Anyone else have a big age gap between their kids?

Felicia Neikolle - posted on 03/17/2010 ( 21 moms have responded )




I am prego with my third ... first for my hubs and I ... with my current youngest about to turn 8 and my oldest about to be 10! I used to never want to have another one after the age of 25 ... then I met my hubs. I'm so excited about this pregnancy (except the part of being due on my son's birthday!) but also have fears that this child will have a disadvantage because it won't be able to know its siblings very well. My husband comes from a family like this and isn't close to his siblings either ... he's the baby. I'm scared that's what it will be like for this one ... and I don't like it!

Any advice?


Katy - posted on 04/21/2010




I am 11 weeks pregnant and my daughter is 6 (she will have just turned 7 when the baby is born) I also have mixed feelings but she seems to be taking it well so far and is very excited to be a big sister. I guess time will tell :)

Delta - posted on 04/21/2010




I am pregnant with my 2nd child. My oldest will be 10 in Aug and this one is due about a month after her birthday. There is a big gap between my 3 older siblings and me. I am the baby of all 4 of us. My brother (the oldest is 13 years older than me, I have a sister that is 11 years older than me, and my other sister is 9 years older than me. I also have 2 step sisters from my dads first marriage that non of us know that is way older than my brother. My husband is the middle child of 3. His sister is the oldest, there is think 4 years between them and their youngest brother is 8 years younger than my husband.

Dawnyka - posted on 03/20/2010




Big age gap? Uh, yeah.... After reading all of the replies, I think I win.....

I'm 36, and 30 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child (its my first boy). This is the first child with my fiance. My youngest child is 14, and my oldest is 18 (both girls). My oldest will be almost 19 when her little brother is born.

I was only 17 and 22 when I got pregnant with my girls, so they weren't exactly 'planned', but this time my son was planned. Its a lot different going through pregnancy with someone who actually WANTS to have a child. So exciting!!!

I think as far as the closeness, that's up to them. A big age difference doesn't have to mean that they won't be close. Every relationship is what you make of it. And if its important enough to them, they'll make time for each other! We're all really excited about our new addition!!!

Breeyan - posted on 03/19/2010




I have 4. Two of them, are turning 13 this year, and my boy is 1, and i now have one on the way. so HUGE age gap between the three first ones. beleive it or not, it makes it a little easier at times, and a little harder at others.

Easier: Because, well, they can both help, and enjoy having a younger sibling. They are competant enough to realize whats going on, and they can listen and comprehend what your telling them, like if you need them to get you somthing, or you just need them to chill and go do somthing else where, they can, and you can trust that theyre not into anything they shouldnt be.

Disadvantage: Because, well yea, they are so far appart in age, and they may not be able to hang out the same because the age gap. But when theyre older, that'll make no diffrence.

All in all, if they have strong family values (which all of mine do, we live in Alabama, so the deep south) if you instill in them, that they're still family, no matter the age difference, theyre still a part of eachother indeffinatly, and that will never change no matter what, and just take it as it comes. (:


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Sam - posted on 04/27/2012




I have 4, my daughter is the eldest 15 in August, then I have 3 boys, 1st - 13yrs 8 months, 2nd - 11yrs 1month and the 3rd - 2yrs 9 months. I find the arguements happen the most with the 11yr old, when he won't leave the older 2 alone. Youngest just watches and learns (OMG). I try to make sure we all sit down to have our evening meal at the same time as a family. Best thing is routine, well trying to keep to a routine.

(ps - kids wouldn't let me put 14,13, 11 and 2, had to be exact ages, lol)

Tracy - posted on 09/06/2011




My last 2 kids are 9 1/2 years apart. My kids are now 17, 16, 14 and almost 5. They get along very well and seem to be pretty close. I wouldn't worry about the age gap as long as you make sure they can share some things in common and promote a strong family bond with group activities - for all ages. Good luck.

Amanda - posted on 04/21/2010




My baby brother and i are 12 yrs apart. We're not as close as i'd like but he knows i'm always here for him and that i love him like crazy. Hoping it's the same for my separated kids. Oldest turns 13 today and he's only 20 months older than his sister who is 11. Between her and my youngest is a 9 yr gap as my other daughter is only 20 months. I'm now expecting another boy so #3 and #4 will only be seperated by 2 years and a few weeks (unless he comes early which will put him practically on her 2nd birthday). Wasn't happy when i found out i was expecting #4 but at least it means my toddler will have a sibling close to her own age.

Jytte-Marie - posted on 04/21/2010




There's a few gaps between me and my brother's. 4 years, 6 years and 10 years.
My mom is 17 years younger than her oldest sister
My Dad's 23 years older than his youngest sister and my MIL is 20 years older than her youngest brother and sister
.... so yea, it's pretty common to have big age gaps and from my own experience, it didn't make too much of a difference with how we interacted and what our interests were in general.
My brother's hung out/ did stuff with/around me until I moved out and even then, I have them over often and we're still interested in doing the same things.
I think it really depends on the child and what their personalities are like.

Megan - posted on 04/21/2010




I have a 7 1/2 yr old and have just found out i am preg 2 weeks ago. By the time i have bubby my daughter is going to be 8yrs i am excited but scared of the samething but i have always wanted more kids. This will be my Partners 1st also and i dont want my 1st to feel left out and have spoken to many different ppl from a few differnet pyschologists, doctors, family and friends. I was told the more i involve they get now the more likely they will want to be apart of the babys life and growing a strong relationship between them will not hurt. My sister is 3 1/2 yrs older than me and we have a relationship that has had its times but at the end of the day we are inseprateable. My partners Siblings though are on the scale of being much older and he is the baby his brother is 12yrs older and his sister would have been 8yrs older but died when she was nilly 5yrs old. He has not spoken to his brother in nilly 2-3yrs (due to family differances and living so far away but he would like to get back in contact in the future) but when they were younger he remembers little things and wouldn't say it was a bad relationship it was they were on different paths of there lives. My aunty had 2 kids to a previous relationship in 1987 and 1991 and than she had her 3rd and 4th in the 1999 and 2003 and all of them get along really well so it really depends on the family structure and how the children interact. You will need to remember though you will have toddlers and teenages under the same roof so there is never going to be all of them getting along 100% of the time. Best of luck and i am sure all will be fine.

Marina - posted on 03/23/2010




those are the exact same age differences between me and my sisters. i am now 18 my older sister 20 and younger sister is 10. there are a few poblems between each of us but we all get along pretty well. and from what o hear my little sister loves being the only one left at the house now

Deserai - posted on 03/20/2010




Felicia, try not to worry too much about age difference. I have younger siblings that are 7 and 9 years younger than me and I am now 32. We are actually very close. I believe the key to being close dispite the age difference is how close your family is. My family is so close that the age difference doesn't really matter.
I also have an 11 year old son and an 8 year old daughter from a previous marriage, and am currently expecting my husband's first child and my 3rd. So I definately understand the apprehension. GOOD LUCK!

Desiree - posted on 03/18/2010




My mother has a very (my sister) being 20 (21next month) me 19, my brother 18 and my youngest brother 4 =) I love all my siblings

Laura - posted on 03/18/2010




Nicholas is almost 11 and I'm pregnant of a twin (4th and 5th child)
Edward is 8 and my baby girl Ella-Marie is turning 4. But so far I have had no problems with them. You just got to keep in mind that the interests of your children are very different. In a few years Nicholas will be intrested in girls, while my twin will like Superman and so...

Ashley - posted on 03/17/2010




there is 10 years between me and my oldest sister and 12 years between my youngest sister and oldest sister... My mom was in the same boat as you never thought to have more kids till my dad. We are a very close family despite the age differences. We also have a brother 8 years older than I am. I would just recommened don't make your older 2 the designated babysitters too often... my older siblings hated that lol. Good Luck on your pregnancy...

oh and my parents had my sister so I could have a companion lol.... so it would be up to you

Carolee - posted on 03/17/2010




Just remember: It could always be worse. Example: my little brother is 27 years younger than me and 2 years younger than my son.

I think they'll still get to know each other, though. The only thing that I could suggest is making sure to do things like "family dinners" and "family outings" a lot. Congrats, though, on the new addition!

Niki - posted on 03/17/2010




my first is 7yrs and Im pregnent with my second - but i think its quite a good gap. My brother is 7 years younger than me and my sister 3 years older. My mother loved it because I was old enough (and super keen) to help out with my baby brother i used to feed and change him and play with him. and now hes 18 and we're still really really close.

Char - posted on 03/17/2010




Oh yeah try 16, 9 and one on the way. I got to give each child individual attention as babies instead of having stairsteps to have to cater to and with each child I was in a more mature mindset and better financial situation to care for them. To keep the boys close I have tried to encourage their common interests. They both like legos so they are often playing together building things. They both also hate chores so I make them wash and dry the dishes together.

It will be up to you to encourage and nurture bonding between the kids. Find common ground and work from there.

Cecelia - posted on 03/17/2010




My son was 6 when my daughter was born....I found that there were many bebefits to a large gap in their age...

-my son got to be an only child and enjoyed lots of one on one attention for 6 years....then when Riley was born he got to be a big brother and was very proud of that. It was nice to have an independant child when baby came around. It made things alot easier for me and James ended up being a huge help.

Denise - posted on 03/17/2010




My children will only be 4 years apart...But...I have two older brothers ,8 and 9 years older, that I have always been very close with and looked up to. I am actually closer to them than I am with my little brother that is only 1 year younger than me. It all depends on how you raise your family and your family values. Then also how your children get along. Good luck and Congrats! I'm sure things will be just fine!

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