daddy doesnt wanna play

Jessica - posted on 04/14/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

18

1

1

okay so together my huband and i have a 1 year old lil girl my daughter is really attached to my husband but unfortunately he has been acting really distant lately and never wants to play with her :( he says that he works and is tired but its hard because i have her all day and she is just ecstatic to see him i try to let him know that she loves him and misses him but he just doesnt seem to wanna try any harder i know he loves her with all of his heart but i just dont know if maybe its the stress thats whats killing him any suggestions or abyone else experiencing this?

4 Comments

View replies by

Elizabeth - posted on 04/17/2010

2

2

0

The father of my daughter has the same issues. It seems as though he wants nothing to do with her. He is the one who works in our household so i understand that takes a huge toll on him but i know that it is taking a toll on her as well. He works graveyard shift so he sleeps all day. He seems to be able to hang out with his "buddies" and go on fishing trips more than he does anything concerning Isabelle. Whereas the other mothers in this response say that bringing it to his attention may work, i tend to disagree. I brought it up to him and his response is always that he does play with her and that if there is a problem with the way that he does it. It is his to be concerned about. I honestly believe that no men are not born to raise children but once they have them most change to make it work. If they dont start making it work soon. They arent ever going to.

Sally - posted on 04/15/2010

2

16

0

Not to bring you down, but I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. Hunter lovers her daddy, and he just now got to where he will play with her. The only downside is that he completely ignors our 1 year old son. He says that he hates holding him, because he isn't comfortable, and Braxton can sense that, then he starts cyring. I know it is frustrating for both of them. But our pediatrition told us to try to do activities when we are all there. We did this and then a few minutes into play time I will get up and leave. Neither kids really notices, and my husband is a lot more confident. Good luck

Helen - posted on 04/15/2010

210

39

11

maybe he's not sure how to interact with her? As Hathaichanok said - men are not born to raise children!
Maybe during the week try to distract your daughter a bit when daddy comes home to give him some space, but then at weekends, try to get him to play with the two of you, so he can see how you play with her, and you can encourage his interaction with the positive reinforcement!! lol

Also - remember that dads play and act differently from mum, and that he may just be feeling insecure as he sees you being so confident with your daughter. He may feel that he can't do as well as you, and be needing you to tell him that it's ok for him to be different with your daughter. Also - do you go out and leave the two of them together? It might be that a bit of 'forced' interaction might be all it takes for dad to realise just how special the realtionship with his daughter can be.


My husband had a bit of this with our son - he would start to do something then ask me to help/take over - not because he couldn't do it, but because I was so much more confident and *seemed* more capable, and because he couldn't do things my way. I got really upset one day when he did this because I was really looking forward to just 5 minutes without my son, and it ended up with me telling him straight to get over himself and get on with it in his own way. He has been fine ever since, and really enjoys spending time with Miles now.

It might take a bit of time, but I'm sure you'll get there, just try to keep the communication going.

Good luck

Hathaichanok - posted on 04/15/2010

15

3

3

At least he should hug and give her a kiss after his work. My husband said working is much less tired than raising a baby, Lucky me!. May be you have to let him rest for a little bit and try not to say or tell him to play with the girl just let it go. After he rest enough he might play. Sometimes we need to understand the husband, they are not born to raise the baby, sometimes they don't even know how to talk or play. Give him sometime.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms