Unhelpful midwife. Need some advice please.

Hayley - posted on 12/04/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Every Appointment I've had with my Midwife has ended with me upset & in tears.

I'm completely new to the area I've recently moved to, I have about 6 different phone numbers I have been given to call for appointments, 3 different locations to visit her at....all of which take me at least half an hour to walk to as I don't drive and at least 3 of my appointments I've turned up for Ive been sent home because I was told I wasn't on their books or they weren't expecting me....... While all this is going on I'm 32 wks pregnant and have a 4 yr old in school full time and a 3yr old who attends pre school every afternoon.

Because of all of this I've had problems booking appointments at convenient times and getting there. I always ask for the latest appointment which is 4pm but they tell me I can't have that slot as they are not allowed to book them out of sequence!

I try and explain every time about the kids, school and the long distance that I have to walk to get there and so far all I've been told by my midwife that its tough, I have to attend all appointments no matter what my excuse or I'll be reported to social services! She also said that if its that difficult to make it earlier then I should consider keeping my children off school for the day so I can make her appointments.

Again I tried to explain my situation, I'm new to the area, I don't know where I'm going half the time, I feel very vulnerable and could do with some support etc... to which she just ignored everything I had to say and pointed out the whole social services thing again :(

Overall, the woman is rude, nasty, patronising, rolls eyes, tuts and treats me with utter contempt when I dare ask her for help or advice.

My partner took the day off to attend my latest appointment with me because I didn't want to see her alone and was utterly gob smacked at how she treated me.

Now I don't know what to do! I've got to see her again in 2 weeks time and I'm a wreck thinking about it. Should I complain, ask to see a different midwife? I don't want to make things harder on myself.......feel like a complete fool :(
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Helen Katrina - posted on 12/04/2010

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i'd definately change midwives, and put in a complaint about this one!!!

Rachel - posted on 12/04/2010

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try to find another, that is no way to treat anyone ... and being that pregnant.....

Aicha - posted on 12/04/2010

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I would get a new one asap and file a complaint against the midwife because of how she treats you

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I would switch to a whole different office if you can. Otherwise, you could still get her if she's on-call. Don't hesitate to change doctors. If she treats you like this now, imagine how she will treat you while you're in labor. I found my current doctor through the moms I met at breastfeeding support group. Do you have a La Leche League or anything like that near you? Maybe they could give you some names of good doctor's/midwives in the area. I didn't really like my doctor during my first pregnancy, but I felt like I was stuck with her because I was pregnant. If I ever feel that way again, I will not hesitate to switch.

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