My almost 8 month old won't nap anymore or sleep in his own crib throughout the night!

Ashley - posted on 09/15/2010 ( 19 moms have responded )

93

22

11

Ok to start off my son was sleeping through the night at a very early age at almost a month old! Thought we got lucky up until I would say about 2 months ago~ My almost 8 month old will not nap or sleep anymore! Had him ferberized and all was going well UNTIL he got his first 2 bottom teeth. Ever since then he WILL not nap and if he does its for about a half hour only 2 times a day if im lucky! Whenever I go to put him in his crib he wakes right up and cries! I feel like I am bout to lose my mind some days with a cranky baby who will not sleep! Do I just resort back to training him back to sleep ferber method again? I guess it doesnt help that recently he learned how to pull himself up in his crib! any other mommies out there have ANY advice for a mommy who needs help! I know he NEEDS to nap I would just love some advice..and PLEASE NO NEGATIVE ADVICE ON THE FERBER METHOD THANKS!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Brooke - posted on 09/19/2010

83

23

0

Thought of one other thing that might help explain why the baby used to sleep fine alone and now won't/can't. Earlier in life they are less aware, but now they are much more aware that you aren't there... But yet they don't have a grasp of object permanence yet, so they don't know that you are on the other room, close by. From an anthropologic standpoint... Being left alone for a baby meant certain death for thousands of years, since as an infant they are unable to protect themselves from predators.... Even though this may seem silly now, It is so deeply embeded on their DNA as a matter of survival of our species. You can see this in animals too... If a mother horse, cow, etc is separated from their baby, both mother and baby become frantic. This trigger a release of the stress hormone cortisol. In order for your baby to finally stop crying, they have to actually give up and accept that hypothetically they are going to fall prey to a predator and die...so you cam understand that as they become more and more aware... They are understandably less and less willing to succumb to this fate.

Chandra - posted on 08/16/2012

1

0

0

Wow Jaime, I think Ashley made it very clear that she didn't want to receive negative posts about her parenting choices. That includes judgemental, snide remarks from someone who is not in her shoes. Aren't we here to help and support each other?
And yes there is a saying "you reap what you sow". There's also a saying that if you have nothing nice to say....don't say it.
Ashley, I'm in the same shoes as you. If you receive any really good advise or solutions, please make sure you let as other moms know what's working.

User - posted on 06/12/2012

7

0

0

I wouldn't nap either if I was left alone to CIO. Teething is excrutiating.

I feel for your baby. I think this is just one of those 'reap what you sow'
situations. You may want to try other methods that are more gentle and
actually take care of your childs needs.

Good luck.

Philippa - posted on 09/10/2012

2

0

1

My 8 month old just started the exact same thing this weekend, been a perfect napper / sleeper until NOW!!!



I think teething is part of it but not all, definately just realized that i am leaving him!!!! According to a book I was reading it's actually part of mental progress ie memory etc



anyway Sat night was difficult but last night I put him down to sleep as usual after his bottle and he started crying / screaming. I had to walk awa from him for a few because dinner would burn otherwise!! I went back less than 10 mins later and gave him a cuddle, he fell asleep in my arms. I put him down and agin he cried but less than before, I said goodnight and went put my dinner on a plate (everyone else had already eaten of course! lol) he was crying but not ridiculously. I started to eat thinking can I do this and with that he stopped, I heard a few sniffles and then obviously he conked out.



I realize this may not be everyones ideal but I think setting up a time you will leave him crying and then going in reassuring him and then leaving again (even if its 10 times) will eventually work. I will not put him in my bed,

I need to sleep to be a good mum and him inbed stops me sleeping properly.

Lastly don't despair all will be well!!!!

Brooke - posted on 09/17/2010

83

23

0

*sigh*... People don't expect babies to feed themselves or bath themselves or change their own diaper, but yet for some reason they expect them to put themselves to sleep all alone and sooth themselves when they are teething. One suggestion is that when your baby Is chronically overtired, they actually cannot nap or sleep well. It's a vicious cycle. Try " the no cry nap solution" and "the no cry sleep solution" by Elizabeth Pantley, and "nightime parenting" by dr sears.

