My Family jokes/acts like I will not be able to care for my baby

Janette - posted on 06/11/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I just finished my 1st year in college and I am due to have a baby next month. It wasn't planned and I am currently living with my parents and my boyfriend moved in, we both work and attend school and have been paying what we can in rent. Recently I mentioned to my sister I would only take online classes next semester so I can be with my baby, who will be barely 2months old when school starts in the fall. I was really hurt when she basically said it did not matter if I was here or not because my mom could care for my baby and a lot better than I could. She said I do not know what I'm doing and joked that the baby would not like it when I came around and would prefer my mom. Im trying to be a good mom I want to be the one to take care of my baby and now I fear they will constantly be judging how i look after my baby and trying to take him from me. I do not have the financial stability to move out yet, and I am not sure talking to them about me being capable will really affect their opinion. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Bailey - posted on 07/01/2013

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My family jokes with me too, because I am 20 years old, and this is my first child. I'm about 2 months and I take this pregnancy very serious and I have never been happier in my life, I love this baby and I wish my family could share and embrace my happiness. I believe in you, and every young mother out there.

Jameecka - posted on 06/28/2013

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wow, i would tell them not to say things like that to you because thats not nice at all and on top of that its very hurtful for a family member to say it more than if itwas a regular person off the street. as long as you know that you will be a good mom and that you know that you can take care of your baby, i would just laugh at them and ignore what they say yeah it hurts for them to say those things but you also know that they are wrong and oviously have some issues of their own. so if i were u i would try not pay them any mind and when they sayhose things just be yeah your right, im going to be a bad mom and we are going to be living on the streets, lol use sarcasim against them to let them know that you dont are what they say you know they are wrong! (;
keep your head up and dont let that stuff get to you, because when they see you are doing good and you are a good mother they will be the ones hurt and feeling stupid for saying things like that to you girl (; (;

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Eve - posted on 06/26/2013

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You can't let them get to you. The fact that you care enough to be worried about being a good mother means you're already halfway to being a great mom! It took my mom & MIL about 6 years of judging my parenting skills but I kept reminding them that I AM THE MOTHER before they finally backed off. I just kept telling them what my baby's pediatrician says, and showing them research articles that most of their advice are simply old wives' tales with no medical basis. Even my brothers always had something to say and I just reply in a joking manner, "when you have a baby of your own then you can talk." As annoying or hurtful their comments may be, it was easier to take it with a grain of salt by reminding myself that they probably feel they're not being a good mom/MIL/sis/bro of they didn't "offer advice" or "help out."

Joy - posted on 06/19/2013

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Dont pay their jokes too much mind ! You're going to be a new mother and it will be a huge learning experience, but don't let them belittle you !
Take their doubts as an opportunity to prove them wrong, and show them how great you can be .
Show them you can be a wonderful mom, but it won't hurt to accept alittle help from your own mom, take advantage of the help she can provide.

Congrats & good luck !

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