Were expecting #2 and I'm scared

Amber - posted on 11/29/2010 ( 20 moms have responded )

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I have a 2 year old and am due in Jan, I'm scared because I'm not ready to give up my one on one time with my little guy. I want this baby but am not sure how this is going to all work how do I fit in one on one time with each child?

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Nikki - posted on 12/09/2010

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Mine are 13 months apart. For me it was easy because my daughter was so curious about the baby that we even got to spend time when I was caring for my new son. Also, newborns sleep a lot so you have lots of time in short bursts to spend with the older child. As the baby grows, the older will become less dependent and then you can play with both at the same time.

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Sandra - posted on 01/16/2011

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Don't worry about it at all! My boys are 19 months apart and I had the same worries as you. Let me just tell you that when you see that lil' babies face, you're going to fall in love all over again and it'll be okay!

Jaclyn - posted on 01/15/2011

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Amber what you're feeling is totaly understandable and is totaly normal!! I have a 4yrs old son and a 2yr old son and am due in Jan with a little girl. When i was pregnant with baby number 2 i felt exactly the same and you will be surprised at how well it will all work out. My first loved his little brother and he took it really well with no issues at all and now with baby number 3 both of my boys are really looking forward to having a little sister. You will love this baby as much as you love you little guy...you may not think this now but you will love them the same and will find time for both...trust me..otherwise i wouldn't be having a 3rd one lol. But it's normal to have doubts don't feel bad bout what you feel and think. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised when number 2 comes good luck

Jessica - posted on 01/11/2011

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My son will be 6 in march and i just found out i am pregnant the way i look at it.. is... my son is goin to school all day so that gives me time to spend with the new born and when he gets home my husband will be home that i will let him have the baby and i will spend time with my son. it will all work out i promise. We have been tryin to have a baby for 2/3 years now and its happening YAY!

Susan - posted on 01/06/2011

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Amanda' your little one should be about 12-13 months when the new one comes. My kids were all close together and I really worried about this with the first two, although they were a little bit further apart than your two will be.I made a really big deal out of the new baby coming home to see his big brother, and enlisted his help. He would get diapers for me, binky's bibs or burp clothes. Once I asked him to listen real close and tell me when the baby woke up. I stayed in the same room but I was reading. After about ten minutes my oldest came to tell me 'the baby's awake.It seemed a little too soon to me so the next time I did it I watched, and sure enough about ten minutes into the baby's nap my oldest was rocking the little bed very gently, but just enough so John would stretch and squeak, and Alan came to report that he was awake. Alan enjoyed being part of taking care of the baby. I used this same method with subsequent children and never had any jealously, or trying for my attention with any of them. It's such a simple thing. We even had story time, when the older one would 'read' to the baby. Of coarse they couldn't read but they thought they were reading and the baby listening to every word. Good luck Dear. Don't worry so much about this, I'll bet you can think of lots of other things to do to. Another thing I did was keep little toys or books etc on hand to give to the older ones, with a thank-you for helping Mommy today , and lots of praise.

Caroline - posted on 01/06/2011

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i have a 7yr old daughter and a 4 yr old son, found out i am expecting again, both children r over the moon, but i worry about spending time with both kids when this baby comes, my daughter has already said she will help as much as she can, bless her. my fiance works full time so its only gonna be me n baby as both other kids r at school n nursery.... good luck hun

Susan - posted on 01/04/2011

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You will still have plenty of time for your first child. Remember newborn's sleep a great deal of time, and when they get older you can stagger naptimes and bedtimes to get that extra one-on-one. Good Luck

Amanda - posted on 01/03/2011

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Im really worried too. I have a 7 months old baby girl and Im due in May with another girl. Right now my little girl is so happy, I hope she doesnt get jeaslous of the new baby.

Emilie - posted on 12/17/2010

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Argh!!! So Definately know what ure going thru, ive had 3years with my little girl, and sometimes its hard for me 2 adjust that she's not my baby anymore!! Im having another child, im so worried that i wont be able 2 do it, worried that i might sleep coz im tired after been up all night with the bubs, and ill miss out on taking my little girl 2 kindy! Or that i wont find the right Routine, so that both are just as important as the other! What im most afraid of is neglecting my 3year old, coz we all know how much attention that little 1's need, and i dont EVER want my girl 2 feel neglected! All i can say is, u will find a way. Us mommys have the strength in us somewhere, that find which way is best 2 suit your whole family!!!

Good luck.

