39 weeks along and he goes to jail

Manda - posted on 08/16/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Im so mad at my boyfriend right now (if I even want to call him that). He went back to jail on Monday. I didn't find out till Tuesday when I looked online. I knew something was wrong, because he was not calling me or answering my calls Monday night and Tuesday morning. And he always calls. This is his 4th time going to jail since we been together. Im getting tired of this and dont want to stick around if he is going to be in jail on and off. I have a feeling that their will be a fifth time, and I dont want to be around to see that. During my doctor appointment on Tuesday my doctor told me she wants me to go to the hospital this coming Monday night and wants me to give birth Tuesday. At first my due date was set to the 26th. So my boyfriend still thinks Im delivering on the 26th. He does not know the delivery got pushed back to the 20th, because he missed my doctor appointment pining away in jail. Now I have to go through the birth alone. My mom may or may not be there since she has to work. This is my first baby, and I don't know what to expect and dont know what to say if doctors ask about the dad. My boyfriend also has a 2 year old from a past relationship. And I cant help but feel jealous of his ex right now, because he was there for their baby's birth. But for mine he gets himself locked up. I saw old pictures of him in the hospital holding their baby and it sucks I wont get that experience. His court date is set for Aug 28. I will be out the hospital by then. I hope he gets out that day so he wont miss too much time with our baby. And I dont want to end up doing everything alone. He is the only parent working. I still live with my parents and will be finishing my last year of college with mostly online classes. So for me it will be school and baby. I wont have time to work. I will use the little refund money I get from financial aid to pay for my school stuff and baby things. And im on food stamps to feed the baby and myself. Im really embarresed to be on food stamps, Im just ready to get my degree so I can get a job and pay my own way. Its unfair that he makes more money and now he cant help out because of jail. Im just ranting because after everything we been through he gets himself in trouble and leave me out here to go through birth by myself. I honestly think he was thinking only of himself when he got arrested.

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Sheena - posted on 08/16/2013

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Drink plenty of water before and if you have a epidural. I didn't know they won't let you drink anything afterwards and I was sooo thirsty

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Ana - posted on 09/07/2013

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Well, this is your boyfriends life. You all having a baby together won't change him. Count on oyur friends and family to help you and deal with him when you can, but you are not going to be able to count on him much living the way he is, so either set things up in your life so that you don't need him, but he can contribute to the baby's life, or get ready for more of what you are dealing with in this post..bumpy ride...

Sheena - posted on 08/16/2013

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Sorry to hear that. My first love (current boyfriend) went away for a longgg time and now we have a child together so I know how that jail thing can be. You'll need some help following the birth of your child in the middle of the night and lifting anything heavy so try to have someone help you if he can't be around. He is missing out but you will not miss out on anything HE will be! My delivery lasted only four hours because his head was so low I only pushed 40 mins and honestly I didn't want anyone around me but a part of me did because I wanted Him to see the birth of his child. If your embarrassed of him not being there try just saying he is very sick and in the hospital as well that way you can focus on the baby rather then getting your self worked up, or being embarrassed. First time commenting on this site. Hope it helped!

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