My baby isnt sleeping through the night any more.................

Kara - posted on 11/20/2009 ( 18 moms have responded )

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My baby has always been a good sleeper, but recently he crys everytime I put him to bed. Even if he is already asleep in my arms when I put him down. He will continue this for almost an hour or until i cant take it anymore and pick him up. How do i get this to stop. He is also not sleeping throught the night anymore. Is this because he is teething or is something else going on? How can I get him to sleep through the night again?

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Rebecca - posted on 12/14/2009

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Don't worry, this is totally normal at this age!! We're dealing with the same thing with my son. The issue here is separation anxiety. Another mom mentioned a 9 month "sleep regression," but please realize this is a normal developmental milestone, that your baby is realizing that you've left him and is becoming fearful. I completely disagree that you should leave your baby to cry, alone, for as long as it takes for him to fall asleep. That is the worst thing you can do in this situation. He needs reassurance, not to be abandoned. Please consider a more sensitive approach with gradual separation until he adjusts to this newfound awareness of "together" and "apart".

A baby who is normally well-rested will usually be able to adjust fairly quickly and get back to a normal sleep pattern within a few weeks of these major milestones. You mentioned that your son was sleeping through the night and now is not. But how does he sleep during the day, and what time is he going to bed? You need to look at the overall sleep picture. It may seem paradoxical, but "sleep begets sleep". An overtired baby will not nap well, will have trouble falling asleep at night, and will wake up more often at night. Your son should still be getting a total of 14-16 hours of sleep each day, with 11-12 hours at night.

As far as bedtime, in my experience as a nanny and a mom, I've found that earlier is better! Babies this age should be asleep by 7-8 PM. If he's still awake past 8 PM, that's too late. Try moving his bedtime routine ahead by 15-20 minutes tonight, then in 4 days or so, move it ahead another 15-20 minutes, etc. Speaking of bedtime routine, try to make it last 20-30 minutes, including some combination of bath, diaper, massage with lotion, PJs, brush teeth/gums, read a book, sing a lullaby, rock, nurse or bottle...whatever works for you.

If you time it right (begin the routine before baby is acting very tired), he should be very drowsy by the time you're finished, and you can put him down awake in his crib. He should be able to fall asleep within about 10 minutes on his own. This week, go to him if he's still crying after 5-10 minutes, and try to soothe him in his crib (lay him back down if he's standing up, rub his back or belly, sing quietly to him). You need to reassure him that you aren't abandoning him. Gradually lengthen the amount of time you wait to go to him. He will probably continue to cry (loudly!) when you first leave him each night, but as long as he stops crying within a few minutes, it's fine. If you wait too long to start the bedtime routine, and he's overtired, he may cry longer -- give him 10-15 minutes to soothe himself, then go in and soothe for a few minutes.

While you're dealing with this milestone, make sure that your son gets plenty of day sleep through regular naps, and stick to a consistent nighttime routine with bedtime between 7-8 PM every night. Consistency is key! Realize that he will protest when you put him to bed (loud crying for a few minutes), but if he's still crying after 10-15 minutes, go in and soothe him for a few moments, just to reassure him. If you follow these tips, you should see an improvement within a week or so. Keep in mind, though, that sleep changes are normal with every developmental milestone! Enjoy it when your little guy is sleeping great, and make sure you're well-rested so that you can better deal with the rough spots! Good luck!

Rebecca - posted on 12/14/2009

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Wow, I just read the other comments...yikes! Some questionable and even BAD advice above. Here are some facts:

Extensive research on infant sleep by Dr. Weissbluth has shown that giving a big meal (milk and/or solids, including rice cereal) before bedtime has NOTHING to do with baby's sleep cycles. If a baby is truly starving, then s/he may not sleep well. But that's an extreme case. In general, the "big dinner equals longer sleep" is an "old mom's tale." As for the "turkey makes you sleepy" advice, that's pure myth. Check this out: http://www.snopes.com/food/ingredient/tu...

Several moms gave advice about teething, but you're not even sure if that's the issue. Please don't start using drugs to treat a problem that might not even exist! The advice to give Tylenol every night could be quite dangerous. Tylenol is very easy to overdose and it will build up in baby's liver, which can cause long-term health problems and even death. Most doctors recommend using pain relievers as a last resort to treat teething pain.

As for the Orajel, doctors are split, but our family doctors strongly advises NOT using it for teething babies, because the gel is immediately washed off the gums and down their throats, which could cause their airway to become numb and swell, leading to suffocation. It's also very difficult to dose the gel correctly, and if you use too much, baby will absorb it and that can lead to all kinds of dangerous symptoms. This is all on the box, but most people ignore the warnings. Please read this: http://www.drugs.com/mtm/orajel-baby.htm...

