7 months pregnant and my boyfriend of 3 years and I broke up.

Sarah - posted on 04/14/2014 ( 12 moms have responded )

4

0

0

I am in desperate need of advice based on my experience. I hope some of you can relate with me. I am 22 years old, 7 months pregnant, and the father and I just broke up last week. We were in a 3 year relationship, which we broke up a few times throughout, but eventually got back together afterwards. We have always had really bad communication... When I'm upset, he wouldn't want to hear how I feel or talk about it. And when he's upset, he doesn't want to talk about it. It hurts me... Because we love eachother, he shows it, but problems don't get solved. But anyways... This time we broke up, It was bad. Basically, I caught him messaging a girl on facebook. The whole conversation was deleted and she replied "don't you have a girlfriend...?" and the rest was deleted. I messaged her from mine, and she sent me the conversation that he deleted. He was flirting with her,calling her gorgeous/pretty... Taking time out of his work day to send messages to her... someone he DOESN'T KNOW when he barely even talks or replies to me! I got extremely upset because this was something we broke up with over before (over 2 years ago, about 6 months into our relationship, he was making plans to go out for coffee with his ex and didn't tell me), but anyways, i caught him doing it again with another girl now that he doesn't know. He knew I wouldn't like it, because he deleted it... Therefore lied to me. I felt like I was cheated on. Basically after I caught him, he begged me to take him back. I was so hurt. He called me, texted me saying sorry... And I just couldn't forgive him at the time because I was so hurt. Those texts and calls weren't good enough of an apology for me at the time. So after this happened, I overreacted and started telling him how bad of a person he is, saying every hurtful thing I possibly could. My hormones got the best of me :-( After a week passed, I felt really bad.. Regretting what I said. Then I find out that he is actually interested in this girl! Writing statuses about how gorgeous she is, and wanting to take her out on a "dinner and movie" date. I feel disrespected to the max. Why make that public? To get me jealous?... I'm 7 months pregnant and I feel powerless. I have a extremely supportive family who will let me and my baby live with them, but I am worried about my ex boyfriend. He's not talking to me right now, because he's hurt too. I love him but I'm not sure what to do. I'm just worried about being a single mom and my baby girl not having a father figure...Btw, he smokes lots of weed which is a problem for me, so I wouldn't even want him to have the baby alone on his own time. And I'd be scared for him to bring other women around our baby girl.... I feel like she deserves a loving mom and dad that are happy together. Which we are most of the time, this fight just got way out of control. Do you think it's worth it? Please help!!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Kota - posted on 05/25/2014

1

0

0

I can kind of relate to what your going through...I was pregnant with my first child (she's 3 years old now) and her father left me when I was 6 months pregnant I was 19 years old and alone. For the rest of my pregnancy I watched him parade around the women he would date and hear stories my friends told me about him fooling around with girls I knew. It made me sick, some days I cried so much from the pain he caused. Eventually when my daughter was born I tried getting him involved again asked him for help but he wouldn't so I blocked him from Facebook and changed my phone number, I completely let him go. I haven't heard or seen him since that day. Once my daughter was born she took away most of the pain he caused. There were times I still felt sad because I thought that we were going to be a family but it didn't work that way. I felt fat and ugly from the pregnancy didn't think anyone would see me as pretty. My mom convinced me to take care of myself like buy myself clothes, get my hair done, and wear makeup again just to help boost my self esteem. Well 4 months after my daughter was born I met someone and we dated. Long story short I've been with him 3 years now and my daughters dad still makes no effort to be apart of her life. It scares me to think what my life would be like if I forced him to be around her like court ordered him. Honestly I don't even hate him, I don't have any feeling towards him. He gave me a beautiful daughter and that's all that matters. What your going through and what you will go through is hard its very hard. Be strong for your baby things will eventually get better. I'm not saying leave him and I'm not saying stay with him I just think you need to be true to yourself. Deep down you know what's best for you and your baby :) and being a single mom isn't so bad I think it makes people stronger. And plus your little one will love you twice as much, you'll be your daughters everything. Hope this helps some. Oh and I wouldn't feel bad for getting mad at him I think he deserved it for messing around on his pregnant woman. Take care and stay strong.

12 Comments

View replies by

Melinda - posted on 04/17/2016

12

0

1

Where you are so young and you have so much to learn being cheated on really hurts but you can't keep staying with someone that you know Will cheat on you right now you're my priority should be the baby. I bet he does not need to be brought into a home that is always fighting but The baby does not need to be brought into a home that is always fighting but a loving one. I can see so much of myself in you. When I read your message I tried to put up with all kinds of things as I grew older to try and make a marriage work or a relationship but in the long run it always turns out the same. sweetheart if you have a real heart to give someone there will be someone out there that will treat you like a queen if you will give them the chance but don't try to find it let it come to you just focus on the baby give it unconditional love and the right person will come along. time seems to stand still sometimes but don't keep giving someone a chance if they keep walking all you respect yourself as a mother remember that what you put up with in your life will be what your children put up with in theirs. I don't know if this will help you but I hope it does always pray about everything you do God is real and he will help you when no one else can.

Alyssa - posted on 03/01/2016

5

0

2

Obviously the father had a decision, and he's making it. He's the one missing out, not u or your kid.

Haley - posted on 08/24/2015

1

0

0

Sarah, it's been over a year since you posted this. It is SCARY how similar our situations are. Same age, same point of pregnancy, and almost the exact same issues in my relationship.

Your child is almost a year now, how did everything work out???
I'm so heartbroken right now, and I'm worried that I'm stressing out too much for the baby.

Let me know!

Ashley - posted on 05/25/2014

22

58

2

DO NOT just go out on dates or anything right away you have a new born to worry about first!but he is not worth your time file for custody as soon as your baby is born reveal his bad side and besides if he is not on the birth certificate he is not the father
i have a 4 year old and his dad has hardly been anything of his life although my son loves his dad dearly it will never be enough do not worry about what you do not know yet. let life take its toll and decide from there
life has many unexpected thing run at you just dont let it run over you
single mom is definitely hard but as long as you got the help use it when you need it dont let mom or any family take over your responsibility that runs into issues and arguments and many things
after 3 1/2 years i found someone im going to stick with
and just found out im 2 or 3 weeks pregnant with his baby!
sometimes having that perfect little family is over rated!
especially when you choose the wrong person
i would say unless you really think all of that is going to change and stayed changed never go back thats the strongest smartest thing you can do!
and kids are really amazing they can put a smile on your face or just cuddle you if you are feeling down they are always there to help you stay strong even when you dont notice that they are
take him off your FB and social sites and just keep his number thats the only one youll need
take your time to heal from this its a really hard bumpy road

Khamila - posted on 04/17/2014

42

0

11

he's a dick for leaving you like this poasting status about this other girl, he smokes weed so that is really bad, I have never been threw this before,i do't mean to affend you or your ex but, try finding a worthier sweet bf,

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms