Complicated labor!

Sarah - posted on 11/16/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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So i finally had my son sept 19, 2010 at 1:12am! Little did i know when i was pregnant that his birth would be so complicated! after being in labor for over 24 hrs and pushing for 2 hrs i was told i was going to have a c-section (because baby's head was turned the wrong way, his heartrate was faster than it should be, i had a temp and a hernia in my tummy from the ligaments stretching during pregnancy and my epidural was wearing off on one side!) So my c-section went good... or so i thought! i was in alot of pain after my c-section and the doctors and nurses told me that was normal and i just needed to push through the pain and walk around and try to move as much as i could! so for 3 days i walked as much as i could! but i couldn't figure out why everytime i went to the bathroom i would get a horrible pain in my tummy... so bad i would start sweating and feel like i was going to puke and pass out! i was on as many pain meds as i could take while breastfeeding! well after the 3rd day of this they did some tests and found out they had cut my bladder during my c-section and everything was draining into my tummy! i had to have another surgery to repair the hole (which by this time had torn to the size of a half dollar!) and my husband wasn't even at the hospital for it... he thought getting sleep at home and playing comp games was more important!! the surgery went good but i had to have 2 catheters! a normal one and 1 coming out a hole below my c-section incision! finally a week after being admitted to the hospital i was released! only to have loads of problems at home! my mother stayed at my house to help me take care of the baby because i couldn't move around too good yet and had a hard time carrying 2 cath bags & my son! and i was only allowed to lift 10lbs... and my son was 9lbs! while i was in the hospital my husband started obsessively playing mafia wars... and wouldn't help me at all! so i moved in with my parents for 3 weeks... until both catheters were removed! my husband would only come visit my son and i once a week and i was only 10min away! when i moved back home my husband was a jerk and yelled at me for taking too long to tell him something or telling him what our son liked and disliked! (he wasn't around him enough to know for himself!) after being home 3 days i left my husband because he would get in my face and scream while i was holding the baby! i went back after a week and after he promised to try to change! he had also been out partying and getting drunk while i was gone both times and he lied about it to me!

what should have been one of the happiest times of my life had turned into a horror story! the only thing that got me through it all was my son! but i can't help but think none of this would have happened if i didn't need a c-section! my son is now almost 2 months old and i don't know what i would do without him! my husband still plays mafia wars 24/7 everyday... all day! its like a job for him... he gets mad if he doesn't get everything done on there that he wanted too or if he has to miss a day! its been a big stress on our relationship and having been through this before with him i know nothing i say can make him realize he's missing out on seeing out son grow up! he has to realize himself! and him adding ppl he doesn't know to his facebook has put a strain on our relationship because he treats them more like family than he does me and Ronin! so pray for me... i need the support! to be married and basically be a single parent while your child's father plays on the comp instead of helping is horrible! and divorce isn't an option because i will not leave my son alone with him becuase of his anger managment issues.... and my lawyer said he will get some kind of visitation.... and it probably won't be supervised! so pray that my husband realizes how much he is missing out on and how much we need him! pray that i can keep strong for my son! thanks!

4 Comments

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Crystal - posted on 11/20/2010

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Congrats on your new baby boy,
I had an unplanned c-section too and know how horrifying it can be and with out the proper support extreamly hard. If you cant talk to him and realy get him to change his ways leaving him may be your only option. he will get some for of visitation but if he has recorded issues with anger it will most likly end up being supervised but seeing as your son is so young he wouldnt be able to take him for long periods of time with out you anyway. my sister in law recently went through a long custody battle and ended up with full rights to her children and only allowing her ex with what she saw fit. I am so sorry to hear about your problems and I pray things get better for you. chin up hunny you can make it through this

Lisa - posted on 11/19/2010

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LEAVE him now. If this is how it is now it wont be long before it turn into him hitting you and maybe even your son so just pack up and go now before its to late. Im so sorry you are going through this

Dora - posted on 11/18/2010

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CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NEW BABY!!!!!!!!!! At the same time I am so sorry that you have to be going through this with your husband. If it didn't bother him when you moved in with your parents, then do it again. At least you know they will love and treat you and your son with respect and won't yell in your face. At least this way you won't have to deal with his childish behavior and at the same time not have to worry about a divorce and leaving your son with him alone. I just don't think it is fair to you and your son to have to live that way. I can definitely understand you not wanting to divorce him because your worried about your' son's safety. Try different things and hopefully it will work out for you and your little one.

Aicha - posted on 11/17/2010

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congratulations on the birth of your son! Sorry to hear about all the compactions and that your husband is acting like a immature jerk , it took courage for you to leave him and raise your son on your own

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