I'm not saying this to cause unnecessary fear, but to remind moms that these are drugs that should be used with caution, not given every night "just in case." Our babies rely on us to parent them, 24/7, even if it disrupts our sleep!

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Altanice - posted on 01/10/2010

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Well if you feel its his teeth you should try to put baby orgel on his gums before bed. Also i have found it that my daughter likes to listen to music such as nursy ryhmes while she trying to go to sleep and also if you hold him he will feel the warmth and your heart beat so try put him in his crib before he is sleep. Also there is a bear you can buy that has the heart beat noise try that if not then take him to the doctor or call the doctor to see if there is something else. because my daughter went throgh it but hopefully what i told you works. GOOD LUCK!

Shivonne - posted on 01/09/2010

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Well, it is good to know I'm not alone. My son was always a good sleeper. Woke in the morning around 7:30ish and back for a nap from 10:30 - 12:30. He would then usually fall asleep for another nap from about 4 - 5. Bedtime has always been and still is 8:30. Well we moved into my in-laws place where he is in the same room as us when he was 8 1/2 months old. He will be 11 months on the 14th of Jan. and has not slept properly since we have been here. He is now at the point where he sleeps for 1 hour during a 13 hour day and wakes about 3 - 5 times during the night. He has cut his first 2 teeth in the past 2 months but it doesnt seem to bother him alot. The seperation anxiety seems like a good possibility cause alot of times he wakes just screaming and cuddling and comfort usually does the trick. I guess nightmares would cause the same reaction. I have tried so many things and to be honest......I am exhausted and out of ideas. If any of you find one that works please post it.

Kamal - posted on 12/15/2009

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Lots of good advise Rebecca. I was actually really happy to hear about not over-medicated babies. I'm a pharmacist and I hate giving drugs unless I know what's wrong. Every time my baby girl Mya cries, I hear my husband start his suggestions about Tylenol. I feel it taking up soo much energy just to say no. Tylenol before vaccines and when there are lots of cues the baby is teething and in pain is fine, but not just so I can sleep.



Worst part is that Mya is 10 months now and never has she slept through the night. At 2-4 months she slept 5-6 hours straight but since 4 months old she's up every 2-3 hours to nurse to fall asleep. She's basically using me as a soother. I tried to let her cry it out one night and that was the WORST 1.5 hours of my life, and I just don't have the heart to do that to Mya again.



Now if I try the gentle approach of not picking her up but just trying to sooth her with singing, patting, etc, she gets hysterical and the one time she hit her head against the crib, I couldn't take it and just picked her up.



So now it's been 10 months and I'm a zombie...okay a very happy zombie cuz I just absolutely LOVE motherhood. But it would be nice to sleep soon. I put Mya in a sleep study where I learned babies go through 1 hour cycles of active and quiet sleep. Active sleep they smile and may laugh and move around, then quiet sleep where there is no movement. What happens is that when babies transition back from quiet to active sleep, they need to learn to put themselves back into sleep and that's where the debate starts on method to use. Currently I'm going into the nursery to nurse and put her to sleep but I know I should let her fall asleep on her own. I heard that if she doesn't learn to put herself to sleep, it's hurt her developement and cause sleep problems in the future??? Wish there was a way or even if I knew they'll just grow out of it naturally.

Jennifer - posted on 12/15/2009

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My son is the opposite....he did not start sleeping through the night until about 3 weeks ago....so, at 9 months. The past week, he has been waking up 1 time during the night...but, that's better than the every 2 hours up until about a month ago! I think he's getting another tooth, so he's been a little grumpy....but, things are better at night than they were. :)

Sunshyne - posted on 12/14/2009

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Hmm I feeling like you mam my daughter is 10 months and wakes up many times at nights

Kim - posted on 12/10/2009

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my daughter is usually a good night sleep too but the last 3 weeks have been tiring every morning usually bout 2am she wakes up crying and takes ages to go back to sleep i know i shouldnt go in there but i dont want my other child to wake up too,but i leave it for at least 10mins or so and put her dummy back in and shut the door.i discovered 3 days ago shes cutting 3 top teeth,oh how i wait to sleep all night again,i even been giving her panadol and teething gel b4 bed too!

Kelly - posted on 11/30/2009

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my little boy had never had a full nights sleep but he wud go to bed no bother but a couple of week ago he became ill with a virus and wouldnt sleep in his cot at all. once he was better he had got used to goin to sleep in my arms but once i put him in the cot he would wake again ( even during the night after a feed!) i felt so stressed through out so i got to the point of trying controlled crying, even in the middle of the night when i was exhausted but after all the persisting it has paid off and now my baby sleeps right through from 7 at night until 7ish in the morning. he eventually realised that he could cry all he wanted but it didnt get him anywhere. i didnt think he would ever sleep right through but it just goes to show that if i didnt give in to his demands he would eventually learn

Noelle - posted on 11/28/2009

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My daughter went through the same thing! She has always been a great sleeper and around 8 1/2 months, she wouldn't go down without a fight. about 3 weeks later, she got her first two teeth in and she started sleeping like a champ again. Just a few days ago, she started getting a tooth on top in, and sure enough, the nighttime fight started again! all i can say is that, in my case, it worked itself out with teething. Hopefully it will be the same for you! good luck!! and hang in there!!!

