sex after baby

Megan - posted on 05/01/2010 ( 18 moms have responded )

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I was just wondering how long you all waited after having your children to have sex. I know the doctor says you should wait six weeks but did any of you have sex sooner than that? Is it really that bad to have sex sooner than that? I guess this is a question directed to mothers pregnant with a second chiled or an expierienced mom..plz help

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Autumn - posted on 05/04/2010

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I think that you shoukd wait until the doctor gives you the ok. My husband and i didnt have sex until i felt it was ok. I didnt want to before the doctor said it was ok because even though i felt like i could i wanted to wait because there maybe some internal issues you could have and i would rather be safe than sorry. Hope i helped

Mrs. - posted on 05/04/2010

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Hey,

I had complications because my stitches popped on my lateral tears (on my vulva just below where I would have to urinate, painful!!!). That being said, after that healed, about 4 weeks or so..I felt very ready. Although, I kept saying I want to wait for that 6 weeks appt. We ended up doing it at 5 weeks or so instead...we couldn't wait. I asked my mom about it, who's had 4 kids, she laughed and said they never waited the full 6 weeks (TMI really). Still, I found once I knew everything was okay and I could go forward...I stressed out a lot about getting pregnant again. That's were waiting a week or so to talk about birth control with the doc helps. It is possible too, that you might find that having sex that early, may not bring that "sexy feeling" back right away. If you don't wait it might be discouraging cause it's painful...I know that might bring me down in that most vulnerable post baby state. Maybe just stick to the outersex, fore play can give you that "sexy feeling" back without the potential pain and ego let down.

Cheryl - posted on 05/03/2010

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At only two weeks and even with minimal flow, you need to please wait. you are still at risk for infection. Like I said, there are LOTS of things you can do to avoid actual intercourse. I don't feel the need to list them- I'M the one in my 30s!!! You youngin's are supposed to be so much more "experienced" and "knowledgable" than my pruny, older generation ;-) Heck- I was still a virgin when we got married at 21!!!!!

Kristin - posted on 05/02/2010

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Definitely talk to your doctor about your specific situation. It depends on what happened to your parts during labor and delivery. There is nothing sexy about sex with stitches. The medical folks recommend we wait until six weeks to allow for healing and full closure of our cervix. That is the ONLY barrier our uterus has from most infectious debris; hairs, dust, etc..

Basically, have your doc check you out. Then only go as fast with this as you want to, not how fast your partner wants to go. Get some lubricant and go slow. Your sex life will come back and will be enjoyable. But, make no mistake, it is not the same as before. Kids have amazing timing.

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User - posted on 10/31/2012

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Me and my husband had sex 8 days after giving birth to our third. I had her at home and didn't tear a bit. There wasn't even any road rash, it was awesome. I'm convinced that continuing a healthy, which to us is almost daily, sex life was absolutely the contributing factor to my vagina looking almost normal after birth. It was a little "puffy" as my husband calls it. Besides that back to normal. We waited 4-5 days before having sex for the second time after birth. After that we were daily sex rabbits again. My third baby, but first daughter is 5 1/2 months and I think we're prego again. Just my mothers intuition telling me that. Have sex as often as possible when pregnant and your downstairs will be used to the abuse and will let your baby out nicely. Try it, enjoy, love life!!!

Elimar - posted on 05/24/2010

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Well megan, I do agree with Chantel. I does depend on your body, but a little advice to anyone thinking on having sex right after birth or two weeks after and so on, if you do not want to concieve again for a while, please... make sure that the protection that you are using works... I personally waited two weeks on my first birth and 4 weeks on my second... but here is what I have say to you... after two weeks of waiting on my first. My husband and I started with the jiggy wiggy game, and I ended up pregnant with my second child... And to top it all off we used condoms.... The same for my second birth... we waited 4 weeks and look at me again. I'm pregnant again... with another condom child... this time, I am making sure, I'm talking to my OBGYN and end this yearly baby making...

Ashley - posted on 05/24/2010

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only you can truly decide whether your ready. I wasn't ready till nearly 3 months later :( but I really couldn't without pain till then.

