Expecting our # 2 but different feelings

Crystal - posted on 08/02/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi, I have been with my fiancé for 8 years and we have a 2yr old. We've always expressed to one another that we each would like more children and ever since the birth of our child we have not at all been taking extra precaution. Just yesterday I found out that I am pregnant and felt overwhelmed with the news but excited. After telling him and listening to his response I felt sad and down. I want to explain to you guys his point of view and would like all thoughts and opinions. He feels that financially we are unable to take care of another child and that it would be too much on me being that 6mos from now he'll be training for 6mos. He feels that we should not have this child now but in a year when things are better that we can try again. Being that I am at home with our 1st child and just recently started interviewing (few jobs lined up) He also says he doesn't want me to be alone and pregnant for it will be difficult with a new baby and a toddler. I want to have my baby but what do you think?

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Ana - posted on 09/07/2013

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I get his concerns. But you are pregnant now. So the plans should be how can we make things happen now that you are pregnant.

And if you want to keep your baby, try to find ways to show him that the cost of a 2nd child isn't going to be all that much. Fight for what you want, but men need to see the numbers...most of the time...

I just had my 2nd one and since it was a girl, I already have toooo much stuff from my first daughter that she never even used. I have an 8month old and a 3yrd old.

Also consider how many children you want, if you want your 2yr old to have a sibling??? Lots to consider.. but it's wayyyy possible...

Truth: Now that we have 2 kids, I told my hubby I would go to school part time to bring in extra money for diapers and formula and all the baby gear that I seem to like to buy but probably don't need. This way there isn't a strain on our regular house hold budget. And I go to school at night and on the weekends so I don't have to pay for daycare... and it has allowed me to put my 3yr old in part time preschool...

It can work

Lana - posted on 08/20/2013

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a year from now when you are pregnant knowing that someone will always be missing in your life. How will your children feel when they are big enough to know? There are women out there who are in much of a tight situation (not financially) but still want their baby.., I lost my son 9 months ago at 37 weeks pregnant...I would give up all the money in the world and live in my parents basement if I could hold him. Also with aborting you are risking them damaging your uterus and who knows where that can lead.

Crystal - posted on 08/03/2013

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Hi Tina. I thank you for your response and yes it def is a touchy subject. I feel the same; why abort to try for another in one year? Just doesn't make any sense to me and it just really isn't that simple of a decision and arrangement. I do want my baby and feel that if I don't keep him or her that I will be hurt always and regret it always. This I cannot live with in which for one reason I think I am def going with my heart. Just as you said there is always a something and life is full of surprises. Thank you much for the honest opinion, I will not regret having my child. k. I. t Take care as well

Tina - posted on 08/02/2013

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Ok honest opinion. This is a touchy subject. Why abort this one to start in a year? Things change in life and there are things we cannot take back. You want this baby not some thing inside of you..don't make a choice you may regret. It's an adjustment to your normal routine. In other words there will always be a something, a maybe not right timing etc. My opinion right now is the right timing.
This is whole heartedly how I feel and my opinion no one has to agree.
I hope you make a choice you won't regret.
Take care and be in good health.

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