Love Family Bed but NEED help please?!

[deleted account] ( 1 mom has responded )

I've tried to write this twice now and there are so many things I have decided to turn it into a list in the hopes it may be easier to follow..... So here goes......

*In the middle of relocation, staying with friends in much smaller space till our place ready and we are a family of 4 (my husband, myself, our 3 yr old daughter and 9month old son).

*Room working out with all in small bedroom with air mattress for 3yr, small mattress for 9m old and double bed for me and dad.

*Have had multiple moves in daughter's first 3yrs so nighttime bottles were an issue (and quite possibly our daughter's way of dealing and comforting so we allow). Only in last few days has this started to taper off and she is sleeping longer and longer with no need for bottle. HOORAY!

*But then there's......... Daddy.
-GREAT Dad but falls asleep early or doesn't get involved in ANY nighttime routine unless I go nuts.
-Will insist some nights on watching concerts, movies, sports whatever and we all know that is a HUGE distraction when trying to get kids down at night. Once they are asleep they pretty much sleep through anything.
-Was the one who INSISTED and STILL does on us having Family Bed but does NOTHING to help me some days get things (and with that I mean my children) under control and settled down for bed.
-Kids LOVE eachother and when I make the HUGE mistake of letting daughter skip nap 7:30-8:30pm is CRAZY NIGHTMARE hour and he just lays there like he's invisible and I remake bottles, get them down, wrestle them apart as they are playing etc and try to seperate so they will calm down and sleep. Like tonight when after all the chaos it took literally 3minutes and BOTH out! How is Dad you ask??? BEEN sleeping.

So, other than kill Daddy, get him a labotomy and make him Mrs. Doubtfire, Mr. Mom or run away and join a circus "How does everyone else cope with nighttime drama?"
Like I said, I LOVE them with me and yes they have no structure whatsoever currently when it comes to nighttime routine. USUALLY all I need is a quite room, a bottle for each, all their normal "snuggle bugs" and all is well. It just seems lately everything has gone crazy.... including me!!
Am I being too hard on myself? Am I truly crazy in actually thinking that all these changes aren't going to affect anyone? Routine Shoutine Ah, what do "they" know? ALOT apparently.

So, if anyone can follow my rant, I would LOVE suggestions on how to kill my husband. TOTALLY KIDDING just seeing if anyone was still there.
I would love to know if there is anything I can do to get some sleep. I have heard it is REALLY GREAT. And I WANT some. Plus I am going gray faster than I'd like due to stress of the waking, putting down, getting up every 2hours and having to battle everynight lately to get everyone to calm down for bed. I seem to be the only one who really WANTS to sleep but ends up being the one who NEVER gets it.
By the way I have tried to sleep elsewhere so I can be somewhat normal and nobody (my husband) hears them but me so I may as well stay in same room, less distance to travel in the pitch black.

Thanks for listening , I look forward to all replies.
Also, please don't tell me to put my foot down and demand help from my husband like all my friends and family say.... that doesn't always work, nor does it always help and sadly some days just doesn't apply.


Ticia - posted on 11/16/2010




i totally understand the hubby not helping cuz mine works long hrs an by the time her gets home he might last a couple hrs an im on my own w/our 4 yrold daughter..which im a stay nome mommy so i got her all the no complaints here i love it this way but he complains about her being in our bed an all this crap that she needs to be in her room..but i love her in our bed ab we have such a huge bed we all 3 have plenty of the put your foot down thing is bull cuz it never worked on my there away to make more room for you guys to sleep instead of a air mattress..would lots of comfy blankets an pillows on the floor help since you have limited space now an it would give ya more i can only say get used to th fact that our own your own throught the nite i have been when my hubby goes to sleep he hears nothing unless im screaming at i do try to have him make up for it in other ways he does..sundays at the playgrorund just him an our daughter to give me sometime an he'll take her to the store o when he run's errands so i can get sometime..this did'nt happen with out me suggesting it of course..but he now enjoys doing this because he get to see her so little through the week that it gives him more time with not sure if this will help you but i so understand where your coming from an in someway you kinda gotta get some sorta schedule w/ your little ones...not some thing on but sorta like a certain time for there bottles or when there putting on there pj's, brushing teeth, maybe read a bedtime story to establish that this means its time to lay down...little things can help not meaning do them all but try something like this or if you have your wn ideas try them an see if they work know your little oines more then anyone else an how u can get them to do daughter has slept w/me since she was about 2 an i love it sometimes daddy gets crabby about it but u remind him the day will come when they will not want to be around us like that an will no longer be cool to hang out with so we should enjoy the needing us so much now before it goes away an there totally independent an tell us to get kidding but u know what i mean an i hear y ain the id love to strangle my man but then were would i put the totally kidding i jusy go with what works an he learns to deal one way or the other cuz in the end kids come first an men are like big kids an mine at least admits if tv keeps kids up turn off if reading helps them sleep do it or singing to them helps do that try all an then till you find what works for your family..mine is no tv an i read to my daughter everynite an we talk some before we go to sleep an of sourse she has to be touching em in someway w/her foot or hand ...she can't sleep anyother way she has to have my hubby totally understood if he was keeping her up an he wold sleepon th epull out coutch or guest room till we gotta system down ..cuz i said if he was not gonna be part of the solution ...he was goons get outta my way till i got an established bed rouitne...put pjs on brush teeth wash face maybe watch 1/2 hr of cartoons or 1/2 hr of reading close blinds keep outside noise to a minimum...just some ideas...hope all works out an u get sleep i so hear ya on being sleep deprived cuz it does'nt always mean she sleeps soundly everynite....take care ticia an my daughter bria wishes ya well an also my soon to be hubby mike does too!!!

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