I'm expecting for the first time...

Ashley - posted on 05/24/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I'm 19 years old. Living on my own and engaged. I'm expecting my first child in Dec 2, 2013 and I'm 12 weeks and 4 days pregnant. And currently on my own due to my fiancee being in jail for probation violation. I've been on my own since April 4. New to the city and quite young at that so far I've been doing well, except I recently got fired from the first real job I ever had. So besides welfare and wic support money is very limited. I'm in the Earn program to help find me a job. But I'm trying to get into YBI as well. And through all of this being pregnant hasn't been exactly easy or even a happy thing for me. I want to be happy but with everything going on or lack there of I haven't been. Please help me find peace?

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Christine - posted on 05/28/2013

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I'm sure you've heard it before and it def. won't be the last time you hear it, but life isn't fair. Especially when you are a young mom with no stability in your life (no offense), I was there once, 17 and pregnant in high school. But if you work hard, fight the obstacles, you will succeed, only if you don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself.

You are in a tough situation. Your S/O is in jail. That is so unfortunate. Probation violation? Are you sure you want to raise a baby with this man? Does he treat you with respect? Listen to you when you are upset? Have plans for the future? Does he have a good job? What are his goals? How does he treat his mother?

As for your job, people get fired. It happens. Don't beat yourself up about it. It happened, it's over. Time to move on. I'm not sure what country you live in, but here in the US, once you have a child, you are considered independent. You can go to college, without having to use your parents income. You will recieve A LOT of financial aid. *That is what I am doing, education is empowerment. And not to mention how proud you will graduating, while being a mom. And how proud your child will be of his/her mother* IF you decide to go to college, you can apply for the daycare voucher program, and you can take advantage of free childcare. You may qualify for food stamps. I take advantage of food stamps and health insurance for my son, and I too have a baby due 12/5/2013 and may take advantage of childcare because I am still in college. My son is 9, so I never had to use it before because his schooling was my help so I could go to school. Regardless, if you choose to further educate yourself, which I HIGHLY encourage you to do so, so you can find the peace you are looking for, otherwise your chances of success are low, especially being a single mom, but what I am getting at is...don't feel guilty for using the available resources for you and your baby if you are trying to further educate yourself to give both of you a better future. That is what those systems are there for. To be used, not abused. Now if you aren't in the US, I am not familiar with other systems. You would have to do some of your own research.

Seriously, go back to school. You will NEVER regret it. You will get plenty of aid to help pay rent, bills and maybe some extra spending money. But I also encourage work too, if you can. Good luck. I would like to keep in touch with you, as I know somewhat of what you are going through. If you need anything, please message me. I am on here often.

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