Sibling Fights.

Kylee - posted on 02/18/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Can anyone give me ideas on how to stop the kids from fighting? We send them to their rooms, we confiscate things and make them go without treats eg, dessert maybe. The fighting is normal. They are actually nowhere near as bad as my brother and I when we were growing up. Problem is, their is no reprieve, as I'm sure you mums out there can relate to, because there are 5 of them. If we stop two of them, another two start or one starts on a different one. We have even made them change bedrooms etc., in an effort to separate and rejoin with different siblings. My partner was one of 5 and he and his mum have told me that they really never used to fight. They all got along so well. How do we make them appreciate one another instead of treating each other like scum? Hope someone's got some ideas because I'm starting to think the disciplinary measures used by Lois in Malcolm in the Middle are looking really good...lol!

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Sherry - posted on 06/28/2010

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We have actually not allowed them to have anything to do with that siblings for a certain amount of time and ALL privilages are taken away, tv, games, ipods etc.. It works with the older ones.
We have also grounded them from their rooms with nothing but a book, My oldest one has actually had all her favorite clothes taken away and had to wear what I chose of coarse it was things she would NEVER wear.. The younger ones 3 & 5 a simple spanking or grounded from their favorite thing works great, My 11 yr old has to be sent to bed for the remainder of hte day. Each child is different and responds to punishment differently so u just have to explore to find their weakness.
I hope this helps..

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Kara - posted on 10/03/2011

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I like the advice I will have to try some of these because my 11 and 5 year old drive me crazy going back and forth.

Stacy - posted on 03/15/2010

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Good luck! We have similar issues, only it seems to come in waves. There are seasons of everyone getting along and then all at once we have behavior meltdowns! Everyone is being mean to one another... then back to being nicey nice. Maybe a full moon? lol

A few things we have tried to add to the family.. is "speaking life" into one another. Teaching them that there is power in your words and you build one another up or down.. whatever you choose.

What we do~ maybe once a week while in the car or at the dinner table we go around the table saying one nice thing about each person. Ex. we start with Dad. Each child says one positive thing about dad, then dad picks the next person.... it takes time and you may experience them being negative about the entire lame game... "well Sally, you are not as ugly today as you were yesterday"... which at that point you just kindly step in and say. "let me help you... Sally is a kind person.. she helped me put the groceries away today"

This past week while driving to walmart my 7 yr old says.. look at that junky house (i think it was abandoned). My 6 yr old says, it doesn't matter how it looks on the outside, a house is for protection. (interesting angle on it..lol). the seven year old was impressed with his theory I guess because her reply was... Brendan, see you are so smart.

I seriously almost teared up. I think our kind words are starting to work.



When I hear someone say something negative, they have to say two positive things about the other person. And if they can't, they get to go to bed until they can.



My teenagers are home schooled. Being together ALL day gives ample time for insults...so I am always looking for new ideas to approach this..

look forward to checking back and seeing what others have written.



Stacy

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