Anyone driving themselves to the hospital and/or going through labor and delivery alone?

Chelsea - posted on 10/03/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Just wondering if anyone had any thoughts on the matter.



I've been heavily deliberating over the matter about what I'm most comfortable with since I started thinking about D-day. The hospital is about 30-40 minutes away. I'm a single expectant mom, my due date is 3 days from now so I can go at any moment! I live at home with my father. My dad stresses me out and I don't think I want him to drive me to the hospital or be there when I deliver...my niece lives a couple of blocks away but I don't know if I want her to drive me either (nothing personal). My best friend lives 20 minutes away and I wanted her to be in the delivery room...my sister was planning to be my labor coach and she said she would make the drive from her house 50 minutes away to take me to the hospital too. However, my sister and I had a disagreement tonight over dinner and now I'm feeling so bummed, alone, drained and spent, I think I'd prefer no company at all during the whole experience (driving and labor/delivery)...anyone feel or did things this way?

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Sandra - posted on 10/06/2012

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well i think that you should let everyone know that you want sometime with your son before everyone comes in and sees holds, and takes pictures it could be overwhelming. and if you choose to breastfeed you need to have one on one time for an hours with your son! so i think you should tell them that to maybe just call them after he is born or just have them wait in the waiting room until you are ready for them

Ashley - posted on 10/06/2012

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Honestly honey, your family will get over it if they don't get to hold your child right away. My husband and I are 30 weeks and we have decided that my daughter who is 7, and the two of us are going to be the only ones with our son for the first 30 min to an hour after he is born. Its really important to us to have that bonding time and to let our daughter know that she is still just as important as the new baby is before everyone else comes into the room and pays attention only to the baby. I'm glad your friend is supportive and understanding. Thats what a true friend should be and I'm sorry your family isn't taking her lead. My best friend didn't tell anyone that her baby was born until she came home from the hospital, she just really needed the time herself because she had a difficult pregnancy and an overbearing family. They were upset but got over it once they saw their granddaughter. I had another friend who told family a few hours after the birth and friends the next day. She was like you and just didn't want an audience. Her baby's father was the only one she allowed there during the birth. I don't know what your relationship is with the father, but if its not a bad one, and he wants to be involved in the child's life that may be a person you may want to share the experience with. I wish you the best and am so glad to hear you have your friend to count on. Good Luck with it all and I hope your baby is healthy and happy and that you get the time you need with him.

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Sarah - posted on 10/12/2012

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Hire a doula. You need a supportive labor assistant who isn't there to help the medical staff.

And no, I didn't drive myself, I stayed home and had a homebirth :)

Chelsea - posted on 10/05/2012

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Thanks for the advice. If I think it may be too painful to drive, I definitely will have someone drive me instead for safety sake. My friend might be a good option because she did agree that she would be just fine to wait in the waiting room during labor and delivery in case I did change my mind and wanted someone with me. I'm so glad I talked about it because she understood my need for privacy and a stress free experience.



Now I'm worried about my friends and family after baby is born because they are pushy to know about when I'm going into labor and will want to see the baby as soon as he's born. I actually dont want to notify anyone until an hour after the baby is born...just so i can have bonding time with him. Nobody else seems to understand that I don't want an audience and that I just want alone time. I worked hard 9 months to have him and I don't want to have to compete with others to hold my own son! It's so hard to tell people to back off and respect your space because for some reason, they all express some snide comment when you tell them your wishes...it's so bad. I appreciate their care and excitement but I need room to breathe and just be with baby. Luckily the nurses have said at the hospital tour that they are not afraid to tell your guests for you to leave when you need it...I guess I can rest on that...I just hope I don't snap when someone tries to tell me what I should do!

Sandra - posted on 10/05/2012

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you would definitely want someone that you trust and would want to share the experience with at the hospital i had my boyfriend my sister and mom there but they drove me crazy and made the experience the worst and i didnt know if i wanted to have another baby after what they put me through. i drove myself to my 30min hospital but i wasnt in labor i was going to be induced. so i dont know if you should or not. i think you should probably talk to your sister and your niece. and have them both be there! even if you dont want anyone in the delivery room you would want people to be there to see your baby and take pictures. i hope things work out and i hope this helps

Ashley - posted on 10/04/2012

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You will definitely want someone you trust and care about to be there for you. Once your contractions really get going and start being painful you will DEFINITELY NOT want to drive yourself. Trust me, the distraction of the pain could cause you to wreck and you really don't want to go through that along with labor. As far as having someone in the delivery room with you, the doctors let you choose. Even if you have someone drive you that you don't want in the delivery room they can go wait in the waiting room. AND you can still call the person you want to be there and have them meet you there if that is the most convenient thing. If you aren't having contractions then driving yourself should be ok (if you are going in for an induction or something). I would recommend having someone there with you just for support. It will make you feel a lot better to have someone there that you know instead of just doctors and nurses, as well as someone to take pictures of your babies first moments of life while you are busy delivering the placenta. I really hope things work out with you and your family and that you come home to a supportive caring enivronment for you and your bundle of joy. There is also an article on this page titled "who to invite into the delivery room" that may help you out too.

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