I'm a step mom of a 5 year old, when should I tell her I'm pregnant?

Jennifer - posted on 04/22/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My husband and I are every other weekend parents, and my daughter (step) calls me mommy and loves babies and pregnant women. Always pointing them out. Her mom is not a nice-natured woman, prone to vindictive behavior. I worry that she might try to get pregnant just because I am. When should we tell her she will be a big sister without making her mom feel threatened by it? I am 10 weeks now and I think we should wait another 6-8 at least. We want her to have the memories of this experience but not the back lash from get mom. I know we cannot control her mom, but how can we protect her the most?

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Jessica - posted on 04/28/2013

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I waited to tell my own son until I was 16-18 weeks, just in consideration of making sure the pregnancy was viable and healthy. I also have a step-son and I left it up to his dad to inform his mom right before we told my son so there would be no over-lap. We have the same issue with the other mom. Then we have tried to make it just as special for both kids and plan on getting them both "big brother photo albums" so they can have their pictures taken at appointments, with the ultrasound pictures, and, of course, with "the belly". You definitely wouldn't want to wait longer and aggravate the situation by anyone finding out on their own before you said something.

Crystal - posted on 04/27/2013

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Are you planning on finding out he gender of the baby? If you are maybe tell her just before the appointment, and maybe even have her attend the ultrasound viewing too, or if you get a copy of it you can have a special home viewing. That will put you around 17-20 weeks along.

Mom - posted on 04/23/2013

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i think you should let the dad tell her, becuase he is the bio-parent and out of respect for the mother, even if she is a not so nice person..just make sure you are in the right all the time so there will be no drama on your part..

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Jennifer - posted on 04/23/2013

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We plan on telling her together (dad and myself) and letting her pick out a baby blanket to help get feel involved. I like the photo book idea, that's a fun way to hero her get exited.


I know she well be excited and happy. My big question its how far into the pregnancy should I tell her?

Anita - posted on 04/22/2013

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Sorry to say but I am pretty sure your daughter already knows most of the time a child can feel it before we do as the person carrying the baby. I would take her to a doctors appointment with you and tell her she can help with getting ready. What I have done is my God daughter Angel and I have put together a scrape book of the ultra sound phones so she can feel like she is making a difference for her little sister who is on the way. I have had her helping with getting clothes together and blankets and we have even thought of where she wants her sisters bed. Getting included has REALLY helped these last few weeks. I really hope this helps you.
Anita

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