Expecting me to do everything?

Amelia - posted on 07/03/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I am 21 weeks pregnant and have been trying to find a part-time job since I got out of school in mid-June. It has been really hard though because of my lack of work the past couple years, attending school and because I can only work for 4 months.
My husband and I have been fighting a lot about money because he feels I should be contributing more. I sold our second car, have offered to take our 3 y/o son out of daycare and get rid of my pets(a large dog and 2 cats) in order to cut costs and take some "burden" off him for now. He refuses to allow me to get rid of the animals and says, well you'll just be too stressed with having Tanner with you 24/7. I argue back that we need to cut costs and I am willing to do this for him. It seems like there is no solution in sight and then when we talked about it again tonight, I offered to stay home with both kids for a while until I can go back to work after this bub is born.
He retorted, if you are staying home and not bringing in any money I expect the house to always be clean then and supper made every night when I get home, etc. Basically demanding I do everything under the sun just because he is the income of the household.

I don't know how to deal with this. Any suggestions on how to make him understand I am not super-woman and I will still need his help? :(

3 Comments

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Donna - posted on 07/06/2011

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That is such a tough situation- it's hard to become the "perfect" stay at home mom when that's not how you intended your life to look. I think discussing compromises realistically is the best solution- which is obviously easier said than done. Good luck hon!

Jeannie - posted on 07/06/2011

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I have been a stay at home mom for the past year now, up till then i worked full time, now we are expecting our 4th child and there is no way i am going back to work... But as a stay at home mom i expect myself to do everything.... My husband goes to work all day and busts his butt to bring home a good living so i am able to stay home and care for our children, i don't expect him to come home after working all day and have to clean and cook, as a wives and a mothers it is our job to keep the house.... now don't get me wrong, if both parents work outside the home then they should share equal house duties.... and i know its hard to keep up with everything when you have a newborn, and he should be understanding enough to realize that its not going to be perfect all the time...... But i do think that managing the house while your husband is at work is your job, and at the same time a blessing that youll get to raise your children and not someone else.

Brianna - posted on 07/04/2011

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my hubby expects me to do everything because im a stay at home mom and it was hard at first but my daughter is now 19 months and its gotten alot easier as she gets older.. when she was a newborn is was very hard. i am expected to make supper everynight and make him a lunch for the next day, i have to keep the house clean, and take care of my daughter and 2 large dogs, do all the paper work and books aswell take care of all meetings with other companys, banks, accountants ect. for our oilfield company, i also expected to make sure all personal bills are paid, i also have to do many of the renivations around the house such as i just finished redoing one of the bathroom on my own also ive been slowly painting the whole house. so i do agree that if your not working u should be at home with ur child and not have daycare also i think that you should be exspect to keep the house clean i mean the house is never perfect but clean as possible.

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