19 Comments

View replies by

James - posted on 04/26/2014

1

0

0

My wife and I are helping care for our ten month old grand daughter because the parents are both gone part of the work day. Our grand daughter had some serious problems, so to compensate, we filled her head with all of the stimulation we could. Several times, I got her to sleep when no on else could. I discovered she became agitated when I took her into her nursery and especially the chair her parents sat in to put her to sleep. I walked up and down a darkened hall as I talked to her for maybe sixty times. Then, I stopped talking and swayed back and forth for another fifteen minutes or so. I sat in the chair and counted to over 600 to be sure she was in a deeper part of her sleep cycle. I also put her to sleep or calmed her by playing Sami music (indigenious northern European reindeer herders). She likes Sofia Jannok's" Irene", and she also likes Moscow Never sleeps and Russel and Samata, Latvian hip hop singers. She moves her arms and sways to the music. She gets a late morning nap and another about 4PM We try to get her to sleep around 9PM and if so she won't wake up again until early morning. A couple of times, when her mother couldn't get her to sleep, she drove her daughter around the neighborhood. You may think this is insane, but it works for our grand daughter. Our main problem is she calls me "Da Da."

Christie - posted on 02/22/2014

1

0

0

I had the same problems with both my sons at 8months. Here is what I say.... Stick to your guns. What ever method you choose stick to it. I think it confuses the child more to change. It will all of a sudden stop one dog more matter which one you choose. I used furber and loved it my sons are fine now and have now sleep issues at 5&3. I honestly feel that as a society we never make our kids cry anymore or feel any disappointment. With everyone wins sports and parents who never say no. Could there be something to the fact that as teenagers kids get bad comments on Facebook and the kill themselves? Something to think about. The world is not easy and as parents it is our responsibility to teach them how to survive.

Sara - posted on 04/09/2012

11

0

0

Hi everyone! I'm a mom who has had sleep issues with my now 13 month old son. At first he slept like a dream, til he was 5 months old, and we haven't had a solid night of sleep yet. But, when I say he slept like a dream, I really mean he woke up to nurse and make sure I was there next to him (co-sleeping) and we'd both drift back to sleep after just moments. It was lovely. Then at 5 months he totally changed.. And we tried everything short of the Ferber method. I have done a ton of research on this issue, in a desperate attempt to take back at least a little more sleep, and Ferber has actually changed his original theories.. But so not an anti-Ferber post.. Just that I wanted to echo what Brooke said about babies and their sleep patterns.. In Neanderthal times, babies who slept soundly usually didn't thrive due to predators and not eating enough. So it is in their DNA to wake every two hours or so. Doesn't really explain the nap schedule changing for your baby, but maybe he is more aware and just wants to know you're around?? I totally feel your pain in this though, because you can't sit down or do dishes or anything. We just switched our son to a one nap a day schedule and this seems to be helping a bit.. Please keep us posted as to what works for you!! Good luck!!!

Brooke - posted on 09/18/2010

83

23

0

Also remember that even Ferber himself has revised his methods. Just might be good to try some other ideas.

Brooke - posted on 09/18/2010

83

23

0

Please don't get mad at me, and try the "no cry" books... They work great although not instantly... We had your exact same issue and now he is napping three hours every afternoon. But I had to developed a sleep plan... And stick to it... And now its totally paying off after about a month of work :)

Brooke - posted on 09/18/2010

83

23

0

Some babies are high need and sleep lightly with rough transitions between the sleep stages, or teething etc may be waking your baby up, and then even though they are able to sooth normally, pain presents a new challenge and they may need help. Thats why i suggested those books. I appreciate your comment about not wanting negative comments re: Ferber... Was just trying to give alternative suggestions since Ferber did not seem to be working anymore in your babies case.

Brooke - posted on 09/18/2010

83

23

0

Sorry, not trying to be rude. I got those books used on amazon for around 2-3 bucks plus shipping. They helped me because my son would only nap exactly thirty minutes... Then when he changed from deep sleep to rem, the change would wake him up... The books all had suggestions on how to fix that... Tons of different suggestions... Some might work for you, some not... But fr sure worth te read. To cry it out versus not is so controversial and parents are passionate because everyone love their kids. I say, whatever works for you and so do those books. But I really don't get self soothing, personally just because it seems like actively works best.