Desiree - posted on 05/23/2010

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I WAITED 3 WEEKS BUT ONE OF MY FRENDS TOLD ME SHE DID IT THE SAME DAY SHE HAD THE BABY IN THE HOSPITAL... HOW CRAZY ID BE NERVOUS THAT THE NURSE WOULD COME IN OR SOMTHIN...

Megan - posted on 05/02/2010

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All my stitches are gone and it doesn't hurt to go to the bathroom anymore (thank god) the bleeding is very minimal now. And I started my birth control today. It's been driving me mad.

I still feel so unattractive! My body is just gross. I hate it. These baby blues are slowly getting better my shitty self-image is still kinda weighing me down. But I have always been that way. I just want to have that sexy feeling again. I have tried going out with the girls new outfits I just can't seem to shake this feeling.

Denise - posted on 05/02/2010

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6 weeks. And it was a bit uncomfortable for a while. I still felt raw even when I used lube! But it didn't last to long and things were back to normal! I am soooo ready to have my son so my sex life can go back to normal! I have friends that didn't wait but a week or two and said it was uncomfortable but they did it anyways.

Megan - posted on 05/02/2010

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I'm the one that is ready. It's driving me mad! It has been a little over two weeks I feel ready

Cheryl - posted on 05/02/2010

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I know you may feel ready before 6 weeks but there is a reason your instructions when you leave the hospital says to wait six weeks for sex and really any other heavy exercise. Your uterus has to shrink down and heal, any excessive exercise or labor can cause your uterus to start bleeding again. Your cervix also takes time to clamp down and close off after being dilated to 10cm (look on a ruler!!!) Granted that only takes a few days but that's why they say not to take a bath, you can introduce germs that can cause infection.
If your partner is feeling lonly, there are many other things you can due other than direct intercourse....

Michelle - posted on 05/02/2010

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I have been there many times . I am on pregnancy # 7, baby #6 . With all I had absolutely natural births with no epesiotomy and only tore upwards during delivery where it was like little stretches tears .
#1 waited a couple weeks [natural birth tiny, tiny cervical tear no stiches]
#2 actually day after I went home
#3 about a week
#4 about 4 weeks due to my home situation had nothing to do with the delivery
#5 I nearly had to force Hubby to do anything other than outter course . It was the first time he was there for the whole thing with the youngest 3 kids and really took to heart what the discharge instructions said .
I also ended up with a post delivery infection . I stopped bleeding right after I got home and barely bled in the hospital . I would spot for a day or 2 and then nothing for a week, spot again , nothing . Ended up on antibiotics . So actually waited the 6 weeks .

I think a lot depends on how you feel and how things are going after . I would use your best judgement . Most of the time it seems there is fear of you getting pregnant soon after delivery and most dr want to see you in 4-6 weeks to discuss birth control .
I have had some dr's say wait until you stop bleeding , have your 6 week for BC to make sure no surprises until your healed , others say you will know when you are ready , and some will even just say not until you have been checked .
I do not think very many women wait until their 6 weeks . And it is always best to make sure if you don't wait if something does happen, you can get into your dr ASAP to make sure things are ok .

Amanda - posted on 05/02/2010

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with 1 and 2 i only waited 2 weeks. After the 3rd i had to wait a month. i think i may be due to the fact i was an older mom with her (11 yrs between 2 and 3). It really depends on how you feel, if you had stitches, a c-section, ect. play it by ear and/or speak with your OB if you're unsure.

Jane - posted on 05/02/2010

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i would definitely wait until you see the doctor for your post-baby check up. then decide how you feel on it. just go slow, your body has been through a great deal and it takes time for things to get back to a normal state. it will feel a little differently for him at first but as time goes on you'll get back to your regular state as things shrink back down. i just didn't have the interest as soon as 6 weeks but i gave in at 8 weeks both times.

Pamela - posted on 05/01/2010

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i agree with chantel, just depends on when u feel ready or comfortable. with my first i had sex for the first time about 2 wks later but with my second it was a month later. u'll know when ur ready and when u do just take it slow :)

Chantel - posted on 05/01/2010

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I had sex at 4 weeks after my first child, but ive herd later and much earlier, it all depends on how your feeling and how sensitive you are. I know the first time it was really sensitive, i wouldnt say hurt but definitly sensitive and had to take it slow but sometimes you just want it lol.

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