Is it ok to have sex while pregnant?

Beth - posted on 07/03/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Hi ya'll! I have a slight dilemma. I LOVE my dear husband more than anything and as an expression of our precious love, I am pregnant with our first child, due at the end of this year.



I'm about 4 months along now and getting bigger every day. I don't feel very sexy or even have the desire for sex like I used to, but my hubby wants to maintain the same sex schedule as pre-pregnancy. As my husband, he is my everything and I would do anything to please him. I just worry that as I get further along, I'm going to want to have it less and less. I know he will just get to the point where he will take it whether I'm in the mood or not. I don't mind if he does because in my heart of hearts, I want to please him but how can I increase my libido so it doesn't have to come to that?

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Stephanie - posted on 07/13/2013

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Pregnancy makes your sexual hormones go crazy. There is nights that I love having sex with my fiance and other nights i could go right to sleep. It's not an abnormal thing! Your husband should respect you and realize that sex is not always manditory. You have something amazing coming. It's not like you too will fall out of love just because you lack of making love! Just make sure he respects you! :)

Mrs. - posted on 07/11/2013

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You have a 'sex schedule' pre-kids? Is it something you both agreed upon or something that he expected/you complied with?

There are plenty of ways to please a man without penetration, if you are not up to it. Still, you may not want to if you're not in the mood, in general.

There is no telling how your libido will be later in pregnancy. My first pregnancy I was really into it all the time. My second, with twins now, is up and down. There is a possibility your libido will kick in again once the second trimester kicks into full gear.

I hate to say, though, there will likely be a time where it becomes very uncomfortable to keep a regular "sex schedule", no matter what that schedule might be. If, during that time, he'll "take it whether I'm in the mood or not" it may be a wholly unpleasant, stress inducing experience.

It might be a good idea to talk to your husband about this prospect. If there are issues communicating this idea without a mediator of sorts, your OB/GYN might be able to discuss it along with you/a pastor/a counsellor/etc.

In the end, this is more about communication of needs and fear with your partner than having to do with increasing your libido/making yourself pleasing.

Alicia - posted on 07/08/2013

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Ok here's my two cents. 1.) its not rape if youre willing to let him do it, even if youre not in the mood. I don't know how many times I wasn't in the mood but would let him know like "heads up, im not really in the mood and quite tired, however if you wanna..go for it. i might sleep thru it :) 2.) with my first pregnancy my sex drive didnt really decrease til after my daughter was born (however I had very few symptoms, and that helped a lot. Things probably would have been much different if I was puking every other hour) After my daughter was born for probably 8 months I didnt want anything to do with sex, we basically did it once a month just so he'd get out of my ass about it. Found out on July 4th im pregnant with number 2..heres to hoping I have the same kind of pregnancy. Everything will work out, just sit down and explain to him how you feel, and whats going on. :)

Sally - posted on 07/05/2013

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The two of you need to sit down and talk. Even the kindest and gentlest husband is physically incapable of understanding how pregnancy and motherhood change a woman's body and they have to be reminded frequently. If he wants you to want him when you're not feeling up to it, he's going to have to work harder to make you happy (and it won't get easier when you've had a baby hanging off you all day and all you want is to sleep). That may not be fair, but life isn't fair and parenthood is an enormous job that will change everything for both of you. You're already realizing that and he needs to soon or your marriage is in for a very rough time once the baby is born.
As far as "taking it whether your in the mood or not", that's rape. No matter how much you may want to "please him", rape is NEVER acceptable.

Rhiannon - posted on 07/04/2013

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You need to talk to him about this it doesn't sound like he is doing anything to help you feel good about yourself and as for taking it weather you are in the mood or not that doesn't sound like an equal or healthy relationship.

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