Amanda - posted on 12/10/2010

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we all feel this waybut you will have time to have one on one time with both your kids i just had my second baby slmost 3 months ago and i get both my girls alone all the time no not like it was with just one but the one on one time you guys do get from here on out will be more lovely you will see

Kate - posted on 12/09/2010

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I've heard the book twice blessed helps, I haven't read it myself. But I had a friend recommend it to me when I was thinking about having my 2nd. That was a couple of years ago.

I am now pregnant with #2, and they will have an almost 4 year gap.

Hailey - posted on 12/08/2010

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its fine, i promise. My first loved every second with her brother and still includes him even now they are older, they are best mates. She even asked me for another brother or sister so it couldnt have been that bad! Turns out we are having another baby in July and not worried at all. They have never missed out, infact they have gained so much from having each other to play with, they learn from each other, learn to share, compromise. I did wory before my second was born, i remember sobbing, holding her and promising her nothing would come between us. I also worried about him being born and not loving him as much as Liesel, i couldnt possibly have, she was my world. But as if by magic, you do, with no favorites, it feels very strange and natural. It will be ok, im sure :)

and just too add, to share time with others is just as good than one to one time. One to one time will be found, but dont feel guilty if its not as much as u would have liked because guilt is such a pointless and wasted emotion. Just make sure its all happy as can be :)

[deleted account]

I do understand how you feel but it will all work out in the end. You learn to deal with it since you are already pregnant there isn't much you can do to change the outcome. However, you will always feel like your not giving you children enough one on one attention. That is normal to. The trick is to raise happy healthy kids without letting your hangups affect your kids. (EVERYBODY has hangups so no dig on you was intended)

good luck

Jemma - posted on 12/03/2010

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i just had my second and my 1st boy is 21 months. i find i get plenty of one on one time with my toddler. he isn't jealous or naughty. even though my bub has reflux and doesnt sleep much everytime i put him down i go straight to my toddler and do fun things with him. it will work out fine. x

Debra - posted on 11/30/2010

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I really understand! My daughter was 9months old when I found out I was pregnant with my son. We weren't trying for another baby so soon but accidents happen. I felt the same. That I needed more 1 on 1 time with my daughter before my son arrived. I spent as much time as possible with my daughter while awaiting the arrival of my son. My daughter is now 2 years old & my son is 6months old. Things are great! Even when my son was a NB. My daughter understood there was a baby around & always wanted to see him & kiss him. I get the 1 on 1 time when I can. When my son sleeps, I have 1 on 1 time with my daughter & the other way around. When I go run errands, I switch which child I take with me. When both kids are awake, I'll put my son on the floor for tummy time & sit next to him & play with him & my daughter. I was terrified when I found out I was pregnant again but things are great now!! You'll be okay :)

Desiree - posted on 11/30/2010

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i feel the same way! I am worried about my alone time, my time with my 4-year old, and my husband. We planned this pregnancy but now that it is happening, i feel scared and overwhelmed.

Amy - posted on 11/30/2010

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My baby was awake when my older daughter was napping, but napping most the time she was awake. it just seemed like i had tons of one on one with each. My daughter also helped "calm" baby Mason when he came by putting her hand on his back when he was nursing. She felt like a huge helper and I feel we actually grew closer because of her new brother. Little brother also went to bed earlier at night and we did games or tub play before bed and read books to her. I know it seems impossible before, but after you'll probably be thinking, That wasn't so bad!

Dora - posted on 11/30/2010

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I definitely can relate. I have a 2 1/2yr son and am pregnant with baby #2. I have spoken to other mothers and the one piece of advice I keep hearing from them is to include the first child in everything you do with the 2nd. This way the first child doesn't feel like they are being placed on the back burner and also it is a way to spend quality time with both kids at once. Also with the one on one time if the other parent is involved then work out a schedule where 1 parent takes one child for 1 on 1 time and the other parent takes the other child. this will at aleast give both parents a chance for 1 on 1 time with each child.

Hayley - posted on 11/29/2010

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I have a 3yr gap between my 2 & we are now expecting no 3 so my daughter will only be 1.5. We did alright, the baby sleeps a lot for the first year anyway so I used to use that time to spend with my son. The house was usually a bit messy but the kids are going to be aroubd longer than the mess so its worth it. We would even go for a walk sometimes when my husband would get home so that was good to. This time around though he will go to daycare 2 days a week but I will have my daughter at home so its going to be a little different.

Stephanie - posted on 11/29/2010

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I totally understand how you feel. My little man just turned 1 almost 2 months ago and i just found out that i'm pregnant. I am sad for him because I feel like I'm taking away from him. Let me know how things go. Congrats though!

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