Is it wrong to say your not welcome on non visits

Shaely - posted on 05/15/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have come to the point where I would really like to tell our Daughter that she can not come to our business and can not come to our house unless she is picking up her daughter for their 6 hour a week visit.

I am finding her yelling and lies beyond my tolerence level, she makes a point of upsetting baby ( who we have been raising since pretty much birth) and leaving abruptly. I think she comes for just that reason.

We find ourselves in the position of retaining a lawyer as Mom feels that because she is pregnant again she should have the daughter she abandoned at 31/2 weeks old. I mean litterlly she was living at home left in the middle of the night and told no one; thinking something was not right I went to check on baby before leaving for work (Thank God) and no Mom. She returned 4 days later. We went and got court ordered custody......................I really am fed up with the daughters games, lies and am at my witts end! Any Suggestions???

2 Comments

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Bj - posted on 06/12/2009

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Suggestion number one would be: Do not come here unless you intend to act like a human and have respect! You did not say how old your daughter is. Sorry to hear she is pregnant again, just boggles the mind to us parents! Why thye do not protect themselves against pregnancy especially when they have already gone thru that and did not live up to the responsibility!! This is your home and you have every right to EXPECT respect from whomever enters. I hope for the baby's sake that you & hubby go for full custody and squash her rights to ever get that child back. We can hope & pray that this next one does not end up being treated the same way!

I was very fortunate that my daughter knew from get go that this was a mistake of sorts on her part and she did try to be a Mom was was not in the cards for her so she gave us first option to adopt or she was going to an adoption agency. We of course went thru the adoption and the baby calls us Mom & Dad as she was to young to remember my daughter as Mom. She calls her by her first name as she would anyone else. My daughter was 19 when she had my granddaughter, she is now 22. We have a good relationship although I hurt inside to myself that she has missed out on this wonderful gift God had given her. But now she is with a really great guy (not the father) and has been with him for 2 years now, they just bought a house together and have discussed having children n future together. I wonder how this will affect the baby when she is old enought o know the whole story! But that is for later years I guess and I shouldn't worry now. LOL I hope you are able to be strong and do what YOU need to do for this childs best benefit even if it means being tough with your own child! Sometimes tough love is the only love you can show to get thru the ordeal. You are wonderful for stepping up for the childs sake and theres more of us out there then you think! I know I was surprised when I got to this site and from conversations with others! We are a special breed!! Good luck and don't be afraid to talk to others here as we are all in somewhat the same boat! Lets sail this ship out together!! LOL

Take care and hope to hear from you soon..........

Bobbi Jo and Katie

Candi - posted on 06/02/2009

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My daughter contacts her children in spurts...she will go a month or so and not call or anything...this hurts the boys because they cry for their mom and I can't do anything about her actions...so yes I feel that if you would rather her not come around then you have the right...you are raising the baby and therefore are the mother figure...would you let a stranger treat your family like that? I know it is hard because we are torn between being the mother and hoping for the best and grandmother who is heartbroke for what the children have to go through...I have decided (at least at this point) that I am in control and I am going to do what is best for my grandchildren. I was the best mom that I could be to my daughter and she is not for her children...but I still hope and pray that she gets her life in order and will one day get her children back...maybe wishful thinking but the bonds of a mother are never broken...I hope I am not rambling and this helps you somewhat.

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