Ashley - posted on 09/18/2010

93

22

11

thanks erin! oh no i dont let it bother me i guess some ppl dont read the entire post before putting their judgement on ppl! bc apparently i didnt clearly get across the NO NEGATIVE ADVICE. im a great mother and that is the single only thing that will get my son to take a nap. he falls asleep then as SOON as he hits the crib he wakes right back up and cries. i know its hard TRUST ME but at the same time my son cannot dictate when and where he wants to sleep. im the mother i ultimately decide what he responds to and whats good for him. ignorant ppl do not phase me. so again that response didnt even bother me bc all i did was ignore it! anywho thanks again. i think ill be making a trip to the library come monday!

Erin - posted on 09/18/2010

39

0

12

Brooke, I found your comment to be quite rude. I think you meant well but you come off as a know-it-all. I am sure you do not do everything right with your children. If you want someone to take your advice then try to be more polite about it. *Sigh*
Ashley, Try the library for those books. It's a cheap way to get the info. I hope things start going better soon and please don't take the last comments to heart. We are all trying to do the best for our kids.

Ashley - posted on 09/17/2010

93

22

11

thank you erin that helps alot! im going to have to figure out where i can find that book and read it over the weekend! i also think hes teething again which is not helping the crankiness! but that you that does help so much and does make perfect sense! im going to give that book a try!

Erin - posted on 09/16/2010

39

0

12

Something I recently learned about was the 3 hour cycle. My son goes down pretty well an hour after he wakes up in the morning. The afternoon is brutal though. I have started doing this recently and it`s working. Exactly 3 hours after he wakes up from his morning nap I start his afternoon nap routine. We go in his room, change his diaper and pee and or poop (we are ECing our son), play a bit, read stories, I feed him and then sing two songs and he goes to sleep. I was doing all that before but I was not following the 3 hour rule. It really made quite a difference. I find that if I miss that window he are hooped for an afternoon nap and I have a cranky baby on my hands. It also holds true for night time routine. He generally needs to go down 3 or 4 hours after he wakes up from his afternoon nap.

Is he still sleeping a lot at night? Babies at this age generally need about 14 hours in a 24 hour period. Is he getting near that?

I have been struggling with naps since the beginning of being a parent so I feel your pain. I hope I have not rambled on too much and that you find this helpful for your 8 month old who won't nap. There is a book I read and she wrote one about naps too, it`s called "The no-cry-nap solution". Believe me when I tell you that I am not against crying it out but this book really helped me with finding a nice routine. It might help.

Ashley - posted on 09/16/2010

93

22

11

yes i feel your frustration! i try my HARDEST to not go and check on him bc like you said it seems to reset the clock and it starts all over again! today is day 2 this..he actually just went down for his nap..no screaming yet hes playing in there..but i do know its coming! he just does not like being in his crib if hes alone in the room (due to space confinement we share a room with him which i also think is affecting his sleep routine as well).

Emily - posted on 09/15/2010

128

38

17

My son reverts occasionally, particularly if we get out of our routine for a bit (i.e. on our recent vacation). I don't call it Ferberizing, but I do think that with my son's temperament, going in and soothing him only ends up making him angrier and re-sets his clock.
It took three days for him to start going to sleep again, but I had to sit here pulling my hair out while he cried, and cried, and cried for those three days. If your son is like mine, he won't realize the crib is not his enemy unless you help him learn again in the way that is best for him.

Erin - posted on 09/16/2010

39

0

12

Something I recently learned about was the 3 hour cycle. My son goes down pretty well an hour after he wakes up in the morning. The afternoon is brutal though. I have started doing this recently and it`s working. Exactly 3 hours after he wakes up from his morning nap I start his afternoon nap routine. We go in his room, change his diaper and pee and or poop (we are ECing our son), play a bit, read stories, I feed him and then sing two songs and he goes to sleep. I was doing all that before but I was not following the 3 hour rule. It really made quite a difference. I find that if I miss that window he are hooped for an afternoon nap and I have a cranky baby on my hands. It also holds true for night time routine. He generally needs to go down 3 or 4 hours after he wakes up from his afternoon nap.

Is he still sleeping a lot at night? Babies at this age generally need about 14 hours in a 24 hour period. Is he getting near that?

I have been struggling with naps since the beginning of being a parent so I feel your pain. I hope I have not rambled on too much and that you find this helpful for your 8 month old who won't nap. There is a book I read and she wrote one about naps too, it`s called "The no-cry-nap solution". Believe me when I tell you that I am not against crying it out but this book really helped me with finding a nice routine. It might help.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms