make me hand over my kid's. where are their right's? and he cant' figure out why my son's system is all messed up with the med's he refuses to give to him on his visit's. yet when i was married to my ex he had no right's with his child. the mother was mean and nasty and thru her marriage in our face all the time. the child wasnt allowed to call him dad and recieve any mail or acknowledement of him being her father. very confusing and angerig being on both sides of the coin

[deleted account]

Gosh Glenda what a nightmare for yr man! Our situation is not about drugs but I can relate. Her rights are paramount even when the children are in danger!! I dont get it!! She also has refused to comply with various court orders and the court does NOTHING!! We have the same issues with child support- she has walked on all their debt which we are stuck with and he still has to pay CS as she wont work or if she does it's on the sly- cash in hand. NO WAY would we get away with that!! I WISH the courts would deny custody- the oldest is terrified of her but is going to live with her because he's too scared to tell her otherwise and the youngest doesnt want anything to do with her- what do you do??

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