Pregnant by best friend's dad what to do?

Dani - posted on 01/07/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I've known my best. Friend's dad for years... I went to his house to get someting, and we sat and talked. He told me he's always been attracted to me. We ended up going to bed together (we used a condom) about 2 months later i started getting sick so i took a test. Positive.

I told him and said i wouldnt abort, he agreed it would be wrong and we should put it up for adoption because i'm not ready to be a mom.

I saw him at my best friend's birthday party this weekend. He got a huge smile on his face (perhaps thinking it was an excuse to get away from his ex) he was protective of me all night and would jump whenever someone ran toward me.

He sent me a text yesterday that said "hey, i've been thinking, i want to be a dad again. I want a second chance to be a father. Please lets talk about this, i know we could do a great job. Please call me as soon as you can."

What should i do? I dont want ro lose my best friend, but i want my baby too now...

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Danielle - posted on 02/06/2013

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I think there are a lot of questions you need to ask yourself!

First, how old are you?
When you say you aren't ready to be a mom does that mean you are underage? Or because you are ill prepared?

Second, what will this (having your best-friends fathers baby) do to your friendship.
If my best friend was pregnant by my father I would feel extremely betrayed by both parties. Do you think this child and your relationship would be accepted from the family? Not just his, but yours? And if it isn't, is that something you could mentally cope with?
Also, do you think it is fair to put that negative stigma on an innocent child?

IMO, the father seems like a creep!
And I don't think him "wanting a second chance to be a father" is any indication that he'd be a good one seeing as he slept with his DAUGHTERS friend. Someone the same age as his daughter!!
.. and he is starting to get depressed because he hasn't slept with anyone?!
It doesn't seem like a relationship. More like a long term booty call. Does he even love you?

If it were me, I would move and claim not to know who the father was. This could tarnish any kind of reputation you have.

I am sorry if I have come off a little blunt.
Good luck in the future.

Char - posted on 01/07/2013

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This is really tough! Sometimes we find "possibilities" in the strangest situations. I think first you and he have to work on a game plan. Where do we go from here? The really nice thing is he wants to support you through this. That makes a huge difference.

As for your friend, the two of you need to tell her together and as soon as possible. The last thing you want is the stress of holding in this secret to cause issues with your pregnancy. Be prepared her reaction could go either way. She could be totally pissed or she could be a little shocked but willing to accept it. Either way your relationship will change. No longer are you going to be able to complain to her about your guy friend's issues or dish about your sex life because it's her dad.

In the end you might have to make a choice a new relationship and baby or a best friend. It's a tough decision but you deserve to be happy. As a friend she should want this for you too.

Kaitlynn - posted on 02/23/2013

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I agree completely with Danielle Boughen. And would love to hear the answers to her questions! Sorry, But those are some things you seriously should consider asking yourself.

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Ramnee - posted on 03/17/2013

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Oo dear dnt do this to it child....

There's a generation gap b/w u both.... can u get along wid ur father for his views...
I m sure u don't... then how would u both will get along together... u'll end up bringing up
Ur child al alone... coz for this situation neither ur family nor his will come to give u a helping hand....

Char - posted on 01/07/2013

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Well it doesn't always take two people to be in a relationship together to successfully raise a child. Sometimes when two people get pregnant accidently they kinda throw themselves together and end up in an awkward situation that ultimately ends badly.

Most important for you is to make sure you are making the right decision for you and your child.

I hope things work out for you.

Dani - posted on 01/07/2013

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I don't think I could ever be with him... I know how he treats women too well. He was always very rude to my best friend's mom, however she did cheat on him with her now husband.

He and I talked at the party and he did bring up being in a relationship sort of.... He talked about the fact he hasn't seen anyone for a while and hasn't slept with anyone else in months and was starting to get depressed...

He's extremely good looking. He's always been very masculine, and I think, very attractive.

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