Grandmother Issues

Sarah - posted on 10/12/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My husband and I welcomed his second my first daughter into our family in Feb. 2009. He has a 6 yr old daughter from a previous marriage. We have partial custody of her and she actually spends the majority of her time in our home. Both of my husbands parents are deceased. His stepmother has raised him since he was 3. Right now my husband and I are struggling with the feeling that our second daughter was getting any attention from her "meme" and that eldest daughter was getting it all. We tried talking about our feelings with her on several occasions. She continually denied it. We invited her over one evening to discuss it and she was upset that our eldest wasn't there. When we brought up how we were feeling and asked her to split her attention equally she informed us that she had no desire to have a relationship with our youngest. That maybe she would try when she was 6 yrs old. She then brought in some unecessary comments about my husband's relationship with his now deceased father that were very hurtful to us. And also some hurtful comments about me. We have since decided to cut ties with her and are not allowing the children to see her. (She has gone through the eldest's mother to see her and so she told us she does not care to see the rest of us.) Sometimes I feel like we are in the wrong. Are we? What would you do in our situation?

2 Comments

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Dawn - posted on 10/12/2009

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I think it be wrong to take the oldest daughter completely from her grandmother, it is an issue between the adults in the family, so I would continue to let he see her through the mother. I would then take the time to work on the relationship between her and you and your husband; there has got to be some valid reason for her behavior, just don't let it interfer too much with your life. If she indeed is just acting like a selfish child, then let her act like one and write her off.

Brandi - posted on 10/12/2009

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i would do the same thing if she has no desire to see u three and is being rude about the whole thing i would defently cut ties. I would also try to talk to the older daughter's mother about letting her see her she doesn't want to spend time with all of u she shouldn't spend time with any of u. my mother doesn't want to spend time with my son so i let it go and don't force it apon her if she doesn't want to see my son y should she see me

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