Bess - posted on 11/27/2009

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Ahhh *sigh*..glad I'm not alone...just in the past few weeks Teddy's been waking up crying really badly and then will only go to sleep if my hubby snuggles with him or if I nurse him...and the last 3 days even hubby can't help...it's really difficult right now. Even naps are somewhat of an ordeal if we try to put him down even if he's already sleeping..We actually have to somewhat hold him down til he eventual settles into a sleep (between 30 secs and 5 minutes of holding down and not...it sounds worse than it is :)) I hope this goes away soon, but not sure if it's teething or not..seems like he's been teething since he was 4 months old!! I suppose it doesn't help that he's in bed with us or the fact that we can't just let him cry it out...both for heartache and the fact that he starts crawling all over us, wailing..Just glad to hear that this is somewhat of a typical stage...btw, he's only slept through the night a handful of times...I've just found that letting him cry it out is harder on all of us trying to get a "good" night's sleep. Would love to hear more info on all of this. Thanks!

Stephanie - posted on 11/21/2009

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It really could be a number of things. I would suggest looking at the baby's mouth, teething pain can come long before teeth actually arrive. Watch to see if your baby sticks stuff in his mouth, chewing particularly on one part. Check his temp, if he feels warm, or if he's drooling more than usual, try some night time oragel and some infant tylenol, but be careful and give it a few minutes to make sure he can swallow bc I heard orajel can make it hard for them to swallow (personally have not had any problems with that though) What kind of food are giving him? I've been giving her half a jar of Gerber 3rd foods (the turkey meals are best because turkey has a natural sleep agent), bath, nighttime calming lotion, brushing her teeth and then giving her her toothbrush and letting her get that urge to chew out of the way, little bit of orajel and sometimes tylenol if she's warm, 7oz of bottle in her glider chair and she's usually out for the night.

Kim - posted on 11/21/2009

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I spoke to a sleep specialist when my son went through the same phase a few weeks ago (his phase went on for months), the specialist informed me that at around 8 months babies become very aware of their surroundings and start having nightmares, all it takes is one thing to change in their routine that they didnt like that could then be accociated with going to bed. for example fireworks woke my son up and continued to bang and scare him, he then never slept for a few nights after if stopped

Sherrina - posted on 11/21/2009

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It could be teething, the need for motherly comfort, or just plain babies being babies. No one every really knows what the cause is but as mothers we just do what we do best and try to nurture them to the best of our ability. I say "hang in there." It will go away eventually, maybe later than sooner, but it won't last forever. Keeping a routine is always a good idea but sometimes just being there when they need us works too. Do what works best for yours and soon you'll enjoy your sleep as much as they enjoy theirs...

Kara - posted on 11/21/2009

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Thank you Melissa, I just need to bite the bullet and let him cry himself to sleep. Should the same rule apply if he is teething as well. Maybe give him some tylonal and put him back to bed... Thanks again, I am glad that it's not just me :O)

Toni - posted on 11/21/2009

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My wee girl - was sleeping straight through or maybe only one wake up from newborn to 5 months. THEN bam....teething rocked her boat and its only now at 9.5months that she is back to sleepin through again. I think the 4 teeth that came through and now there is a bit of a gap...Also in the last 2wks I never had ever given Keira a dummy - but for nite only sleeps I give her one now. To tell you the truth I love nite sleeps now

Vanessa - posted on 11/20/2009

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I know what you are saying my lil man wakes up every nght now at 2 and crys crys so bad that he makes him self sick and rames his face into the crip till he bleeds so i have to pick him up but my mistake was i put hm in my bed so he now wants to be with me all the time if u find out what workd please share

Melissa - posted on 11/20/2009

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There is a huge sleep regression that goes on around 9 months of age. It's typical and will usually resolve itself on its own. Everyone that I have talked to said that their baby had went through this as well. I just went through it for a couple of weeks, and now she is back to sleeping through the night. What I did is stick to her bedtime routine. I put her to bed drowsy but not asleep and walked out. She would cry, but I wouldn't pick her up. Picking them up will just reinforce that crying long enough will mean that they get picked up. Of course, it may not even be sleep regression that he is going through obviously teething could cause this same thing as well...I knew my daughter's was just a regression though and not teething. I know I'm probably talking in circles lol but I hope that helps or atleast lets you know that you are not alone!

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